What's the meaning of life? Who's my father? Am I gonna get sick? Does Tim Tebow really exist?

For centuries, people have turned to one man for life's great mysteries -- like Spencer Hawes averaging 15 points, 12 rebounds, and over two blocks per 36 minutes -- and that man is ... Philadelphia 76ers analyst Malik Rose?

If you're not familiar with the Chappelle's Show skit, that could've been construed as a really awkward comment by Rose and may or may not have caught his Emmy winner sidekick Marc Zumoff off guard a little bit. But if you caught it, then you likely enjoyed it as much as Sixers' fans are enjoying their current little five game winning streak. 

I have a few questions for the Negro-damus. Malik Rose, why did Eric Snow fall asleep during a broadcast last year? Malik Rose, why do the Pistons suck so bad? Malik Rose, whatever happened to Geena Davis? 

H/T - Buzz on Broad

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Hill & Schlereth... or is it Schlereth & Hill?  Whatever the case, the random pairing of SportsCenter anchor Mike Hill and NFL analyst Mark Schlereth are debuting tonight on ESPN Radio as the new primetime show weeknights from 7PM-10PM.  There's a fancy video up on ESPN's PR propaganda website blog introducing listeners to the new pairing.

Great, so from what I gathered from that video the show will be part barber shop, part Alaskan fishing trip.  For some reason, the decision makers at ESPN Radio have decided their latest offereing absolutely has to fit into the mold of Mike & Mike by combining one ex-jock with one non-descript anchor.  Another "Odd Couple" premise, how original!  But, can Hill & Schlereth develop the chemistry of Greeny & Golic?  Who knows.  Mike & Mike isn't the gold standard of sports radio by any stretch.  But, they've been a success by appealing to a broad range of sports fans, even if their old, campy schtick and vanilla opinions doesn't motivate most passionate sports fans.

So why would this pairing of Hill & Schlereth succeed in replicating the formula? Personally, I find Mark Schlereth to be one notch below Trent Dilfer on the totem pole amongst ESPN analysts.  Schlereth is barely tolerable when he's talking NFL on TV or making appearances on ESPN Radio.  Will anyone nationally want to listen to his inflated views and ill-informed opinions for three hours?  Can he talk about anything besides football and his son's baseball career?  Mike Hill has actually impressed me when I've heard him on ESPN Radio on SportsCenter in the evenings, but why saddle him by making him play second fiddle to Schlereth?

On a larger scale, Hill & Schlereth could be doomed to be another bland radio copycat.  For once, ESPN had a chance to be bold and develop a new Dan Patrick or Scott Van Pelt.  Instead, they've decided to go to an overused formula once again.  The new pairing likely won't be able to fill the intelligent shoes of Brian Kenny, who left his primetime radio show and ESPN as a whole to go to MLB Network.  But, I'm sure it will be heavy on formulaic jokes and hijinx centered around the kooky chemistry between a washed up athlete and a hip sports anchor...

It wasn't too long ago that MLB took the somewhat controversial step of adding a Wild Card play in game for both leagues.  This extra game was spawned to create a true one game playoff and add some extra spice to what could be pedestrian Wild Card races.  With the memorable drama of the last day of the regular season this past year and the usual drama of a one game playoff to make the postseason (ahem, Chip Caray), baseball instituted the new play in games.  The merits of a one game playoff between two Wild Card teams after the 162 game season has been heavily debated and certainly has its detractors.

According to Sports Business Journal, MLB is looking to rush the new playoff system to incorporate it into the 2012 season.  With MLB's main contract with Fox coming up soon, the question naturally arises as to which network might televise the new play in games.  Turner Sports has televised playoff tiebreakers in the past and SBJ reckons Turner would be in line to televise the new play in games...

Under the league’s media contracts, Turner has held the right to carry tie-breaking games at the end of the regular season. Those rights came into play most recently when Minnesota and Detroit played for the AL Central Division crown in 2009. 

In accordance with Turner’s contract, media industry sources expect the network to land the rights to the new round of play-in games, but they are waiting to hear definitively that the games are covered by Turner’s current deal.

Here's hoping the new MLB play in games aren't put on Tru TV like the NCAA Tournament's play in games.  One has to think if these games were somehow put on ESPN if they would benefit from the 24/7 hype machine Bristol is capable of creating.  TBS's postseason baseball coverage has drastically improved throughout the life of their contract, though and baseball fans would probably be content either way as long as it doesn't go to Fox.

