Vote For Your Week 12 Pammies Nominees

Written by Matt Yoder on .

 

pamwardchronicles
It's a wide open race for first this week for the Pammy nomin... ahh, f*ck it.  Corso's going to win.  Here are your Week 12 nominees anyways...

1) "When you pull out early there is embarrassment" - Danny Kanell (via steve5643)

2) "NC State Leading BOSTON COLLEGE 30-6 in the 3rd Quarter." - Pam Ward (via sctvman) That's all well and good, except NC State was playing Clemson.

3) "He's hotter than July in the month of November." - Mark Jones (via ak482)

4) "Scoreless first half in Champaign." - Beth Mowins (via BloggerJustinF) at the end of the 1st quarter.

5) "You know where they practice that? practice." - Rod Gilmore (via bjo109)

6) "They should take as long as this takes." - Ed Cunningham (via Dascenzo)

7) "Giuseppi, that was play action." - Matt Millen (via Sctvman) to Joe Tessitore.  Given Millen's history with ethnic humor...

8) "he has thrown three picks, but no interceptions" - Pam Ward (via sctvman)

9) "The extra point good by Dustin Hopkins..." - Mark Jones (via DevsFan30) as Hopkins kicks a 26-yard field goal from the right hash to give FSU a 10-7 lead.

10) "If you seen this coming, send us a letter." - Mike Patrick (via KSJ49) hello, 1987.

11) "Mike O'Cain decided to spit the football out to his WRs." - Jesse Palmer (via sctvman)

12) "Mario Dovell gives a laissez-faire effort." - Ray Bentley [video]

13) "The thought of a child not having a toy at Christmas is simply unimaginable." - Mike Patrick (via CK29). BUT WHAT'S BRITNEY DOING THIS CHRISTMAS!!!

14) "That looked like a clean muff." - Gus Johnson (via NCAAFB_LikeABos)

15) "Ah, f*ck it!" - Lee Corso [video]

Vote For Your Week 12 Pammy Nominees! (vote for up to five)

The winners will come Wednesday morning.  Games are taking place all through the extended Thanksgiving weekend as the regular season comes to a close so make sure you stay tuned for the Pammies!


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Real Tweets From Real People - David Beckham And The MLS Cup Final

Written by Matt Yoder on .

beckhamgalaxy2

Major League Soccer's dream finally became a reality last night as the Los Angeles Galaxy won the MLS Cup, defeating Random MLS Team That Wasn't LA Galaxy 1-0.  But really, the night was all about one man - David Beckham.  Yes, the man that was supposed to take MLS mainstream.  How'd that work out?  Becks can't be faulted for a lack of effort, I suppose.  (Wait, maybe he can.)  After all, he committed so much time and energy to growing the sport in America while playing for AC Milan in Italy all those months.  With injuries and his desires to keep going back to Europe, Beckham has been a major disappointment as the face of MLS in relation to his kingly arrival.  With Beckham's massive five year deal with the Galaxy expiring and rumors of a deal with PSG in France on the horizon, last night's MLS Cup Final may have been the last game for Becks in an LA uniform.  As a frequent attendee of MLS games, there's a lot more I could say about Beckham and the league, but I'll only say "meh."

So in last night's MLS Cup Final, ESPN tried to cram five years of hope and hype of the Beckham Era into a two hour lovefest.  The admiration John Harkes had for every step Beckham took on the pitch made Skip Bayless seem lukewarm on Tim Tebow and even the great Ian Darke fell into the storybook Beckham "drama."  It was the Hollywood ending to Becks' time in Los Angeles that MLS so desperately craved and the television coverage was more than happy to slurp it up.  

That's where we come in.  As always, these are Real Tweets from Real People...

GSElitist John Harkes has been kicked out of every silent retreat he's attended. Fact.
cmeidt Because of John Harkes I am gonna learn Spanish so I don't have to listen to him.
StuTNB David Beckham chases after a ball, is fouled, is "brilliant" according to Harkes. Easily pleased tossbasket.
YanksAreComing John Harkes: "It's David Beckham. If he feels it, ya gotta let him do it." Why soccer in America?? I say why not.
devindrumheller Watching the MLS Cup final, John Harkes describes David Beckham as "brilliant" for … running? Really?!
dkurtenbach Harkes should go to the doctor, he's been thinking of Beckham for the past four hours.

