America rang in 2013 in style... by watching Jenny McCarthy deliver one of the most epic live action performances caught on national television. McCarthy was all over the place, which left us wondering at home whether or not she got into some of Diane Sawyer's secret stash from Election Night. She creepily stalked a Justin Bieber cardboard cutout (McCarthy is 40 and the Biebs is 18 so no worries, it would TOTALLY be legal!), basically pleaded to be taken away in handcuffs by frightened policemen, and made out with a sailor who had a little bit of something on his upper lip. Needless to say, herpes has never been so widely discussed on New Year's Eve. Ah yes, the wholesome spirit of Dick Clark is alive and well!
But maybe the best part of Jenny McCarthy's New Year's Eve was seeing everyone on Twitter so worried about her wellbeing... or making jokes about the shock and awe of the situation. After last night's performance, surely a reality television show has to be in McCarthy's future. The train wreck potential of that would make Honey Boo Boo look like Antiques Roadshow. Give credit to Jenny McCarthy for totally overshadowing and outdoing whatever that little apocalpyse scare could throw our way.
As always, these are Real Tweets from Real People...
Did Jenny McCarthy play the dinosaur that devoured Wayne Knight in Jurassic Park, or am I misremembering?— Thomas Lennon (@thomaslennon) January 1, 2013
Live every day like a drunk Jenny McCarthy on national TV. A motto to live by.— Chris Burke (@ChrisBurke_SI) January 1, 2013
During the last commercial break, I think Jenny McCarthy drank a family sized bottle of mouthwash— Joe Lucia (@JoeCNC) January 1, 2013
Jenny McCarthy: "I'm just having so much fun (dissuading parents from getting important vaccines for their kids)."— Sean McNally (@SeanMMcNally) January 1, 2013
Jenny McCarthy is only dancing with that sailor because he's opposed to vaccines.— Mark Ennis (@Mengus22) January 1, 2013
Still can't get those images of Jenny McCarthy out of my mind #scarred— Ranissa (@thatssoranissa) January 1, 2013
Jenny McCarthy still running around Time Square with an unplugged microphone, demanding people kiss her.— stanhoraczek (@stanhoraczek) January 1, 2013
i can't decide if i think jenny mccarthy is on acid right now or if this is her normal personality— Isaac Edward L. (@NEIGHBOR__) January 1, 2013
I wonder how many cigarettes Jenny McCarthy ate today.— reddingyy0 (@reddingyy0) January 1, 2013
Seeing Jenny McCarthy make out with a cardboard cutout of Justin Bieber. #CreepyMomentsofMyyLife— Janna O'Shea (@dreamyeyed) January 1, 2013
What is wrong with Jenny McCarthy? That's a rhetorical question.— Cynical Girl (@cynicgrrl) January 1, 2013
And the zombie apocalypse starts.....with Jenny McCarthy.— just1cyclist (@just1cyclist) January 1, 2013
I think if Dick Clark was here Jenny McCarthy wouldn't be acting like she was a zombie about to bite someone's face off— ugh harry (@narryberries) January 1, 2013
The apocalypse finally arrived... disguised as Jenny McCarthy with a microphone.— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) January 1, 2013
Jenny McCarthy go home, you're drunk— David Groth (@david_groth23) January 1, 2013