I promise, Craig James' first attempt at a budding political career is almost over with the Republican Primary for the U.S. Senate in Texas a little over a month away. Despite his last attempt at staying relevant, James's long-shot run doesn't look like it's set to end with anything but a whimper. However, one of the guilty pleasures of James' campaign run have been his painfully amateurish online campaign videos. We've already brought you Craig James on his involvement (at least from his own delusional version of events) in the Texas Tech scandal and the Pony on starting his career in broadcasting.
But now, AA's investigative staff has unearthed two more campaign gems from the self-appointed mayor of "Real Street." The first video somehow takes the public access feel of the James campaign to stunning new highs. Watch and learn, then the quiz will follow.
Did you notice all of that? First, you can see a cameraman next to Jessica James as she's asking the candidate a question. Does James suddenly relate to voters because 95% of them could make a more polished campaign video? The only thing missing is James getting hit in the head with a boom mic. Second, honest to God... John Q. Texan... seriously? John Q. Texan?! Are we sure the people making this video aren't secretly related to Mike Leach? Third, this video was obviously made before Craig James's political soulmate dropped out of the Republican Presidential Primary. And finally, like in most of life, there is a Simpsons clip that relates to James' grand Washington plan.
The next video we have to offer doesn't exactly require much analysis. Here Craig James expounds on his time at SMU and the education he received there. James surprisingly allows the issue of the infamous "death penalty" to be broached in the following video. Of course, James has danced around the SMU issue for years, so how does he address his college days by using his skill as a superior revisionist historian...
Somehow James tries to excuse the SMU scandal as part of the "era of craziness" and the "way of business" of college football back in the 80s. Sure, that's why SMU was slapped on the wrist with THE DEATH PENALTY. Also, James once again claims the money he took at SMU was "insignificant" although he certainly doesn't provide any details. At least he's consistent on one issue. Predictibly, James claims to have nothing to do with the actual transgressions that were uncovered during the SMU scandal, and that he and fellow star Eric Dickerson are only guilty by association although that has been brought into question on many occasions.
We've now seen James cover SMU, Texas Tech, broadcasting, and the mysterious John Q. Texan in these amazing online campaign videos. We can only hope there are more topics left to cover (world peace, the hatred of the blogosphere, a certain number of hookers who may have met their demise) as the 4th quarter of James' first foray into politics comes to a close.