Deep in Parts Unknown of the sports world lies a debate desk, surrounded by a lake of fire and hideous, monstrous looking creatures. This place is known in the above world as the First Take studio. The daily double trolling of Skip Bayless and Stephen A. Smith, or what I like to refer to as Occupy Common Sense, was on full display as the two debated Dwight Howard's future and a possible trade to the Lakers. (I know, a Tebow free three minutes, who knew?!)
Skip Bayless sent Stephen A. into the laughing fit/heart attack pictured above by saying he would take Andrew Bynum straight up over Dwight Howard. Dwight Howard is a 4 time All NBA First Teamer. Andrew Bynum was last seen doing this. Preposterous, but as we all know, that's what Skip Bayless is paid by ESPN to do for a living. Consider it our public service to feed the trolls and share videos like this with you so that you will know to stay away from this dark, evil place...
If I were ESPN, I would trade Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless straight up for Jacob Silj and this mentally unbalanced wrestling fan to debate every day. It would be more watchable television.
Yesterday, the Dallas Morning News reported what we had first heard a couple weeks ago, Craig James is going to run in the Republican Primary for the United States Senate seat in Texas being left vacant by Kay Bailey Hutchison. This sent the Twitterverse into a liberating jubilee of snarky jokes and references to dead hookers. Something tells me it'll be more fun to cover Craig James political candidate (as evidenced by the screengrab above) than Craig James corrupt college football analyst. As always, these are Real Tweets from Real People...
texashsfootball In regards to Craig James.. he wont win the Senate seat and he is off ESPN due to running for office.. so double win for everyone. DanWetzel I worked w Craig James at Yahoo. Can't think of a better group to "enjoy" that experience than Washington politicians ClayTravisBGID I'd like to say no way that Texas elects Craig James, but somehow you've elected Rick Perry three times. greggdoyelcbs The characters in the Senate would look at Craig James and say, "There goes the neighborhood." slmandel Robert Griffin thinks Craig James has no chance of winning Senate. TamaraJoleeTV I'm actually voting for Craig James; I'd much rather him have a Senate Seat than ESPN Seat. BourbonWarfare Time Magazine's choice of "the protester" as person of the year might be the dumbest thing I've seen since Craig James' Senate run. Juddley Craig James has a great shot @ a Senate seat. He knows how to be in a group that can take a bribe & isn't afraid to be publicly stupid.
texasbirddog If Craig James is elected to anything, I will lock myself in a shed. szsandlin Craig James running for the senate??? That could very well be the "death penalty" for TX political effectiveness in Washington. seanpcoyle I weep for our country if Craig James is ever an elected official in any capacity #Rememberthe5 COUGFANcom If there was any doubt about Craig James being a delusional crackpot, his Senate announcement Tues surely seals the deal. BePeeArr Who is going to tell Craig James that Congressmen don't get diplomatic immunity that protect them from murdering five hookers charges. DeepFriedSports If Craig James gets elected we are ALL going to have to shovel earth until Texas is severed from the rest of the country #howsmyhair janorwood Told my 12 year old Craig James was running for senate. He burst out laughing. #goodpoliticalinstincts GodsSport Sure, put Craig James in the Senate. He'll be off the air, and it's not like he can make Congress less effective. #firecraigjames
cdhacker1421 If Craig James wins that election, I will have lost all faith in America. VictoryforSha Craig James, who "most recently gained attention for his peculiar college football voting in the AP ballot" ... is running for Senate? BenjaminJDawson The Craig James news makes up for almost everything bad that happened in college football this year. css01 I want to move to Texas, just to vote against Craig James. TheCBurns Craig James is running for Senate. Nail in the coffin, I am moving to Canada. henchman21 I don't know which is the worse option; Craig James in government, or Craig James remaining on ESPN. longhornderek If Craig James has any campaign stops in Lubbock, I really want to go. #txsen notdanielhenry When asked in a debate to sum his campaign up into one word, Craig James would use: "corruption" TimWatts_BOL If craig james gets a single vote in his run for senate I'm going to be disappointed in mankind as a whole.
