(posted by One More Dying Quail)
Tonight, we have one of those nationally televised matchups that's always nice to see, between two teams that just don't get enough coverage: the Boston Red Sox (who haven't been on ESPN in like six whole days!) and the Minnesota Twins (who were last on ESPN...I don't know when. It was probably last Wednesday, making me look even dumber than usual). All useless hype aside, it's the third of four games between the leaders in the AL East and AL Central, with each team putting one in the win column so far. My wife's "boyfriend", Tim Wakefield (3-1, 3.33) goes against Twins rookie Robert Nicholas Blackburn, popularly known as "Nick" (2-2, 3.65).
Join us below for the best of Joe and Jon. I'd be willing to bet there are approximately twelve mentions of Manny Ramirez (despite the fact that he isn't even playing), eight mentions of David Ortiz's offensive difficulties, and seven conversations about how hard it is to hit a knuckleball.
During the pregame Baseball Tonight, when Chris Berman said, "Hunter Pence", and I immediately thought to myself, "Hunter "Six" Pence "None the Richer"." I want to die.
Haha - when the game came on and Jon and Joe appeared on our screen, my wife said, "AAAAAH! I'm definitely leaving the room now." She doesn't like the fellas, Jon in particular.
One each for Manny and Ortiz - and the game still hasn't started. Also, I neglected to mention the infatuation with Carlos Gomez's speed. I'd be willing to bet we hear an Ellsbury-Gomez comparison at some point.
(Guess what I noticed about a week ago and forgot to mention? Ellsbury was originally drafted by the Tampa Bay Devils Rays in the 23rd round in 2002. Thank God he chose not to sign and lasted until the 23rd overall pick in '05.)
"He hit 18 homeruns last year..." - Jon, talking about Kevin Youkilis - Nope, he hit 16. Close though.
Nice job by ESPN to catch Youkilis' "FUCK!" as he returned to the bench after striking out.
"There are a lot of different philosophies on trying to hit the knuckleball..." - Joe - NICE! First batter in the bottom of the first!
My favorite "Youk's F-bomb" comment:
I think he yells "FUCK" every time he messes up. He probably screams "FUCK" at 200 decibels when he forgets to get milk at the grocery store. I really dislike Youk, and I'm a Sox fan. - NHZ
Youkilis is one of those guys who is always a little overly intense, to the point that it makes me sort of embarassed to watch him sometimes (kinda like Jason Varitek about five years ago). Also, his general state of sweatiness scares me. He should consult a doctor.
"Ellsworth gave it a try..." - Joe - Which Ellsworth was that, Joe? Steve or Dick? Both played for the Sox, but I'm pretty sure neither one is in centerfield tonight.
Does Joe really need to explain why it's better to get hit in the back than in the front of the body? Short answer: because it hurts a hell of a lot less in the back.
"is it just me, or is the fantasy update above the banner graphic too distracting/meaningless. i'm sure some group is in a bar right now wagering on who comes the closest to guessing carlos gomez's average on a 3-1 count." - anonymous
I actually don't mind it all that much. It's small enough that I barely even notice it unless someone points it out (which has happened two weeks in a row now).
"It'd be interesting to see a footrace between Ellsbury and Coco Crisp." - Jon - I know this is the new era of Red Sox fandom, happiness and glee and all that happy crappy stuff, but this needs to be said: there is no way a race between Coco Crisp and Jacoby Ellsbury ends without some horrible injury befalling Ellsbury. No way. It should never happen. Boston doesn't need another Juan Pena.
All that talk about Delmon Young's assist totals and his strong arm, and neither Jon nor Joe mentions that Manny Ramirez threw out 17 runners in 2005. What a shame.
"[Ortiz] has hit two line drives that you could hang your clothes on for a couple weeks." - Joe - Actually, I have nothing negative to add here. I like that line and think that Joe should say stuff like this more often. Descriptive without being stupid.
"You don't have to have great speed, you have to have great instincts." - Joe - Joe Castiglione also mentioned Dustin Pedroia's instincts on the Sox radio broadcast yesterday. Let's see...instinctive, Rookie of the Year, throws his body around for the team. It's official, Red Sox fans: set Dusty up with a supermodel or two and we have our very own mini-Jeter.
Finally - a good in-game interview with a manager. All it took was David Ortiz hamming it up in the background (and Tito threatening to kick his ass).