Game 6 of the World Series is tonight and to commemorate the occasion, we're doing a running diary for the evening.  What that will entail is basically a smorgasbord of AA's best features - quotes from Joe Buck and Tim McCarver (ala the Pammies), your tweets on the broadcast (ala Real Tweets from Real People), and some interspersed commentary in between.  Just refresh the page throughout the game for a continual dialogue and leave a comment below or tweet us your thoughts/quotes.  Enjoy the game... and try to enjoy the announcing!

Top 1st

"the count is 1-1. That's a little low and now it's 3-1" - Joe Buck (via spadilly)

"And now Michael Young takes a ball.... in for a strike." - Joe Buck (via MagnaCarterLive)

merfster1 It's not amazing that leadoff hitters that walk tend to score, McCarver. Does he know anything about baseball? @awfulannouncing

Bottom 1st

"The Cardinals are hoping to have the intention to get Pujols up there without intentionally walking." - Tim McCarver (via AA)

Lance Berkman homers to make it 2-1 Cards in the bottom of the first.  Joe Buck actually seemed excited for the occasion (for his relative standards)... but I'm sure a large portion of the audience may interpret it as Cardinals homerism...

"The best way to eliminate gray is to keep hitting them like Berkman just hit them … or hit it." - Tim McCarver (via TravHaney)

courtgolf @awfulannouncing most people who talk like Timmy would be institutionalized and tested for dimentia

Top 2nd

Tim refers to Bill Mazeroski's 9th inning Game 7 home run in 1960 as "the shot heard round Pittsburgh."  What a majestic way to describe one of the greatest moments in baseball history. 

Smedindy @awfulannouncing "A good bunt, but not for an American League pitcher". Like a NL pitcher has exemptions for bad bunts?

Speertime23 Tim McCarver makes me want rip my ears off @awfulannouncing

That's a little harsh isn't it?  Ear ripping territory is usually only reserved for Craig James.

Bottom 2nd

There's something so beautiful about Tim McCarver saying "JAI-MAY" Garcia.  In other news, Kinsler doubles into left center to tie the game at 2-2 in the second.  Already Boggs is warming up in the bullpen for the Cards.  Get Ken Rosenthal on the other end of that bullpen phone!!

"you've heard that expression 2nd time thru the lineup; this is the 2nd time the Rangers have faced Jaime Garcia." - Tim McCarver (via JimMcKaysaidso)

At least Joe threw in a little excitement in throwing to commercial...

Top 3rd

Tim actually makes a good point about Carpenter pitching Game 7 of the World Series reflecting on Ken Rosenthal's short report.  See, we're not negative all the time!  

"Chris Carpenter is the unofficial official starting pitcher for tomorrow night."- Tim McCarver (via sjwest86)

On second thought...

eeberlew71 @awfulannouncing 'it was successful because they got to the line of scrimmage and snapped the ball.' Craig James never fails to amaze.

Sorry it was a short inning... had to get in a Craig James quote somewhere tonight!

(Click READ MORE to enjoy all the fun after the jump!)

Ed Note: This article written by Allen Kenney first appeared on Bloguin.com's college football blog Crystal Ball Run.  AA has been quite critical of Poynter's missed opportunities as ESPN ombud and their newest installment on ESPN's role in realignment is no different.  The following article puts their latest effort in the context of ESPN as a larger corporate entity heavily involved with college realignment.  As in the picture above from ESPN.com, if ESPN can hype their own conflicts of interest while promoting Poynter's viewpoint of ESPN "staying loyal to its audience" and Longhorn Network in one stroke, serious questions need to be asked of the ombudsman's role. (-MY)

The Poynter Institute, currently serving as ESPN’s ombudsman, yesterday released its analysis of the World Wide Leader’s role in reshaping the landscape of college athletics and the effect on its news coverage, a critique hotly anticipated by passionate sports fans and media wonks.

As one would expect when dealing with such complicated subject matter, Kelly McBride’s report is broad and winding, touching on a number of moving parts involved in realignment. Early on in the 2,300-word article, however, she lays out the heart of the matter:

“After interviewing executives who negotiate these growing contracts for ESPN, key officials of athletic conferences, NCAA officials and outside analysts, this much is clear: ESPN is acting like the big business it is, strategically locking up its market whenever it makes financial sense. Could that be a problem for the network's credibility as its reporters independently gather information about schools and conferences? Yes.”

