Jose Canseco has long drifted off into that Charlie Sheen wacko-celebrity-for-profitability territory with one key difference - Canseco has stayed there. While Sheen has returned back to earth after his torpedo of truth tour fizzled out, Canseco is committed to his newfound life of talking about vampires, time travel, meteors, and basically any ridiculous subject in between. While Canseco's lunatic rants aren't at their cultural height of a year ago, it's a testament to his staying power and zaniness that he's stuck around in this role for so long.
This week Canseco shared his thoughts on gravity and the dinosaurs. Sadly, his fun was spoiled by a real scientist - Bill Nye The Science Guy. Here's Canseco's scientific thoughts (don't forget to read from the bottom up)...
It's a legitimate question. Why doesn't anything REALLY big exist in nature anymore? Outside of Barry Bonds' head that is. Could gravity have been weaker way back in the day? How did those giant birds fly? Who's going to Bonnaroo this year? These are questions we all seek answers for and Canseco's theory about the core of the planet shifting has to be at least as good as any other crackpot scientific explanation. Right? According to one of my childhood heroes, Bill Nye "The Science Guy" the answer is no, of course not. The famed scientist responded to Canseco's theories via The Huffington Post.
"His nickname in Major League Baseball was "The Chemist," because he was so knowledgeable in the chemistry of performance enhancing drugs and making musculature go big. Reading his recent tweets about the remarkable size of the ancient dinosaurs ... it doesn't sound (read) as though he's especially fluent in physics. This fills me with either joy or dismay depending on what social media messages he provides us with next. Either he's in on the joke and is just throwing us all a curve ball with plenty of break, or we as a society have failed him completely with regard to the fundamentals of planetary science."
Science talk and clever baseball puns? What can't that guy do! Once word of Nye's criticism reached the slugger, he sent this missle right back at Bill Nye.
(That's right. Jose Canseco was involved in a public spat with Bill Nye. This is why I'm glad I live in this age and not one where roided up former baseball players' feuds with famous scientists went uncovered in social media.)
As far as hashtag use goes, that single 140 character message immediately vaults into the Twitter pantheon. #doesnotrecognizeancientgravity is the greatest Twitter hashtag of all time. No scientific evidence can convince me otherwise. Go home you millions of other Twitter users. There's no beating that. Ever.
As much as I would have loved to see this lead to an actual scientific debate between Canseco and Nye, Jose reflected on his stance and decided to bury the hatchet.
hey Bill @thescienceguy just re-read your email to huffpost regarding my scientific theories and think I shouldnt have got so mad. hug for u— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 20, 2013
Now let's hope they can work together to prevent another meteor from hitting earth. Hug for u science.
@traynor3 some people have to learn the hard way. Never get into any kind of feud with @JoseCanseco . Especially if it involves science
@awfulannouncing Every man, woman, and child on earth can now cross this off their bucket list. #doesnotrecognizeancientgravity
One brain after the Ivies...the other after the IVs. RT@awfulannouncing: Jose Canseco v Bill Nye. Only 1 will survive http://t.co/XbE9Y2OJgP
@AlexSolomon33 “@awfulannouncing: Jose Canseco vs Bill Nye. Only one will survive. http://t.co/4g0MdpkW6G”
@awfulannouncing If Marv Albert doesn't drop a #doesntrecognizeancientgravity on the next big LeBron dunk, then I've lost faith in humanity.
This is amazing “@SamanthaCRead: This might be the best headline of all time. http://t.co/eFkaIJkRXO”
@awfulannouncing did he REALLY list Japandroids and not Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers? #doesnotrecognizeancientgravity
@Ben_Ups twitter @ its finest RT @awfulannouncing: Jose Canseco schools Bill Nye who #doesnotrecognizeancientgravity http://t.co/DDWQfrQhSw
@awfulannouncing Did Jose Canseco steal his theory of reduced ancient gravity from this guy? http://t.co/WLvZl9CI0p
@MattCLund LMAO!! #BillNye http://t.co/Qix5e8LzvQ
Absolutely hilarious RT @awfulannouncing: Jose Canseco schools Bill Nye. Maybe the social media event of the year. http://t.co/gGVWitTIxO
Awesome MT @awfulannouncing: Jose Canseco schools Bill Nye, who #doesnotrecognizeancientgravity. http://t.co/JYPVp9S1gC
Any time I see a Jose Canseco mention in my twitter timeline, an angel loses his wings. He's the worst.
“@awfulannouncing: Jose Canseco and Bill Nye argue over ancient gravity. (This is a real thing that happened.) http://t.co/Rf8GNeAitf” READ!
@batchelor1040: It really is. What a hilarious feud. And #doesnotrecognizeancientgravity is such an amazing hashtag.
I love the Internet. “@awfulannouncing: Jose Canseco and Bill Nye argue over ancient gravity. http://t.co/c7EcchlNXM”
Twitter FTW RT @awfulannouncing: Jose Canseco and Bill Nye argue over ancient gravity http://t.co/UiLId85jg5
@awfulannouncing I wonder who came out on top. The guy nicknamed "The Science Guy" or the guy who is at least 3/4 brain-dead?
@NotNotRyanRuden did not, just googled it. #youtryintogetthepipe? Quality, I can work that into my repertoire
@AndrewBucholtz I love that he threw in #baddresser as well. As if one has to dress well to understand ancient gravity.
@scottmar10 Now it works. Stupid internet. I think this whole thing is just a passing fad. Can't wait for 8 tracks to be cool again.