The striking element to me out of these new playoff games is the motivation for MLB in launching these play in games.  The fairness of the play in games, or lack thereof, has been well documented.  Also, the way baseball has struggled in postseason ratings without the Yanks or the Sawx has been well documented.  The fact that MLB is trying to move the 2012 schedule around and implement the new postseason immediately tells me the sport is desperate to create some extra juice in spite of how flawed the system may be.  Is MLB sacrificing the sanctity of their regular season in a desperation move to create some sense of "win or go home" excitement?  Whatever opinion you have, at least we all know Bud Selig will have his finger on the pulse of what baseball needs for another two years.  Hooray...

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The ratings for this weekend's NFL games are in, and one thing is clear from looking at them: America loves Tim Tebow.

Sunday's Steelers-Broncos game drew an insane 25.9 rating, which was the highest for an NFL wild card playoff games since the Oilers and Seahawks playoff game in the 1987 season. It might have been more than just Tebow, because the game drew a 56.2 in Pittsburgh compared to just a 49.0 in Denver, both of which are insane numbers.  That means over half the homes in Pittsburgh were tuned into the game.  An average of 42.3 million people tuned into the game according to CBS, which is just shy of the last State of the Union Address.

As for the rest of the NFL playoffs, it was a mixed bag. Sunday's Giants-Falcons game, which turned into a blowout in the second half, drew just an 18.9, the lowest for a wild card game on Fox since 2008. The pair of NBC games, Lions-Saints and Bengals-Texans, were also down compared to last year's games, The Bengals-Texans game was down 16% from last year, and couldn't crack a 40 rating in either market. As for the Lions-Saints game, it was still down, albeit only 7% from last year and 2% from 2010. New Orleans and Detroit both supported their teams though, with New Orleans pulling in a 58.2 rating (which beats both the Pittsburgh and Denver numbers), and Detroit coming in at a solid 41.1.

Just one more note about Tebow and the ratings to add to the irony factor of everything. We all saw how Tebow threw for 316 yards, and how that just seemed appropriate, right?

The quarter hour overrun for the game that featured the game-winning touchdown from Tebow to Demaryius Thomas on the first play from scrimmage did a 31.6 rating. Now that's just a little too eerie.

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Rule #1 in the athletic sport of bowling has to be “when completing a wind up, make sure to LET GO of the ball.”

Josh Blanchard, a rookie in the Pro Bowling world, apparently did not want to follow that rule as he made one of the most embarrassing, but yet entertaining, gaffes of this new year.

While in the 9th frame with a score of 121, it’s clear Josh was having a bad day. Number 1, if you are a professional bowler, a 9th frame score of 121 is dreadful. But what’s worse is to create the rookie moment of the season at the World Championship qualifier by having his fingers get stuck in the ball, stepping over the foul line onto the slick lane, and falling only to land in the gutter.

As if that wasn’t enough, announcer Rob Stone (who's leaving ESPN bowling, etc. for Fox's soccer coverage) decides to rub salt in the wound by responding with shouting “OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS” and then follow that up by stating the obvious, [Josh went] “from bad to worse to miserable.”

Thankfully, the only thing that came away hurt was Josh’s pride. Here’s to hoping that he can pick himself up (literally) from this mishap and carry on his pro career.

Until then, the internet laughs at your expense...

H/T Deadspin

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Across the pond, the biggest story in sports is the return of soccer hero Thierry Henry to former team Arsenal of the English Premier League.  Henry, currently of the NY Red Bulls of MLS, returned to glory helping Arsenal defeat Leeds in the FA Cup 3rd Round while on loan from the American side.  Heck, the fact that a current MLS player won an important game in England's most prestigious knockout tournament should be a big story on this side of the pond, as well.

Instead, the most talked about clip from the Arsenal/Leeds game may be the following video. Before the match, former Arsenal defender Martin Keown is discussing the match with Robbie Savage, once named the dirtiest player in the EPL.  Hey, it's English Rodney Harrison!  While Keown is about to answer a question, he's rudely interrupted by a stray shot.  True pro that he is, he shakes it off without much bother.  Then again, it's probably not the first time he's taken a ball off the old coconut.