In other words, one side of ESPN’s house - the business side seeking to maximize its profits through broadcasting relationships with colleges and the conferences - is creating a problem for the news side charged with practicing objective journalism. So, here comes a lesson in ethics and reporting in the face of a glaring conflict of interest, right?

Not exactly.

Before delving into the journalistic bugaboos presented by realignment, McBride takes great pains to not only rehash the events that led up to the current situations, but to assess ESPN’s involvement. McBride seemingly goes above and beyond the call of duty in attempting to absolve ESPN of blame in all the conference-swapping and bitter break-ups witnessed in the last two years.

Rightfully so. The truth is that while ESPN gives bitter fans a convenient bogeyman when their favorite team ends up on the short end of the realignment stick, ESPN’s role in the neverending realignment drama wouldn’t exist if the universities themselves weren’t tripping over themselves to mine every dollar possible out of college athletics. ESPN may act as a catalyst in realignment, but as McBride notes:

“The increasingly huge amounts of money the network spends on college rights are a primary driver of the domino effect in conference realignment. Is that inappropriate? Only if you think ESPN should be responsible for preserving the traditional values of collegiate athletics.

We'd suggest there should be a lot of other defenders of student athletes in line to do this work before ESPN, starting with college presidents.” 

So, in some way, shape or fashion, ESPN is helping fuel realignment. I think we can all agree on that to some degree. Not really news, but it’s great that we’re on the same page.

Now about that credibility issue you mentioned...

Last week's games sucked? Well, this week's slate is even worse on the surface, save for the Patriots/Steelers, which is of course being announced by friends Jim Nantz and co. FOX's top crew, with Thom Brennaman filling in for Joe Buck, will be in Toronto for the Redskins/Bills, exactly where that game needs to be.

Personally, I'll be getting my Tebowing on, hoping the Lions don't lose a 3rd straight vs. Denver and leave a really bad taste in the mouth heading into the bye.

Speaking of byes: Atlanta Falcons, Chicago Bears, Green Bay Packers, Oakland Raiders, New York Jets, and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are all on one this week.

Your broadcast maps can be found here via The 506.

Sunday, October 30

Miami Dolphins @ New York Giants (CBS 1PM) Greg Gumbel, Dan Dierdorf

Indianapolis Colts @ Tennessee Titans (CBS 1PM) Kevin Harlan, Solomon Wilcots

Jacksonville Jaguars @ Houston Texans (CBS 1PM) Marv Albert, Rich Gannon

Minnesota Vikings @ Carolina Panthers (FOX 1PM) Kenny Albert, Daryl Johnston, Tony Siragusa

Arizona Cardinals @ Baltimore Ravens (FOX 1PM) Sam Rosen, Brian Billick, Laura Okmin

New Orleans Saints @ St. Louis Rams (FOX 1PM) Chris Myers, Tim Ryan, Jennifer Hale

Washington Redskins v. Buffalo Bills - @ Toronto (FOX 4PM) Thom Brennaman, Troy Aikman, Pam Oliver

Detroit Lions @ Denver Broncos (FOX 4PM) Dick Stockton, John Lynch, Jaime Maggio

New England Patriots @ Pittsburgh Steelers (CBS 4:15) Jim Nantz, Phil Simms

Cleveland Browns @ San Francisco 49ers (CBS 4:15) Ian Eagle, Dan Fouts

Cincinnati Bengals @ Seattle Seahawks (CBS 4:15) Bill Macatee, Steve Tasker

Dallas Cowboys @ Philadelphia Eagles (NBC 8:20PM) Al Michaels, Cris Collinsworth, Michele Tafoya

Monday, October 31

San Diego Chargers @ Kansas City Chiefs (ESPN 8:30PM) Mike Tirico, Jon Gruden, Ron Jaworski

[screenshot via Sportsgrid]

Dick Stockton needs to pick up his game for the awards that bear his name!  This week, Dick was shut out in the Straight Outta Stockton awards as nine out of our top ten go to NFL analysts.  Jon Gruden, Rich Gannon, and Troy Aikman take the top three slots for Week 7 while Phil Simms and Brian Billick squirt to the top of the Dickies standings.  This Simms/Billick battle may be the AA equivalent of Manning/Brady.  Should be fun to watch throughout the rest of the season.  The envelope please...

10) Ron Pitts: You're old school. 
Jim Mora: I don't know what I am. (Sighing) I'm a broadcaster right now. (via JohnLewisSports)

9) "We welcome those of you who watched the Packers." - Thom Brennaman (via JimWilliamsOnAir) introing an out of market audience to the GB/MIN game.

