I had anticipated taking a larger look at all the announcing from the day after New Year's Day... until the Fiesta Bowl last night.  That was when Matt Millen had a largely exclusive broadcast window for the nation to revel in his football knowledge, weird logic, mixed up cliches, and overall ineptitude as an announcer.  As I wrote on Twitter last night, it was an epic performance in the annals of AA - on par with what Vince Young did to USC in the National Championship Game.  Before your tweets about Matt Millen, here are just some of the announcing gems he laid on the nation last night.  Confucius would be proud...

"He bores you with completions, he bores you with efficiency," on Andrew Luck.

"You can't make a small mistake, like falling down... which is a big mistake."

Calling Jesse Palmer - "Jesse the Body."

"Sometimes you have to lose one for the Gipper."

"They'll both do well at the next level. BRANDON WEEDEN IS 28 YEARS OLD!"

"It's not about the decision making (of Luck), it's the decision making under pressure."

"He's hungry. You feed him."

"It's strength vs weakness on both sides, but it's the weakness who is stronger.. is the team that will prevail"

"When he gets inside of a guy and bends his hips, he's pretty good"

"That was helmet to helmet... I like it."

That's a complete list of Pammies quotes all by himself!  Liking helmet to helmet hits?  Being bored by Andrew Luck's performance?  Insulting the legacy of Jesse "The Body" Ventura?!?!  What was ESPN thinking giving Matt Millen the best bowl matchup outside of the national championship game on the night of January 2nd?  Stanford v Oklahoma State will certainly be memorable for being a dramatic classic, but it's also memorable for us to remember what college football fans think of ESPN's #2 analyst.  

Is it too late for Millen to enter the Texas Senate race too?  As always, these are Real Tweets from Real People...

It's the NHL's biggest event of the year, viewed by hockey fans across the nation. A verbal slip up was bound to happen and of course, it happened before the national anthems were even sung. Check out loathed NBC analyst Mike Milbury call the Rangers, commonly known as the "Blue shirts," the "Blue shits." Notice Jeremy Roenick tap his stick on the ice right after the miscue. Milbury is pretty reviled among hockey fans, so a lot of us are relishing the moment a day later.

It's playoff time, folks. Who you got?

Wild Card Games

Saturday, January 7

Cincinnati Bengals @ Houston Texans NBC 4:30PM - Tom Hammond, Mike Mayock, Alex Flanagan
Detroit Lions @ New Orleans Saints NBC 8PM - Al Michaels, Cris Collinsworth, Michele Tafoya

Sunday, January 8

Atlanta Falcons @ New York Giants FOX 1PM - Joe Buck, Troy Aikman, Pam Oliver
Pittsburgh Steelers @ Denver Broncos CBS 4:30PM - Jim Nantz, Phil Simms

NFL Divisional Playoffs

Saturday, January 14

New Orleans/Atlanta/NYG @ San Francisco 49ers FOX 4:30PM - Kenny Albert, Daryl Johnston, Tony Siragusa
Cincinnati/Pittsburgh/Denver @ New England Patriots CBS 8PM - Jim Nantz, Phil Simms

Sunday, January 15

Houston/Pittsburgh/Denver @ Baltimore Ravens CBS 1PM - Greg Gumbel, Dan Dierdorf
Detroit/Atlanta/NYG @ Green Bay Packers FOX 4:30PM - Joe Buck, Troy Aikman, Pam Oliver

NFL Conference Finals

Sunday, January 22

AFC Championship Game CBS 3PM - Jim Nantz, Phil Simms

NFC Championship Game FOX 6:30PM - Joe Buck, Troy Aikman, Pam Oliver

Sunday, February 5 - Lucas Oil Field, Indianapolis, IN

NBC 6:30PM - Al Michaels, Cris Collinsworth, Michele Tafoya

H/T Sammy

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Here we go, it's the final Straight Outta Stockton vote of 2011... even though we're officially in 2012.  Realistically, the battle is for second with Brian Billick looking to pass Phil Simms as Dick Stockton takes his victory lap.  Next week, as we did for the Pammies, we'll have a vote for the Dicky of the Year with all the best NFL announcer quotes from 2011.  Here are your Week 17 nominees...