On Monday, we posted our nominees for the Pammy quote of the year to kick off our AA yearendapalooza. What better way to celebrate the departure of Craig James from the broadcast booth and the year that was in the Pammies than by counting down the Top 10 quotes of 2011! James ran away with this year's Pammies, but he didn't capture the Pammy of the Year for the most memorable quote of the college football season. Who did? Let's just say it was a great year for casual swearing across the family of networks. The envelope please...
10) "The first, inaugural Big 12 Champions." - Tim Brewster (via Aaron_Torres) at the Big Ten Championship Game.
9) "Smith has a team high 6 catches on the season. Or on the season or in the game because it's the first game of season" - Pam Ward(via kevin7673)
8) "2 of the last 3 Central Michigan passes have been intercepted. The last one for an interception." - Pam Ward (via SBisho12)
7) "I know a lot of Aggies who are happy they aren't blowing out (Texas)." - Craig James (via sctvman) Even for Craig James this makes no sense.
6) "Six Trojans are going to come" - CraigJames (via SenatorGiggity)
5) "If he wasn't a quiet guy, he would be a vocal leader on this club" - Craig James (via dhh78) on Marcus Lattimore.
4) "There is a good possibility one of these teams will suffer their first loss." - Gary Danielson (via ATLNagel) in a game featuring unbeaten Florida vs unbeaten Alabama.
3) "Got his hands on a lot of balls and then a sack." - Gary Danielson (via Ryan Scheb)
2A) "I'm all for it. I'm not completely against it." - Craig James (via DWW_1992)
2B) "It's not even close and it's really close right now." - Craig James (via IsaacTM)
The degree of difficulty of this buzzer beater is off the charts. Damien Bell-Holter, who plays center, steals the pass and baseball throws in a one-footed contested missile from half court to win the game. He even does it on the road in front of what looks to be a very raucous UALR Jack Stephens Center crowd. After the pass is intercepted, Haxton excitedly says "let's go to overtime!" before breaking out in hysterics after the shot miraculously doesn't shatter the backboard and goes in. Also, check out #22 Steven Roundtree's victory dance, it's almost as good as Bell-Holter's shot.
Since I write for Awful Announcing, I'd be remiss if I didn't point out the news anchor saying, "as they say, expect a miracle." I disagree with "they" that expecting a miracle is actually a thing that one should be doing. Besides, a certain QB in Denver certainly might be bogarting most of the miracles these days.
The win improved Oral Roberts' record to 7-3 on the season. Hopefully ORU once again can make the tournament so when it comes time to filling out our brackets we can proudly brag that we picked "ORAL" to go far in the tournament. Next, the Golden Eagles travel to Spokane for a showdown with Gonzaga.
But now it looks like the Pony's run for political office is indeed coming true. According to Gromer Jeffers, political reporter for the Dallas Morning News, Craig James will file paperwork Thursday to run for the United States Senate...
This calls for a celebration, unless you live in Texas that is...
Dick Stockton has the lead in the awards that bear his name, but there's still plenty of voting left in the 2011 Dickies. Phil Simms turned in an absolutely epic performance in Green Bay's blowout victory over Oakland this week, and it was tough to only limit him to four nominees. Enjoy Phil's pearls of wisdom and the rest of your Week 14 nominees...