8) "What you want to do here is run as much time off the clock, so you can run out the clock" - Warren Moon (via Real_DWM)

7) "This is their version of the no-huddle. I know they're huddling up." - Brian Billick (via jfishSOTW)

6) "Grab him by the waist and get into position" - Jim Mora (via steve5643)

5) "He's coming out blind, seeing a bunch of stuff." - Brian Billick (via TheisJeff)

4) "It looks like they may throw the ball here." Phil Simms (via MikeMarciano33) when the Jets go 5 wide...

3) "Minnesota doesn't need a touchdown here. all they have to do is move the ball and score a touchdown." - Troy Aikman (via bjo109)

2) Marv Albert: "Rich have you played overseas?"
Rich Gannon: "Yes, I have played in Mexico." (via deisner17)

1) "Watch him squirt through this hole and unload on contact." - Jon Gruden (via ThisisERV)

Week 7 Top 5 -

1) Brian Billick 19 pts

2) Phil Simms 16 pts

3) Jon Gruden 12 pts

4) Scott Hanson 10 pts

5) Rich Gannon 9 pts

Others receiving votes - Chris Berman 8 pts, Troy Aikman 8 pts, Cris Collinsworth 7 pts, Jim Mora 6 pts, Daryl Johnston 5 pts, Dick Stockton 4 pts, Warren Moon 3 pts, Thom Brennaman 2 pts, Tony Siragusa 1 pt.

The Full Week 8 NFL Announcing Schedule will be coming soon, where you can find the dates and times of games and all the announcing pairings as well.  Then, make sure you check back every Sunday when the fun begins for another week Straight Outta Stockton!

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Tonight's World Series Game 6 has been postponed, forcing many sports fans to have to settle for UConn vs Pitt football on ESPN with Mark May & Lou Holtz in the booth.  A great night for us and the Pammies... or a night to see if there's an NHL game on (darn, nothing but bull riding on Versus tonight).  Game 6 has been moved to Thursday and a possible Game 7 would be played Friday night.  

Maybe you would have been watching bull riding regardless.  Unfortunately for MLB, the ratings news has been fairly grim as expected for this Cardinals-Rangers World Series.  According to Sports Media Watch, the 2011 World Series is the third lowest rated of all-time through five games.  They also had these interesting statistics:

"The 8.8 rating is tied as the lowest ever for Game 5 of the World Series, and the ninth-lowest for any World Series game. The Texas Rangers have now played in ten of the sixteen lowest rated World Series games of all time.

Over the past four seasons (dating back to 2008), only five of 21 World Series games have drawn a double-digit rating (24%). The World Series’ percentage trails that of other sports, including the NBA Finals (29%), NCAA Men’s Final Four (33%), and Bowl Championship Series (45%).

To put that in perspective, 220 of the previous 224 World Series games hit double-digits (98%)."

It's amazing to consider that drop.  Suddenly, in the last four seasons, only a quarter of World Series games have reached double digit ratings.  The very informative tvsportsratings Twitter page reports WS numbers are down 4% from last year's Giants/Rangers series as well.

MLB can cling to actually beating Sunday Night Football in the ratings this week.  However, the Saints annihilated the Colts in one of the worst blowouts ever seen on national television, 62-7.  That's as hollow of a "victory" in the ratings as I can imagine.  To put it into further perspective, more people watched Two And A Half Men (the one without Charlie Sheen) and Dancing With The Stars than Game 5 of the World Series.

It's too bad for baseball that this year's World Series has been unable to draw television numbers and the sport still flounders without the Yanks or Sawx in the World Series.  I suppose that's what MLB asks for though in constructing their sport to heavily favor those teams and allowing them to dominate the national baseball discussion.  

This World Series has actually been very entertaining so far.  Games 1 & 2 were decided by a run with Game 2 featuring a thrilling 9th inning Texas comeback.  Albert Pujols had maybe the greatest World Series Game ever in Game 3, and Texas has battled back in Games 4 & 5.  

Baseball's ratings have been struggling for some time... but why?  What say you?  Is it because the sport focuses too much on the big market teams and the Yanks & Sox?  Is it because baseball isn't doing enough to market the games to young fans?  Or, is it maybe because the World Series needs a drastic television makeover from Fox and a deliverance from Joe Buck and Tim McCarver?  Comment it out and let us know what you think!

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Coming to rescue us from the doldrums of the tireless coverage of the Broncos QB situation and the drama of the NBA lockout is college basketball season! What that also means is we'll get Gus Johnson back in our lives on a more consistent basis and that certainly is never a bad thing. Unfortunately, the Big Ten Network will be the only place to find him calling college hoop this season. Here's the nitty-gritty from a press release from the B1G...