1) "He was inside the circle of love." - Dan Dierdorf on a punt fair catch (via ConnorKiesel)

2) "That's been the problem with the Mets." - Greg Gumbel (via matt_08) announcing Dolphins/Jets.

3) "No one wants to come to New England to play Greg Williams and his defense" - Joe Buck not knowing where New Orleans is. (via jleimer)

4) "No one works harder, but no one knows less about this game than I do." - Brian Billick (via ClarkbarTweets).  C'mon, Billick actually said this?

5) "When you give [Michael Turner] gaping holes, he's going to hurt some people." - Dick Stockton... Ok then. (via sctvman)

6) "Eric Decker is the best." - Phil Simms (via bjo109).  Umm... ok?

7) "I've always said the difference between a 10-6 team and a 6-10 team isn't much" - Rich Gannon (via SmittyK)

8) "2 episodes of Ryan's Hope(less)."- Al Michaels on the Giants beating both Ryan Brothers (via sjwest86).  Punny.

9) "Is it really possible? 2012." - Dan Dierdorf, amazed we made it to the year 2012. (via mattyzucks)

10) "That last play they had five offensive linemen in for extra protection" - Randy Cross (via wyattgywon)

11) "Let's take a look at Jared Allen's sack." - Tony Siragusa

12) "Misdeception" - Brian Billick (via J_C25)

13) "People are really going to want Jordy Nelson when he becomes a free agent." - Brian Billick.  He signed an extension before the year. (via Enrico_Palazzo_)

14) "There's a lot of wiggle on this guy." - Phil Simms (via SchmanthonyP)

15) "Oakland lost to the Heat, *pause* and maybe the Dolphins too"- Marv Albert (via JayAyyyy) moving on to NBA season.

16) "Cincy's the wild card, the Jets are out of the playoffs, and Cincy has their playoff hopes dashed as well." - Curt Menefee (via A_Goch)

17) "That was a penalty and that doesn't count, but that was also one of the most brilliant plays I've seen in a long time." - Cris Collinsworth (via CMehring)

Vote For Your Week 17 Dickies Nominees! (vote for up to five)

The winners and final standings for the first ever Dickies Awards will be announced later this week!

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What better way to start 2012 on the right foot than with another awkward apology from an ESPN personality!  Evidently, Mike Ditka wasn't watching fellow ESPN contemporary Matt Millen during the 2010 NFL Draft.  Then, Matt Millen had to awkwardly come back on air with his tail between his legs to apologize for calling Ron Jaworski a "polack."  Yesterday, during ESPN's morning SportsCenter, Mike Ditka said something to the effect of Colts QB Dan Orlovsky having "a good polack name."  If you want to get nitpicky about it, I suppose Ditka didn't call Orlovsky a "polack" but you can bet that's still one of the hundreds of words that will cause ESPN's PC siren to go off any time it's said on the airwaves.  As for Ditka's apology, I'll give it an 8.5 on the Lee Corso Apology Scale.  Happy New Year from Bristol HR! 

(via Ride The Pine)

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The holidays are the busiest time of year in the English Premier League calendar and a great time for soccer fans. Sunday, Sunderland upset English Premier League leaders Manchester City 1-0 on an injury time goal in the dying seconds from South Korean striker Ji Dong-Won. Even though there is a hint of offside in Ji's goal, it may prove to be one of the most dramatic moments of the season with a huge impact on the title race. City remains tied with Manchester United at the top of the table, who also suffered a huge upset this weekend against relegation strugglers Blackburn Rovers.

American soccer fans will be very familiar with Martin Tyler as the lead announcer at the 2010 World Cup for ESPN and from his work on the FIFA video games.  While Ian Darke has gained cult status in the USA and become our voice for soccer, Tyler is the more notable name around the world.  Nevertheless, they are simply both brilliant commentators.  And while Martin Tyler may not bring the consistent excitement to his commentary like Ian Darke, but he certainly does in the big moments as shown below.  Here is his call of Ji's gamewinner against Manchester City on Sky Sports in England, an early frontrunner for our favorite clips of 2012...

