Even though the Pammies season is winding down, Straight Outta Stockton is just reaching the beginning of the home stretch.  The Dickies will be here throughout December and it's looking like a tight race for the season title.  Here are your Week 12 nominees...

1) "If he completes the pass in the endzone, it'll be a touchdown" - Dave Lapham (via kcurr0408)

2) "Rolando Blackmon... I mean Rolando McClain" - Daryl Johnston (via angelfanmp)

3) "Helu dancing... and can't find the dance floor" - Ron Pitts (via JagsFan93)

4) "Patrick Peterson will be giving Newton & Andy Dalton a run for Rookie of the Year." - Chris Myers (via B_Bugg).  This ignores the fact that there is something called Offensive and Defensive Rookie of the Year.

5) "There's the challenge flag. he threw it! i don't think they see it!" - Dick Stockton as Raheem Morris threw the flag to a coach (via bjo109)

6) "When he gets possession there, he doesn't have possession." - Chad Pennington (via bjo109)

7) "Ndamukong Suh is like Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls" - Keyshawn Johnson (via LobShots)

8) "The 53 yard touchdown run by Beanie Wells leads to the 22 yard field goal." - Terry Bradshaw (via sctvman)

9) "This organization had to move forward with their 12th round pick (Christian Ponder)" - Brian Billick (via siggfya)

10) "I want to measure the large intestine of andy dalton because this kids got guts like ive never seen" - Dave Lapham (via rossmallaley)

11) "This is an incestuous night" - Mike Mayock (via TheLoadedOne)

12) "Hardly anything wrong can go bad." - Phil Simms (via AA)

13) "Right tackle, Cherilus Gosder." - Aikman Troy (via Dascenzo) saying Gosder Cherilus' name backwards for some reason.

14) "Right cheek, left cheek, control all the way through." -Brian Billick (via poundthehole)

15) "I don't wanna sound like a cheerleader up here but way to go Brees! That's awesome!" - Jon Gruden (via ConnorKiesel)

16) "Every day Brees comes to work, Payton stimulates him." - Jon Gruden (via CaptTouchback)

Vote For Your Week 12 Dickies Nominees! (vote for up to five)

The winners will come Wednesday so make sure you vote early and often and check back for the full NFL Week 13 announcing sked later this week!

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Someone who is quickly becoming an internet superstar is AC Milan soccer announcer Tiziano Crudeli. Known for his passionate play by play (which we saw earlier this month), another video has surfaced much to our amusement.

Out of the 5-minute video clip, I could gather at first Crudeli is pissed off because Milan falls behind Lecce 3-0 in the first half. Then he gets excited, followed by what almost looks like tears, as AC Milan comes back to tie and then win the game 4-3.

The words I could understand [in order] are also quite fitting: Stupid, Bologna, Grande’, and then Squash. He then repeatedly screams “BOA BOA BOA TENG TENG TENG” which I assume is crazy old guy talk for “my team just came back from a huge deficit to crush your sorry excuse for a team."

Usually I’m all for someone getting angry at their favorite team throwing away a win early on in a matchup, but for an announcer to get up, scream and wave his finger into the camera as if his son just shot up a bank miiiiiiight be considered a tad over the top.

As annoying it may be for any non-Milan fan to have to listen to Crudeli call plays in any game, I’m sure I’m not alone in saying that I would happily support any MLB or NFL team hiring this guy STAT.

And here's the video evidence of Milan's 4-3 win over Lecce from last month.

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Thursday, December 1:  

8 PM- West Virginia at South Florida [ESPN/ ESPN3]- Rece Davis, Craig James, Jesse Palmer, Jenn Brown

Friday, December 2:  

7 PM- MAC Championship: Ohio vs. Northern Illinois [ESPN2/ESPN3]- Joe Tessitore, Rod Gilmore, Jeannine Edwards

8 PM- Pac 12 Championship: UCLA at Oregon [FOX]- Gus Johnson, Charles Davis, Tim Brewster, Dhani Jones

Saturday, December 3:  

12 PM- CUSA Championship: Southern Miss at Houston [ABC]- Mike Patrick, Craig James, Lisa Salters

12 PM- UConn at   Cincinnati   [ESPN/ESPN3]- Dave Pasch, Chris Spielman, Quint Kessenich

12 PM-   Syracuse   at Pitt [ESPN2/ESPN3]- Dave Lamont, Mike Bellotti

12:30-  Iowa   State  at   Kansas   State   [FSN]- Joel Meyers, Brian Baldinger, Jim Knox  