After seeing a cricket commentator suffer this close call and a cricket cameraman wipe out on a Segway, it'll be interesitng to see how the next gaffe from overseas tries to top ones we've already seen.  At this rate, we could start a new weekly feature now that the Dickies and Pammies are on hiatus.  Meanwhile, let's try to find a way for someone to nail Trent Dilfer with several dozen warm-up throws next year on Monday Night Countdown.  

[Daily Mail]

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Former Saints and Falcons QB Bobby Hebert doesn't give a hoot about the social conventions of being a media personality as a local radio host in New Orleans. As seen in the picture above and the video below, Hebert seems to cherish breaking the most sacred rule of the press box: no cheering.

After an absolute train wreck of a Championship Game, in addition to his son T-Bob Hebert losing his starting role on the offensive line for LSU this season, Hebert once again decided to push the boundaries of proper media etiquette by subjecting Les Miles to 48 seconds of rambling and venting that was nudged towards a conclusion as the moderator asked, "Do you have a question?"

Frankly speaking, I thought Miles was going to tell him to eff off 20 seconds in. Showing good composure, Miles kept calm and even answered Hebert's drawn out question although I'd imagine he was stewing from the line of questioning.

After the jump is the video of the exchange thanks to Youtube user MgoDisney with the transcript below thanks to USA Today along with some tweets from media members who were a combination of entertained and appalled. 

It looks like Charles Barkely appeals to more than just middle-aged men and Professional Basketball fans.

Last Saturday night Sir Charles hosted SNL for the third time, and viewers tuned in.  Despite the broadcast being delayed more than 15 minutes because of the Lions-Saints NFL playoff game going over a little bit, it still resulted in the highest ratings for the show since January 2011. The show drew a 7.4 rating, just below the Jim Carrey/Black Keys 7.8 rating from last January 8, 2011. Not bad at all for a sports announcing personality.

If you missed our post yesterday, make sure to check out the Barkley skit for the "Post-Game Translator App."  It's high comedy.

And then here's Barkley again, mocking Shaq this time. Pretty well done, if I say so myself:

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The Hall of Fame announced today that former Reds shortstop Barry Larkin will be the only inductee in the Class of 2012 alongside the late Ron Santo.  Larkin was a 12-time All-Star for the Reds, the winner of the 1995 NL MVP Award, and is one of a dying breed.  He played all 19 years of his career with the Cincinnati Reds.  Larkin had Here's what he had to say about the induction courtesy of USA Today:

"I'm at a loss of words for this time," said Larkin. "I'm incredibly, incredibly moved by this experience, so humbled by being newest member of the Hall of Fame.

"I don't know how things changed, but I am so pleased and happy with everything. I was really surprised by the 86%, but I am so thankful for everyone who voted for me and supported me."

Larkin crossed the 75% threshold needed from voters with an impressive 86.4% vote total, up from just over 60% the year prior.  Jack Morris was the next highest player on the list with 66.7%. Jeff Bagwell and Lee Smith also had over 50%.  It's truly a deserving honor for one of the most underrated players to play the game, who has turned into a very good analyst on television.  (You can listen to our podcast with Barry from early October where he touched on the Hall and other topics here.)

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Big Time Timmy Jim came through in the clutch once again as he connected with Demaryius Thomas for an improbable 80-yard touchdown pass on the opening play of overtime to clinch the Broncos victory. The Broncos overcame a late Steelers comeback and referee Ron Winters lengthy explanation of the new playoff OT rules. I'm ashamed to admit this, but I missed this play live as I flipped to hockey during the commercial break before OT started because I thought a Tebow 80-yard pass would be the last thing to happen in the few seconds that I missed. Fortunately, my neighbor's shrieking through the walls alerted me to flip back immediately. Previously we posted Nantz' call, now we give to you Dave Logan from Broncos radio 850-KOA's call.

"THE CROWD HAS LOST THEIR MINDS" is the obvious highlight to me. I know I did. I immediately logged onto my Facebook, Twitter, Friendster, MySpace and WUPHF accounts and updated all of my status' as "TEBOWWWWWWWW!1!!1!!" to let everyone know what just happened. Tebow advancing in the playoffs sets up an exciting week of Tebowcenter and pundits trolling nonstop. The Broncos will get a rematch with the Patriots next Saturday night in Foxboro.