1) "Mike McCarthy...I said he's a genius. And you know why? Because he doesn't try to be a genius." - Phil Simms (via DevsFan30)
2) "You hate when your balls get tipped around" - Marcellus Wiley (via jbteller)
3) "This is a very important game." - Chris Berman. He was talking about the Jaguars-Buccaneers game. (via JoshuaBatelli)
4) "Aaron Rodgers can make that ball spin so much that it almost wobbles" - Phil Simms (via yerger)
5) "Tom is pretty good at challenges. He's lost his last six though" - Al Michaels (via ThreeRiversBlog)
6) "How about the second yard statistics from this game?" - Jim Mora showing the second quarter stats (via ShutdownLine)
7) "You know, coach Cowher he hands out compliments like manhole covers." - Phil Simms (via kylejgood)
There have been plenty of great real life sports stories that have found a new life on the silver screen and success in Hollywood. Remember the Titans, Invictus, The Blind Side, Rudy, Hoosiers, Glory Road, Major League... ok, maybe not that last one. Surprisingly though, Hollywood has never efforted a major movie to tell perhaps the most dramatic, influential, transformational sports story of them all - the life of Jackie Robinson. A Robinson film is now being planned and one of Hollywood's biggest icons will take part as Harrison Ford is slated to play legendary Dodgers GM Branch Rickey. Here's the details from MLB.com...
One of baseball's most inspirational stories will soon have a powerful cast to bring it to life.
Legendary Pictures announced Friday that it has cast Harrison Ford as Branch Rickey and Chadwick Boseman as Jackie Robinson in an upcoming film about the ballplayer-turned-civil rights icon. Brian Helgeland, the author of "L.A. Confidential" and "Mystic River," has been tabbed to write and direct the story about Robinson famously breaking baseball's color barrier in 1947.
Ford, the star of the long-running "Indiana Jones" franchise and an Academy Award Best Actor nominee in 1985 for the feature film "Witness," will bring his considerable weight to Rickey's role. Rickey, a Hall of Fame executive, is best known for bringing Robinson to the big leagues and changing baseball forever, but he's also received credit for all but creating the modern-day Minor League farm system.
Chadwick Boseman, a Brooklyn native who will play Robinson, has experience in athlete biopics, albeit in a supporting role - he played future Syracuse RB Floyd Little in The Express. It'll be exciting to see how the stories of Robinson and Rickey play out in the upcoming film and where it'll rank amongst the great sports movies of all-time. I've always been enamored with the story of Branch Rickey because we share the same alma mater, Ohio Wesleyan University. It was back in 1903 when Rickey, who was coaching the OWU baseball team at the time, recruited Charles Thomas to fill his catching role on the team. Thomas was the lone black player on the OWU team. His courage facing racism and his relationship with Rickey remained with the future Dodgers GM for many years to come. It's just one example of the several layers of amazing stories that can be told in this film, which will surely be a must see for all sports fans.
If you’ve watched ESPN2’s First Take (even if just for five minutes) or followed Skip Bayless’ Twitter account over the last few months, you’re well aware that he has an affinity for Tim Tebow that’s beginning to reach highly uncomfortable levels.
The main point Bayless constantly (at least 50 times/day) makes in regards to Tebow is, “All he does is win!” And unfortunately to those of us that hate when Bayless looks anywhere close to accurate with his opinions, Tebow indeed continues to win. Of course, if you study the NFL much, you realize the Broncos’ defense is far and away the main reason for their six-game winning streak (or in last night’s case, Marion Barber pretty much handing the Broncos the game, twice).
Anyway, DJ Steve Porter gave Bayless’ “All he does is win!“ stuff the auto-tune treatment. Check it out:
Over the next couple weeks we'll be posting several gimmicky year-end articles to look back on the year in AA. I'm a bit of a sucker for year-end lists and retrospectives, what can I say. To kick start our celebration of 2011 is the first ever vote for Pammy of the Year! We've brought together the Pammy winners from the 14 weeks of the regular season along with a few of our favorites for you to select the Pammy quote of the year. The rules are the same for the weekly Pammy vote, you can vote for up to five nominees and the winners will come Wednesday morning. Here are your nominees...
1) "Smith has a team high 6 catches on the season. Or on the season or in the game because it's the first game of season" - Pam Ward(via kevin7673)
2) "The goal of the defense is to keep the offense from scoring." - Artrell Hawkins with brilliant analysis (via steve5643)
3) "... is from right here in Louisville" - Pam Ward (via TheBlightning) calling the CM-UK game from Lexington.