1 PM- Old Dominion at   Georgia   Southern [ESPN3]- Doug Bell, John Bunting  

2 PM- Maine at Appalachian State [ESPN3]- John Sadak, Rene Ingoglia

2 PM- Central Arkansas at Montana [ESPN3]- Ryan Rose,Adam Archuletta

2 PM- Wyoming at Colorado State [mtn.]- Todd Harris, Todd Christensen, Roger Bailey

2:30- UNLV at TCU [VERSUS]- Paul Bermeister, Shaun King, Anthony Herron

3 PM- Troy at Arkansas State [Sun Belt Network/ ESPN3]- Joe Davis, Cole Cubelic, Erin Cofiell

3 PM- New Hampshire at Montana State [ESPN3]- Trey Bender, Jay Taylor

3 PM- Stony Brook at Sam Houston State [ESPN3]- Dan Gutowsky, Warrick Dunn

3:30- Texas at Baylor [ABC]- Sean McDonough, Matt Millen, Samantha Steele

3:30- Utah State at New Mexico State [Aggie Vision/ KCSG/ ESPN3]- Glen Cerny, Danny Knee [Aggie Vision/ESPN3]; Mychal Clanton, Kevin White, Brooks Hansen [KCSG]

3:30- Lehigh at Towson [ESPN3]- Bob Picozzi, John Gregory

4 PM- SEC Championship: LSU vs. Georgia [CBS]- Verne Lundquist, Gary Danielson, Tracy Wolfson

4 PM- Idaho at Nevada [WAC Sports Network/ESPN3]- Barry Tompkins, Joe Glenn

4 PM- James Madison at North Dakota State [ESPN3]- Jim Barbar,  Jay Walker

5 PM- Wofford at Northern Iowa [ESPN3]- Shawn Kenney & Rob Harley

6 PM- New Mexico at Boise State [mtn.]- Ari Wolfe, Blaine Fowler, Darius Walker

7:30- BYU at Hawaii [ESPN2/ ESPN3]- Carter Blackburn, Brock Huard

8 PM- Big Ten Championship: Wisconsin vs. Michigan State [FOX]- Gus Johnson, Charles Davis, Tim Brewster, Dhani Jones

8 PM- Oklahoma at Oklahoma State [ABC]- Brad Nessler, Todd Blackledge, Holly Rowe

8 PM- ACC Championship: Virginia Tech vs. Clemson [ESPN/ ESPN3]- Brent Musburger, Kirk Herbstreit,  Heather Cox

8 PM- Fresno State at San Diego State [CBSSN]- James Bates, Aaron Taylor, Brooke Collins

H/T Daniel

We haven't heard from AA favorite Crazy Jack Edwards so far this NHL season... and that needs to change!  You can check out this clip of Jack calling Milan Lucic's fight against Paul Gaustad of the Sabres last week, "UNANIMOUS DECISION: MILAN LUCIC."  Well, here's another dramatic video from Jack after the Bruins defeated the Canadiens 1-0.  If you had Jack declaring Tim Thomas to be the best goalie on earth after a relatively routine save on the Jack Edwards Wheel of Insanity, you're a winner.  

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A stunning story in the world of sports is the tragic death of Wales soccer manager Gary Speed.  Speed, only 42 years old, was a former Premier League player and Welsh international.  He was reportedly found hanged in his home on the weekend.  Tributes immediately poured in for Speed from all over the UK and beyond.  Perhaps the most wrenching piece of video involving this awful news comes from Sky Sports News, where reporter Bryn Law visibly breaks down in tears discussing Speed's death and his correspondence with the late Wales manager...

Just a terrible story, certainly thoughts and prayers go out to all those touched by the tragedy.

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The Urban Meyer to Ohio State reports really kicked into high gear when Buckeye blog Eleven Warriors sent out this tweet eleven days ago, saying ESPN analyst Urban Meyer was 99.7% sure to take the Ohio State head coaching job.  As much as Sports by Brooks wants to take credit for breaking the story, it seems like Eleven Warriors had the reports first.  (Which has developed an interesting case of blogger on blogger violence in its own right.)  Since then, what has evolved is a quagmire of reports, sources, and denials that makes Baghdad Bob look like a public relations savant.  I've lived through 62 Brett Favre retirements and comebacks and this is by far the messiest story I can ever remember.  Hopefully it ends today and Urban Meyer is FINALLY announced publicly as Ohio State head coach.  But that doesn't mean there haven't been nauseating twists and turns along the way.  Let's take a look back, shall we?

*Urban Meyer's First Denial, November 19th

After the initial Eleven Warriors report, the question had to be put directly to Urban Meyer with regards to him becoming the next coach at Ohio State.  At least ESPN had him address it publicly (not so on the next Saturday as you'll see later).  Broadcast partner Dave Pasch asked Meyer about the OSU reports during the Michigan/Nebraska game.  Here's what Urban had to say via SBNation:

"Well there's no truth to that," Meyer said of the rumors. "I know it's that time of year, but I have not been offered any job and I have certainly not accepted any job."