(h/t themib)

Happy second day of 2012 everyone!  Hope your new year is off to a rockin' start.  Today is your de facto New Year's Day in the sports world with nobody wanting to compete with the NFL on Sunday.  There'ss no shortage of sports on television today as most of the country is taking a holiday.  Today is traditionally all about college football and here's your bowl lineup with announcers...

Noon- TicketCity Bowl: Houston vs. Penn State [ESPNU/ ESPN3] Clay Matvick, Danny Kanell, Allison Williams

1 PM- Outback Bowl: Georgia vs. Michigan State [ABC] Mike Tirico, Jon Gruden, Lisa Salters

1 PM- Capital One Bowl: Nebraska vs. South Carolina [ESPN/ ESPN3] Joe Tessitore, Rod Gilmore, Quint Kessenich

1 PM- TaxSlayer.com Gator Bowl: Florida vs. Ohio State [ESPN2/ ESPN3] Mike Patrick, Craig James Ed Cunningham, Jeannine Edwards

5 PM- Rose Bowl Presented by Vizio: Wisconsin vs. Oregon [ESPN/ ESPN3] Brent Musburger, Kirk Herbstreit, Erin Andrews

8:30 PM- Tostitos Fiesta Bowl: Oklahoma State vs. Stanford [ESPN/ ESPN3] Sean McDonough, Matt Millen, Heather Cox

The premier games will obviously be the Rose Bowl and the Fiesta Bowl.  Although Baylor and Washington lit up the scoreboard at the Alamo Bowl, Oklahoma State and Stanford going head to head may be the most compelling matchup of the entire bowl season (yes, including the national title game rematch).  The afternoon lineup is rather bland to be quite honest, but at least there's no Craig James!!  Yippee!!  2012 is already better than 2011!

Elsewhere, Doc Emrick and Ed Olczyk announce the premier NHL regular season game on the calendar, the Winter Classic on NBC.  The game start has been moved from 1 pm to 3 pm ET because of weather conditions...

3 PM - NHL Winter Classic: Flyers vs Rangers [NBC] Mike Emrick, Ed Olczyk

And if that still isn't your thing, there's a full slate of NBA games on tonight with the NBA League Pass free preview still in effect.  Premier League games and college basketball games also dot the schedule today if you're interested and NBC Sports Network launches as well.  Or, I suppose you could be waiting for the season premiere of The Bachelor. *shudders*

Whatever you're watching today, leave us your comments on the Open Thread or tweet us with the best announcing quotes throughout the day.  Who knows, maybe we'll have a special all encompassing Day After New Year's Day Pammies edition.  The possibilities are there with Matt Millen tonight and Jon Gruden making his annual bowl game cameo.  Enjoy!

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The Outdoor Life Network has come a long way since its beginning in 1995.  From televising fishing shows and the Tour de France as the signature series, to becoming Versus in 2006 and acquiring the NHL as its flagship sport, to now becoming the NBC Sports Network at 4:00 PM ET today.  The official name change happens five months and a day after plans for the launch of NBC Sports Network were officially announced thanks to the Comcast/NBC deal.  

The relaunch was supposed to begin with a Winter Classic postgame show, but with the hockey game being moved from 1:00 to 3:00 because of weather conditions, Versus becomes NBC Sports Network with a (presumably special) edition of NBC Sports Talk.  In the evening, NBC Sports will broadcast a hockey documentary Cold War on Ice: Summit Series ’72 followed by Canucks/Sharks.

As for what programming lies ahead for NBC Sports Network, the Philadelphia Inquirer has a nice compilation of all the live events that will be offered on the new channel...