"America’s favorite play-by-play announcer, Gus Johnson, returns for his fourth basketball season on BTN.  Johnson is scheduled to call nearly 30 men’s basketball games this season, including the network’s four Big Ten Men’s Basketball Tournament games"

Ha-Hah! It's always great to know that the Iowa/Penn State game might be spiced up exponentially due to Gus willing the game to go into multiple overtimes. You also gotta love that the Big Ten Network puts out press releases to celebrate that they have the most popular college basketball announcer on their network. Last year, they even put out a commercial celebrating Gus and his calls on the BTN.

While this is obviously good news for college basketball fans, it's depressing to think come March we'll all be in HEARTBREAK CITY as we enter a new world where Gus Johnson isn't one of the voices of the greatest tournament of them all. Well, we'll cross that bridge when we have to... for now, let's just get excited that college basketball season is only a few days away.

[BTN]

Like the sun rising in the east in the morning, Craig James has taken another Pammies weekly title.  He now has almost double the Pammies points as Pam Ward, Matt Millen, and the rest of the Pammies field.  At this point, we may have to enact a Craig James curve in every poll or contest moving forward... or until ESPN finally comes to their senses and banishes him to their coverage of the CrossFit Games.  The envelope please...

10) "The more I watch Florida St., the more I see the run game just not working." - Todd McShay (via glokkenspx) after Florida St ran for over 200 yds.

9) "We kind of rotate good points up here." - Craig James (via glokkenspx)

8) 'I think with Ware & Mathieu suspended, LSU will look to other guys.' - Gary Danielson (via sctvman)

7) Wendi Nix: "I hear Doctor Lou will be in the house at halftime." 
Lou Holtz: "Yeah, well no. Not in the house. He'll be here." (via bjo109)

6) "If Washington is going to win this game, they're going to have to outscore Stanford." - Sean McDonough (via Tom Gower)

5) "You dont win the Kentucky Derby with a jackass." - Lou Holtz (via joshlabell)

4) "That is a statistical...uhh, something that was proven statistically, right? There was research done on that." - Pam Ward (via twogunsholla)

3) "Grandmas don't look like that, That's a Good-Looking Grandma!" - Matt Millen (via davidreyJR)

2) "Boyd only has 2 catches on the year but he makes them count because he has 3 touchdowns." - Chris Spielman (via bjo109)

1A) "I'm all for it. I'm not completely against it." - Craig James (via DWW_1992)

1B) "It's not even close and it's really close right now." - Craig James (via IsaacTM)

Week 8 Top 5 -

1) Craig James 87 pts

2) Pam Ward 45 pts

3) Matt Millen 43 pts

4) Gary Danielson 35 pts

5) Lou Holtz 21 pts

Others receiving votes - Chris Spielman 18 pts, Brent Musburger 17 pts, Beth Mowins 13 pts, Brett Favre 13 pts, Sean McDonough 13 pts, Artrell Hawkins 9 pts, Warrick Dunn 9 pts, Dan Hawkins 9 pts, Jenn Brown 9 pts, Mike Patrick 9 pts, Gus Johnson 7 pts, Lee Corso 7 pts, Wendi Nix 7 pts, Steve Martin 7 pts, Tom Cole 7 pts, Jesse Palmer 6 pts, Rod Gilmore 6 pts, Andre Ware 5 pts, Dave Pasch 5 pts, Alex Flanagan 4 pts, Mike Morgan 4 pts, Joe Tiller 3 pts, Keith Jones 3 pts, Desmond Howard 3 pts, Shaun King 3 pts, Charles Davis 3 pts, Danny Kanell 2 pts, Steve Beuerlein 2 pts, Scott Van Pelt 2 pts, Kevin Kugler 1 pt, Eric Collins 1 pt, Verne Lundquist 1 pt, Todd McShay 1 pt.

The Full Week 9 Announcing Schedule will be coming soon, where you can find the dates and times of games and all the announcing pairings as well.  Then, make sure you check back every Saturday for the Pam Ward Chronicles and another week of the Pammies!

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Updates at the bottom

In early September, looking to put more meat on the bone, the controversial Longhorn Network negotiated with the Big 12 10 9 10 9 10(?) to add a second football game to their programming in hopes of getting more leverage with cable operators to add the channel. In past cable channel distribution battles, a more noteworthy game often pushed operators to make last second deals in hopes of not pissing off avid sports fans. The tactic dates back to ESPN2's broadcast of UNC vs. Duke as the channel at the time was still having issues making inroads on the distribution front.