Randy_Narine Yo Ian Darke, stop setting up John Harkes to go off on his hard-on for Beckham #MLSCup
ClayWar Wow Ian Darke - you win the top prize for Beckham butt-kissing this year. A new MLS award - good job!!!
MarkHenty "Beckham has been the best player on the pitch by some way" by Ian Darke. FFS! So sick of this total wankfest 60% passing is not great!
BenMcKee Ian Darke as Beckham prepared a free kick: "Is this a moment of destiny for him?" Beckham biffs it into a wall. #ClassicCall #MLSCup
robbiebaum MLS to ESPN: "make sure to talk a whole lot about Beckham so people think this thing was a good idea. Thanks."
DaxMcCarty11 #MLSCup 1st half thoughts: John Harkes likes David Beckham and thinks he is good at soccer.

jamessharmanEspn setting up a sick Beckham winner to compare to Jordan's 38pts with the flu. Marketing genius. #hero
RedMancunia The ESPN pundit just called David Beckham 'the Prom King.' What have I signed myself up for tonight?!
Kingrich3 I wish the ESPN commentators stop talking like the MLS is Gonna fail is Beckham leaves.
Gustavo_Destro First two question to Donovan (match MVP) are about Beckham. Like, ESPN doesn't even try to disguise it, do they?
tweetcolintweet MLS final was so whack. Dear espn, not everyone wants to hear about David Beckham every minute
NinjaPancakes #mlscup ESPN announcers should just get the foreplay over with and have sex with Beckham already.
PitchPass David Beckham is playing harder than any player ever in the history of sport. #harkes
alexwarneke ESPN: Welcome back to the Becham Half. The Beckhams will kick off attacking the Beckham goal. The score is tied, Beckham to Beckham.

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Deion Sanders Describing LeGarrette Blount's Incredible Run: "Six People Trying To Hit That Blount!"

Written by Brady Green on .

LeGarrette Blount's 54-yard PutDaTeamOnMyBack (nsfw) run might be one of the highlights of the NFL football season. On the NFL networks highlight show, Deion Sanders delivered a call almost as hilarious as Blount's run was spectacular. After Sanders squealed in delight after delivering his "SIX PEOPLE TRYING TO HIT THAT BLOUNT" line, Eisen went all Nancy Reagan in response. Neon Deion decided not to heed the hosts caution and repeat the same line, this time even more exaggerated during the replay. The Packers were able to hit that Blount enough as Green Bay kept their undefeated season alive by defeating Tampa Bay, 35-26.

At Awful Announcing, we'd like to remind our readers that there is "no hope with dope." Zack Morris got with Kelly Kapowski and can stop time and that phrase rhymes so it would be crazy to argue against him.

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Straight Outta Stockton Week 11

Written by Matt Yoder on .

dick_stockton

Leave your Dickies comments throughout the day here with our open thread.  You can check the comments below and our Twitter timeline for all submissions.  You can also tweet us by using the hashtag #SOSAA to send in quotes.  Then, we'll be back on Tuesdays with 15-20 nominees and you'll vote on our Top 10 for the week.  SOS winners will be announced Thursdays with updated standings.  Below you can find the links to last week's Top 10 and this week's NFL announcing schedule with broadcast maps.

Week 10 Dickies Winners & Standings

Week 11 NFL Announcing Schedule 

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"I don't know why you don't use the timeout right away there." - Mike Mayock (via bmitchelf) with no timeouts left #SOSAA

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Erin Andrews Gets Gatorade Bath-Update With Video

Written by Ben Koo on .

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Update: We've tracked down video of how Andrews got splashed. At the bottom of this post.

And no she wasn't wearing a white shirt as everyone's immediate response on Twitter and FB has almost uniformly been "What color shirt was she wearing?"

At the end of what was an instant classic game, Baylor threw a wrench in Oklahoma's BCS Championship Game plans via a game winning touchdown with 8 seconds left.  The end result was euphoric bedlam in Waco.

While at this time there is no video of that actual dousing (we're dying to know who, how, and when), Andrews took this video after the game and posted it to her Youtube account and later tweeted the link out. What a social media savvy foxy lady. As you can see below, she was in pretty good spirits about the unexpected celebration.

   

Kudos to Andrews for not going all Tim McCarver about the incident. This seemed to have gone mostly unnoticed until Andrews mentioned it on Twitter as she seemed to embrace the moment. I'm sure some folks will cry foul there.

If anyone has a link to the video, we'd love to see it. I tuned away from the game shortly after her interview with RG3. Looking at Twitter it seems she ended up in a "crazy mosh pit of fans" that had some worried about her safety. Shortly after... boom city.

Some fans tear down the goal posts, others riot, but apparently in Waco, you find the insanely famous sideline reporter and give her a Gatorade bath. For now, this innovation in celebration seems to have the lowest percentage chance of being sprayed with pepper spray so maybe there is something to this. 

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F It: Here's Lee Corso's F Bomb On GameDay

Written by Packey on .

I was wondering when Corso was going to go completely senile and start muttering inappropriate things on TV.

I'm just glad there WASN'T a delay:

 Of course, this nearly blew up the internet to smithereens. Robert Flores may have said it best

Lee Corso doing his best to blow up twitter. It's as if Tim Tebow won the Super Bowl. Throwing to Terrell Owens. W a Brett Favre jersey

Lee Corso read a scripted apology after a commercial break during the Michigan/Nebraska game. No need to apologize, Lee - that was awesome.