That lineup should worry NBC execs because it's not exactly the NFL and the NBA.  However, there's enough of a live sports portfolio to at least get off the ground.  The Olympics (and all of the trials that go along with it) will be a huge boost in this first year with the 2012 summer games in London.  NBC is also putting a lot of stock in MLS numbers growing in the same way NHL numbers have risen in their time on Versus/NBC.  Soccer is a growing television power, but MLS has not received the same impressive ratings that international soccer and the EPL have experienced.  NBC Sports President of Programming Jon Miller says the network will also get away from the inane, amateurish programming that held Versus back as told to TV Guide...

"When we took over Versus, there was a lot of programming on the network that we didn't think was consistent with what NBC Sports was about," Miller says. "And so the first thing we did was we jettisoned some properties like Wacked Out Sports and T. Ocho and Sports Soup."

In place of T. Ocho and Jenn Sterger (pour one out today in memory of all those crazy Versus shows) will be heavyweights like Bob Costas, who will bring Costas Tonight monthly and town hall meetings quarterly to the network.  As they were in 2011, NBC will be a major player in any major rights deal that appears on the horizon to load up on live sports programming moving forward.  As much as ESPN's debate shows infuriate viewers, give new President John Skipper credit for going all in acquiring live sports rights.  NBC will be under pressure to get NFL games, make a move for the next MLB contract, or another fashionable sports property.  For now, the NHL will have to carry the mail for NBC.

For as much flak as Versus got for nobody being able to find the channel, NBC Sports Network will launch in 75 million households today.  That's about 3/4 the households that ESPN and ESPN2 are in, so it's not like NBC is beginning this venture from scratch.  But, according to USA Today, less than half of television viewers had heard of Versus.  Yikes.  The NBC/Comcast machine will have to try to change that statistic quickly in the first year.

You can bet the folks in Bristol will also be watching the NBC Sports Network debut closely.  For sports fans generally, this is a good day because competition breeds quality.  NBC stepping up to challenge ESPN will push both networks to be better.  Whichever way the competition breaks, it'll be fascinating to see just how much of a challenge NBC Sports Network can provide ESPN in 2012 and beyond.  Here's the NBC Sports promo for the network's rebirth...

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It's a new year and the last week of Straight Outta Stockton for this NFL season.  College football cedes the spotlight to the pros today with plenty of playoff implications on the last Sunday of the season.  You can check the comments below in the SOS open thread and our Twitter timeline for all submissions.  You can also tweet us by using the hashtag #SOSAA to send in quotes.  Then, we'll be back on Tuesdays with 15-20 nominees and you'll vote on our Top 10 for the week.  SOS winners will be announced Thursdays with the final standings.  Barring something outrageous from Brian Billick or Phil Simms, it looks like Dick Stockton will be our inaugural champion.  Below you can find the links to last week's Top 10 and up to the second standings along with this week's NFL announcing schedule with broadcast maps.  Happy New Year!

Week 16 Dickies Winners & Standings

Week 17 NFL Announcing Schedule (and playoff scenarios)

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In the last moments of 2011, Wagner's Kenny Ortiz produced the best buzzer beater of the year... and maybe the most incredible shot to win a game I have ever seen!  Wagner was tied with Santa Clara 62-62.  With time running out, Ortiz rebounds his teammate's miss that clanks off the side of the backboard.  Falling out of bounds as the horn sounds, Ortiz shoots a rainbow over the backboard and somehow in for the gamewinner.

While the unbelievable shot is one thing, the other amazing element of this clip is the Santa Clara analyst screaming in psychotic denial that the shot should not count.  At least I hope it's the Santa Clara analyst due to the tremendous broadcast journalism on display.  This is one of the best blatant homer slash crazy person announcing rants you will ever hear, including swearing at the referees off mic, but loud enough for it to be picked up over the air...

Here's the glorious transcript:

"No, that's no good!  That's no good!  That's easy!  No, no no no, that's no good!  No good!"

(The refs count the basket)

"NOOOO!!!  NOOOOO!!!"

(the analyst continues his rant presumably off mic)

"That's behind the basket!  That's behind the basket!  That's bullshit!"

No, that was awesome, and the perfect clip to end 2011 in style.

[h/t Adam Amin]

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