While adding this weekend's game against Kansas to the network was probably a shrewd move, the bottom line is that the much talked about Longhorn Network hasn't moved the distribution needle with the game closing in. Unranked in the two major coaching polls and coming off of two straight losses, apparently a showdown with conference doormat Kansas (0-4 in conference play and having lost their last three games by an average of 36+ points) is not compelling the type of outrage and demand ESPN and The Longhorn Network hoped for.

Continued promotion on television, some sketchy espn.com love, and even the below video where Matthew McConaughey shows great range by keeping his shirt on has done nothing to expand the minuscule reach of the upstart network...

If you didn't know before, you have to know now -- Rangers' 25-year-old lefty Derek Holland doesn't take himself too seriously. I mean, just look at that mess on his upper lip:

Well, after pitching a gem in Game 4, Holland didn't waste away Game 5 biting his finger nails, nervously rocking back and forth in the corner of the dugout or getting wasted in the clubhouse. No, he used that time to work on his Harry Caray and Governator impressions. First, here's his Arnold:

Not bad, but a"milk is for babies" reference would've gone a long way with me. Here's Holland's Harry Caray:

Derek Holland's Caray impression was actually much better in this interview with Ian Kinsler, but to be fair it has to be hard for a player to be put on the spot like that on national television during the World Series when people are undoubtedly judging (look at the baby, look at the baby). Credit to Holland for keeping everybody loose during a tense time. Is there any doubt that Holland would eat himself if he was a hot dog and he was starving?

I've reached my breaking point.  I can't take it any longer without saying something, finding some release from the hostile takeover of my life by Timothy Richard Tebow.  I simply cannot escape Tim Tebow.  Everywhere I turn, there he is - Tim Tebow.  On my television.  On my radio.  On my computer screen.  In my mind.  Haunting me like something out of Paranormal Activity.

A debate topic on ESPN in the morning.  A debate topic on ESPN in the afternoon.  A segment on Around the Horn.  On PTI.  On Numbers Never Lie.  On SportsNation.  Primetime.  The Blitz.  NFL Live.  A SportsCenter segment in the early evening.  A mention in the Monday Night Football game.  Another segment on SportsCenter in the evening.  A poll question.  A debate the next morning.  And the next evening.  And the next morning.

And then, interspersed in between there's the #@$%ING DEBATES ABOUT THE DEBATES ABOUT TEBOW!!! 

It. Never. Ends.

ESPN is by far the chief offender for TebowMania.  Yesterday morning, I could turn on any ESPN channel and there would be a greater than 80% chance it would be Tebow Time.  At times, Tebow was the topic of discussion on ESPN and ESPN2 at the same time.  You just had your choice of Merril Hoge dissing Tebow, or Skip Bayless endlessly praising him.  However, ESPN is far from the only offender.  Seemingly every media company and blog is talking Tebow.

I know what you're thinking.  "Matt, aren't you feeding TebowMania by writing about it?  Aren't you just as guilty as the rest" To that I say... duh, of course.  But, I'm willing to sacrifice a small piece of my soul to at least present to you the big picture of what we have seen this week and to hope that we never have to experience this as sports fans again.  In order to defeat the beast, I must enter its lair.

No athlete has ever been talked about more in a short time span for doing less than Tim Tebow, Broncos quarterback.  The 24/7 sports media is to blame.  The impossible outcome of the Denver/Miami game is also a factor, perfectly arming his detractors and supporters to become further entrenched into their positions.  If I hear the words "elongated motion" or "intangibles" one more time I will eat fire.  

It's like living in a zombie universe, except all of the zombies are wearing Tim Tebow jerseys.  (By the way, this is the most nightmarish of all zombie universes in case you were wondering.)  Please Shaun of the Dead, give me some hope for survival...

Ahhh, killing zombies set to Queen gives me some level of comfort.  But then, I'm pulled back into the hideous, frightening reality of TebowMania and I realize that I only wish to be delivered from this deepest level of hell, and my imagined zombie universe is only a mental escape to paradise.

I want to briefly take you on a quick trip through the interwebs to discover all the mind-boggling ways one can talk about Tim Tebow.  Keep in mind, I'm not encouraging you to actually click on any of these links.  I'm only attempting to display to you that this Tebow phenomenon isn't some sort of "white whale," it's real.  The following stories are merely grains of sand from the neverending beaches of Planet Tebow...