After that first denial we learned one thing, Urban Meyer isn't a good actor.  Immediately, top college football writers questioned Urban's denial...

*More reports keep pouring in, November 22-23

There were some rumblings that Scout had the Urban to OSU story as early as Eleven Warriors, but the first word on Twitter from Scout's Ohio State writer Bill Greene on November 22nd called Meyer to OSU a done deal.

It was also at this time that more traditional media piled on the story and issued their own reports.  Tim May and the Columbus Dispatch confirmed reports of a done deal on November 23rd.  The Cleveland Plain Dealer also issued their own report that same day.  From an ESPN search, it appears they issued their first story on Meyer actually accepting the job on the ESPN Big Ten blog only after the Dispatch and Plain Dealer reports.  For what it's worth, CBS also had their own source that said a deal wasn't done yet.  

Meyer, stubbornly sticking to his guns, denied the story AGAIN:

"I have not been offered any job nor is there a deal in place," Meyer said in a statement. "I plan on spending Thanksgiving with my family and will not comment on this any further."

Hopefully Urban and his family (ya know, the one that he left coaching for) enjoyed a peaceful Thanksgiving.  If you're still following along, I'm going to warn you, here's where things get difficult...

As we march towards an SECgasm of epic proportions, the college football regular season approaches its conclusion.  Conference championships and the final regular season games are next week and the bowl season is right around the corner.  Leave us some thoughts on how you'd like to see the Pammies and AA cover the bowls and the committee (uhhh... that's me I guess...) will take it under consideration.  Here are your Week 13 nominees...

1) "I know a lot of Aggies who are happy they aren't blowing out (Texas)." - Craig James (via sctvman)  Even for Craig James this makes no sense.

2) "A Touchdown by a Holgerson offense is like a Kardashian with one photo" - Joe Tessitore (via jleimer)

3) "ONSIDE KICK! Well, he pooched it." -- Verne Lundquist (via tomatpsu)

4) "If you play the game of sport, whatever that sport is you're gonna make mistakes." - Craig James (via sctvman)

5) "Chop blocking is a staple of what Georgia Tech does." - Mark Jones (via sctvman)

6) "Florida is in the pistol formation with QB Brantley taking the shotgun snap" - Bob Davie (via timrcook)

7) "I downloaded that ESPN app. It's the greatest thing ever. Greatest thing in the history of mankind." - Sean McDonough (via bloggerjustinf). Sellin' hard for the mothership!

8) "That might've not even gotten a first down...oh it did, by 4 yards." - Gary Danielson (via bj109)

9) "He's got a little giddy up in his giddy up." - Chris Spielman (via AA)

10) "First down Pitt by a pimple of leather!"- Joe Tessitore (via sjwest86)

11) "I think this may be on Jordan Jefferson, he pulled out." - Gary Danielson (via AA)

12) "You see he lands on his right shoulder, and he throws with his right foot." - Ray Bentley (via glokkenspx)

13) "His   left   foot   was   out before his other two." - Brock Huard, apparently the Oregon WR has 3 feet (via tcgb22)

14) "He took his ball off the eyes" - Chris Spielman (via clevelandfan87)

15) "If you're going to stop a guy like Johnson you have to get some penetration" - Craig James (via Wiginator)

16) "I have a feeling this could be one of those PAC 12 games" - Craig James (via notthatJimBurt).  Please, tell me more...

Vote For Your Week 13 Pammy Nominees! (vote for up to five)

The winners will come Wednesday morning.  The check back later this week for the championship weekend announcing schedule and stay tuned for the Pammies!

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The below video shows why Bob Costas is so polarizing.  Much of what he does is of the highest standard, but this uppity essay/rant destroying celebrations in the NFL and lifting up the No Fun League will surely divide opinion.  His erudite halftime essays are usually worth little more than a trip to the fridge, but this dissertation dissing NFL celebrations quickly drew much praise and criticism on Twitter.  The subject of Costas' silky smooth venom was Bills WR Stevie Johnson for his bizarre TD celebration mocking Plaxico Burress shooting himself in the leg.  A little tasteless?  Probably.  But did you laugh under your breath?  I'm willing to bet yes.  

Personally, if Bob Costas, Roger Goodell and the like didn't turn every NFL celebration into the Scopes Trial, we wouldn't have this huge problem of supposedly selfish celebrations.  Nobody thought the Fun Bunch were horrible human beings after all, right?  (Unless you believe group high fives are inherently evil, I suppose.)  Guys wildly celebrate goals all the time in soccer, so why can't people be happy and express themselves when they do something good?  As long as they keep their pants on that is...

And here's the full transcript of the Costas essay from NBC...