**Update - Here's video of said scripted apology...

(Thanks to everyone who sent the tip. Video via SB Nation)

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Your 2011 Pam Ward Chronicles Week 12

Written by Packey on .

pamward

Week 12 announcing schedule

Week 11 results and updated standings

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"Mike O'Cain decided to spit the football out to his WRs." - Jesse Palmer (via Sctvman)

"Mario Dovell gives a laissez-faire effort." - Ray Bentley (video)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

E-Mail From Texas A&M AD Raises More Questions About ESPN, Longhorn Network, And Realignment

Written by Matt Yoder on .

billbyrne

Remember that innocent comment from Boston College athletic director Gene DeFilippo that said, "ESPN told us what to do" regarding realignment?  Well, an e-mail released from Texas A&M athletic director Bill Byrne (right) dated July 21st of this year takes those conspiracy theories to the next level.  The subect is entitled "Big-12 3rd tier issues or: Death by a thousand cuts."  Alllll righty then!!!  Of course, A&M would would officially leave the Big 12 for the SEC two months later.  

With the Big 12 on the verge of annihilation again this summer, there were many issues at stake - namely, consternation over the elephant in the room, Texas' marriage with ESPN via the Longhorn Network.  Byrne's e-mail also sheds light on the complicated nature of television rights and the relationship of the Big 12, ESPN, Fox, and member institutions.  However, it's clear after reading the e-mail that ESPN's conflict of interest with the Longhorn Network may have been an even bigger albatross than we imagined.  Among the highlights of Byrne's e-mail, which you can read in full here...

"The first year of cable system is the critical startup time. So far no cable systems have signed up. According to DeLoss (Texas AD DeLoss Dodds), tu (Texas) contract calls for one game with best efforts for a 2nd game.  ESPN pushing hard to get clearances and inventory. Threatened Tech. DeLoss acknowledges ESPN rep did that but he stopped them from doing that any more. Privately Says he can control ESPN, publicly says he can't."

So an ESPN representative threatened Texas Tech with putting a game on the Longhorn Network?  What exactly did they threaten Tech with?  Negative press?  Sticking Tech games on ESPNU at bad times?  Sending Craig James to Lubbock?  Did the Texas athletic director really have to stop ESPN from threatening other schools?  It gets better...

This Week In Screengrab Snafus - 11/18

Written by Matt Yoder on .

tebowNFL.comPR_SportsGrd

After last night's improbable victory, Tebow looks like they will continue to rise in the NFL.com Power Rankings.  Right now, there's nothing save for a Mayan apocalypse that can stop Tebow now... except for maybe a team that has a better quarterback than Mark Sanchez.

Maybe Tebow Time could be brought down a couple notches if there was actually an NBA season to talk about.  (OK, let's not kid ourselves, it wouldn't.)  Instead of NBA games, which ESPN is still apparently hopeful of showing, why not MORE TEBOW!!  Come on, I think Bristol is really behind on that story...

ESPNBAsked

Who knew MLB realignment would be so radical?  The Astros are moving to the AL West as is another new MLB team...

texasragers

I'm not sure which one here is the snafu in this Washington State-Gonzaga game, but a 12-0 run in 22 seconds is impressive enough.  When it happens and you've only scored one point in the game, why that's downright incredible...

washstbball

And finally, well... I should just let these last two speak for themselves...

psuosuchildren

 

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That was your week in Screengrab Snafus, next time be careful out there!

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Chael Sonnen Stars In The Biggest Trainwreck Of An Interview You Will Ever See

Written by Matt Yoder on .

UFC fighter Chael Sonnen appeared on Off The Record in Canada on TSN for an interview with host Michael Landsberg.  Normally, this wouldn't be cause for news.  However, what resulted was the most laughable attempt at a sports interview in the history of human beings answering questions from each other.  In fact, the first attempt at Landsberg's interview with Sonnen goes so bad they attempted a reshoot.  The whole problem revolves around Landsberg suggesting Sonnen "backed down" from his ridiculous proposition towards UFC Middleweight Champion Anderson Silva as his opening question.

Sonnen is a bit of a loose cannon, but this, THIS video makes a Mike Tyson breakdown look normal.  This video makes Jim Rome's sit down with Jim Everett look like Inside The Actor's Studio.  The following interview is such a colossal clusterf*ck that it just has to be seen to be believed.  After that opening exchange, the interview takes a trip into Bizarro World and never comes back until Sonnen finally walks off his remote location during Take #2.  Among the highlights from Sonnen...

"You might want to take the bass out of your tone, I'm not sure you know who you're talking to here."

"What show am I on here, is this for public radio?"

"Should we just redo this, or do you just want to go on the air and look like a fool?"

"Is that how you guys do business in Canada?  'Cause in my country that created business, offers expire... you guys probably don't do that in socialism, but in America, in a capitalistic society, that's how things work."

I suppose Chael Sonnen has never heard of the Silk Road or any other operation of business pre-1776.  Good for him.  And those quotes are only from the first attempt at the interview.  It gets better in Part II...

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