Bill Simmons pokes fun at Chris Berman's 2 Minute Drill picks
Chris Berman's 2 Minute Drill has been a part of SportsCenter for as long as I can remember. The formula for the segment has remained relatively unchanged for years - Berman talks for well over 2 minutes for whatever is on his mind, mixes in recycled footage that's been played dozens of times before (have you ever seen him shoot the cannons at Tampa Bay or tell Howie Long "nice spread"?), and then there's a few game picks.
This year, Berman's picks have been awful - 12 games below .500. So, going into Week 17, Chris Berman picked one game in his 2 Minute Drill, a Colts victory over the Texans, and made it worth 13 games just so he could get his season record over .500 and make it to the NFC Playoffs. Trust me on this, it's as ridiculous as it sounds.
One ESPNer who also makes weekly picks took note on Twitter - Grantland czar Bill Simmons. One detects the slightest amount of needle in this tweet...
Watching ESPN - Chris Berman is 12 games under .500 for the year, so he made his one Week 17 pick worth 13 games. Wait, what????
— Bill Simmons (@BillSimmons) December 29, 2012
Berman didn't just make up the rules in Week 17, he made each pick in Week 16 worth 3 games to try to make up his deficit, but went 3-3. Perhaps Simmons is just trying to defend the honor of everyone who does weekly picks without assigning random values to games just to inflate their ultimately meaningless picks record. I know it's insane to get worked up about the sanctity of football picks and Chris Berman's 2 Minute Drill... but don't you have to own your abysmal picking record? Otherwise, why not just retroactively assign the games you win 100 gold coins and a 1 UP mushroom... because let's be honest, you're not exactly going by the book here.
Of course, it's worth noting that Berman and Simmons represent two different worlds at ESPN. Berman is quoted in the ESPN Book as not even knowing who Bill Simmons is because "that's some other limb of the tree I don't touch." Maybe now that Simmons has an established TV role, Berman can at least become acquainted with the single most successful and important personality at ESPN.
If nothing else, for some help on NFL picks.
I love the way everyone constantly complains about Berman, Madden, Buck, McCarver, etc. Just remember, THEY are on TV and we are still watching them. WHO WINS that round? They do, not us!
Yeah, sorry, but I turn the channel as soon as Berman comes on. Honey Boo Boo is on tv also, you're point is invalid.
@Chuck Schick Turning the channel is your choice. As for me, I will watch Berman, more entertaining than Honey Boo Boo and her wanna be mom.
We are NOTwatching THEM. We are watching the sporting events and stuck with them as announcers (If folks are watching NFL Countdown then they give up the right to complain). Announcers are like dentists, you need them, but that doesn't mean you like them.
@LastingsMilledgeville @craigers3711 U R Correct. We are watching the game not the announcers. I wish they wouldn't state the obvious so much!
@awfulannouncing it's a fun lil segment that Berman does. In the end,does anyone take these guys seriously? I wouldn't put $ on their picks
For years, I prayed and prayed that John Madden would have a heart attack on live TV. Heck, I am convinced they invented DVRs for just this purpose. Alas, he retired before I got my wish. I have been rooting for Boomer to make up for this and man, oh, man, will it be worth it when it happens. *fingers crossed*
@awfulannouncing There was a two year stretch when Mrs. Simmons picked games. She beat him both years.
@awfulannouncing he is a rumblin stumbling douche bag. I won't even watch ESPN and tell he is off
@awfulannouncing picking games NOT ATS is one of the most awful things awful announcers do. Berman's irrelevance is an immovable mass.
@awfulannouncing I was on a plane with Berman in 2004 where he did nothing but research his picks. Seems like at that time he put effort in.
@awfulannouncing Or have you seen him catching that pass from like 5 ft away from Tom Brady?