"For those of you too busy keeping up with the Kardashians to notice, we live in a culture that in many ways grows more stupid and graceless by the moment. Sports both reflects and influences that sorry trend, so on playing fields everywhere, true style is in decline, while mindless exhibitionism abounds.

In the late ’60's, the Giants had a receiver named Homer Jones. He invented the spike -- and it was great; a simple, elegant punctuation that somehow has devolved into this…(video of excessive celebrations)

Given the tone of the times, it's probably too much to expect that most players would appreciate that back in the day, this guy (Barry Sanders) was much cooler than this guy (Mark Gastineau), or that there is a difference between spontaneous and/or good-natured displays of enthusiasm and calculated displays of obnoxious self-indulgence. No, that train has already gone so far down the wrong track, there's probably no turning back.

So our suggestion here is a more modest one: hey, knuckleheads, is it too much to ask that you confine your buffoonery to situations that don't directly damage your team? Week after week, game after game, we see guys who think nothing of incurring penalties for unsportsmanlike conduct, costing their team’s valuable yardage, even late in close games.

Today's most conspicuous culprit: Buffalo's Stevie Johnson, who after a TD catch versus the Jets, thought it would be a good idea to go Marcel Marceau, pantomiming, among other things, Plaxico Burress shooting himself in the leg. But in this case, it was Johnson, who shot himself in the foot, as his display cost his team a 15-yard penalty on the ensuing kickoff. And given a short field, the Jets proceeded to score in a critical game that wound up, 28-24, New York.

Which raises this question: where are the coaches in all this? Guys are routinely benched or called out for blown assignments. When is a coach going to make an overdue statement and sit a guy down on the grounds of pure selfishness and unprofessionalism detrimental to his team?

By the way, late in the loss to the Jets, Johnson dropped a pass that could have led to a Buffalo win. Shockingly, he didn’t follow it with a rehearsed “my bad” dance of apology. Maybe he just forgot."

[h/t apsports89 and sportsgeeks for the video]

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ESPN analyst Bobby Valentine, the great orator who took over for Joe Morgan on Sunday Night Baseball, may be leaving our living rooms and making a return to the dugout. According to WEEI.com, he's one of two remaining candidates the Boston Red Sox are considering for their vacant skipper position, which they'd like to have filled before Winter Meetings begin next Monday: 

According to a team source, the Red Sox owners met with Tigers third base coach Gene Lamont earlier this week. He and ESPN broadcaster Bobby Valentine are the two managerial candidates who have met with team owners in the second round of the interview process. As of now, the source said, there are no plans to conduct further interviews (either with Blue Jays first base coach Torey Lovullo or with another candidate), though as the late emergence of Valentine in the process suggests, such a possibility cannot be dismissed entirely.

The team has yet to make a decision. However, with the field narrowed significantly, the team seems likely to announce a hiring next week, prior to the start of the winter meetings.

Some are recklessly speculating that Valentine is the favorite, but Valentine said he hasn't heard a word. Lamont said he hasn't spoken with anyone from the Red Sox front office since his trip to New York on Wednesday to meet with Red Sox chairman Tom Warner and doesn't know "what their time frame is right now." 

I don't know what direction the Red Sox are going to go here, but it'd be a shame if we lost our "best" Sunday Night Baseball analyst before he bestowed us more nuggets like this, and this, and this, and this. Personally, I'm pulling for Gene Lamont. 

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In what may be one of the better live broadcasting follies of the year, CBS focused in on/borderline stalked San Diego Chargers kicker Nick Novak as he prepared for a potential game-winning kick in the final minute. And by preparing, I mean taking a covert leak with the help of a wingman/equipment trainer. While it's possible there is another explanation, the footage below seems to be pretty convincing:

Novak was not called upon to kick a field goal at the end of regulation, but did miss a 50+ yard try in the waning moments of overtime, setting up the Broncos and you-know-who with great field possession. The Broncos and Tebow ended up capitalizing, setting up an interesting blog chatter showdown as TebowMania will now have to fight for attention with Novak's whiz.

With guys not wanting to go back to the locker room (especially the kicker) and not wanting to just piss in their pants (probably hard to pass off as "sweat" when you're the kicker), Novak improvised. Frankly, if it wasn't for CBS, I think he would have gotten away with it. Alas, it didn't work.

I would imagine a lot of us can sympathize with the scenario, although the ridiculous need to urinate is typically the problem of the elderly or drunken man. I guess that Gatorade was just too damn good to pass up and Novak was apprehensive about attempting a very important kick with the thought of desperately needing to pee on his mind. 

The announcers never acknowledged the scene and I am guessing they just didn't see it because it's too funny to really ignore without even a chuckle.

The million dollar question: Is he just unleashing the stream on the grass, dirt, or drain, or was he containing with a cup?

(Photo via Sports Grid)

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