4) "Got his hands on a lot of balls and then a sack." - Gary Danielson (via Ryan Scheb)
5) "If he wasn't a quiet guy, he would be a vocal leader on this club" - Craig James (via dhh78) on Marcus Lattimore.
6) "2 of the last 3 Central Michigan passes have been intercepted. The last one for an interception." - Pam Ward (via SBisho12)
7) "I caught up with Bitch... Butch Jones coming out of the half." - Jenn Brown (VIDEO)
8) "I'll tell you... I can't begin to tell you." - Brett Favre (via RickRoswell) on Mississippi HS football.
9) "There is a good possibility one of these teams will suffer their first loss." - Gary Danielson (via ATLNagel) in a game featuring unbeaten Florida vs unbeaten Alabama.
10) "This is why Lamar Miller averages eight and a half carries per touch." - Craig James (via DWW_1992)
11) "Six Trojans are going to come" - CraigJames (via SenatorGiggity)
12A) "I'm all for it. I'm not completely against it." - Craig James (via DWW_1992)
12B) "It's not even close and it's really close right now." - Craig James (via IsaacTM)
13) "I knew right away because it felt different under there." - Gary Danielson (via sjwest86) on accidentally lining under a guard
14) "You come in and bite, I'm pullin' that sucker out" - Matt Millen (via Chris Schenkel)
15) "Stick it up in there hard and with power!" - Chris Spielman (via DomoBENesis)
16) "Fans are wearing blue in honor of child support, err, child abuse" - Tom Rinaldi (via AlexFromBuffalo)
17) "Boise doesn't lose at home. You have to beat them" - Shaun King (via SoonerCharley)
Barcelona once again got the best of Real Madrid this weekend in the latest Clasico, winning 3-1 on the road at the Santiago Bernabeu. It was Barca's sixth win in their last seven La Liga games against their rivals (with one draw) and puts them level with Madrid for top spot in the league. It was a wild game with fluky goals both ways, but Barcelona's world class talent and tactical maneuvering won the day. (For the hardcore soccer fans, Jonathan Wilson at SI and Zonal Marking's breakdown of the game are must reads.)
But we're here to talk about one of my favorite announcers, Ray Hudson of Gol TV. The mad scientist of announcers was at his excitable best for the high profile game. While I usually abhor analysts that shout over their play by play men, Ray is the one exception to the rule. His unique way with words is unlike any other announcer and a lot of credit should go to his partner Phil Schoen for allowing Ray the leeway to be who he is... a screaming, philosophizing, entertaining madman. Below are the highlights of the Barcelona-Real Madrid game with Hudson and Schoen's commentary and some of the best Ray Hudson quotes below...
"Ramos slips like Bambi on ice and Leo's in..."
"There's plenty of meat and potatoes on his header."
"OOOOO-WAAAA!!!!"
"GAHHH!!!... It's a paradigm of everything that Barcelona is brilliant at and it's Lionel Messi again... Lionel, the dagger's out for him, he slots it through, and Sanchez has got no time. One touch to control, another caress of it and a wonderful slingshot."
"It's chameleon eyes I believe that strikes it with just enough technique to take it towards goal but it takes a wicked deflection, and the saints ain't smilin' on Saint Iker now. This is a gangster goal from Barcelona and it's Xavi that's holding the revolver."
"AAAYYAAAHHH!!! Astonishing miss... this is food and drink for Cristiano and that is a horrendous miss!"
"Fabregas doesn't get his dagger out here, he gets his big harpoon and puts it into Real Madrid."
"It's lightning speed counterattack, but with glinting blades like Edward Scissorhands, Barcelona cuts Real Madrid down to size."
"Great ball... well played... nicely... AAAHHHH... not so sure if big Benz is going for goal, I think he is, and he's not far away. Wonderful. He puts Carlos Puyol on his back like a turtle..."
