Like your lovable 24 year old frat brother who you can't imagine college life without, the Pam Ward Chronicles have returned for a sixth season! While we've lost half of our Mount Rushmore this season with Pam Ward and Craig James out of the booth, that doesn't mean we can't have the best Pammies season yet. We still have Matt Millen alive and well.
If this is your first time (first of all, where have you been all our lives?), here's the rundown. Leave us all the best, weirdest, most humorous, and most awful announcer quotes from anyone covering college football in the comment thread below. We will update the Pammies as we are able to with your comments in the thread and Tweets to us at AA throughout the day. Use the hashtag #PWAA to send in submissions via Twitter or leave a comment below. We'll update the thread Saturday morning and bring you the nominees on Monday to vote and meet here every week until Craig James is no longer the reigning Pammies champion.
Enjoy your opening week of college football down on Real Street!
"I'm putting my biggest guy on his nose, and jumping him." - Glenn Parker (via sctvman)
"He is a small package, he's only about 160 pounds." - David Pollack (via AA)
"I don't know what disconcerting is." - Aaron Taylor (via sctvman)
"Alabama is used to playing on national TV, Michigan is not." - Mark May (via WebbNHD)
"When he's good, he's good. When he's bad, he's bad." - Andre Ware (via NotFakeRichardH)
"He's a FOOTBALL player." - James Bates (via sctvman)
"He's possessed by things unseen, and he's running the wrong way. Why does Towson tackle him? Why don't his own teammates tackle him?" - Scott Van Pelt (via Daniel)
"Discount double check down" - Rece Davis (via JKoenAU)
"There's a ginormous height differential." - Jesse Palmer (via sctvman)
"I don't think that was holding. I saw no hold there. I'm not so sure about that." - Matt Millen (via Daniel)
"The Irish people, they're used to watching hurling, which looks like a mixture of lacrosse and second degree manslaughter." - David Feherty (via AA)
Sean Mcdonough said that Georgia Tech and Virginia Tech were tied a 7 less than halfway through the 3rd quarter, when in actuality the game was tied at 7 going into a TV timeout with 7:15 left in the 3rd quarter!
Carter Blackburn said He made it!!! Correction, he missed it, it looked good from my view after a missed FG by Kentucky during the 3rd quarter of today's Bluegrass rivalry game between Kentucky at Louisville!!!
Rece Davis during an update for the 1st half of the Oklahoma at UTEP game, excitedly sayng UTEP blocked a punt and is upsetting Oklahoma 7 to 0, before going into a monotone voice and saying but it is still early in the game, realy early!!!
Joe Tessitore and Matt Millen said that Oregon Quarterback Marcus Mariota is a true Freshman, when he is actually a Redshirt Freshman!
Matt Millen constantly saying how fast Oregon's Offense is, right after Joe Tessitore sas that Oregon's offense is fast a bunch of times in the 1st half and Joe Tessitore saying that Arkansas State's offense had been playing a great game despite losing 50 to 10 at Halftime, just because the Arkansas State Quarterback had completed 10 of the 11 pases that he threw in the 1st half during tonight's Arkansas State at Oregon game!!!
I enjoyed how the Big Ten Network analyst kept saying Ohio State needed to pass the ball from the 1-yard line because if the Buckeyes were stopped, there wouldn't be enough time to call a timeout and get in another play. There were three seconds left in the half. I think it was a one play opportunity no matter what.
I herad this on the Dan Patrick Show this morning and am fully planning on watching the acrhive on ESPN3 because of this one line.
Joe Beninati- Towson at Kent State- "Andre has turned into wrongway."
Scott Van Pelt- Halftime- Washington State at BYU (referring to Towson at Kent State)- "He's possessed by things unseen, and he's running the wrong way. Why does Towson tackle him? Why don't his own teammates tackle him?"
Is there anymore perfect example of beating the bush without contributing anything?
Matt Millen- Washington State at BYU- "I don't think that was holding. I saw no hold there. I'm not so sure about that."
Ugh, Matt Millen, why do you destroy an enjoyable game by stating the obvious?
Matt Millen- Washington State at BYU "They're going to their nitro offense, which is a hurry-up. They're going to it because Riley Nelson is supposedly best at it, and they're smart enough to do it. He looks pretty good."