Last week was an awesome debut for the Dick Stockton Chronicles - Straight Outta Stockton.  Thanks to all of you who left a comment or tweeted in a quote.  Redzone's Scott Hanson will go down in the record books (there are record books for this, right?) as the first ever weekly winner.  Dick himself mustered seventh place while Phil Simms and Brian Billick look like top contenders as well.  Don't forget to also leave us any quotes from pre or postgame shows (especially Countdown!) as well.

We'll try and update the thread as best as we can on Sundays, but you can check the comments below and our Twitter timeline for all submissions.  Then, we'll be back on Tuesdays with 15-20 nominees and you'll vote on our Top 10 for the week.  SOS winners will be announced Thursdays with updated standings.  Below you can find the links to last week's Top 10 and this week's NFL announcing schedule with broadcast maps.

Week 6 Dickies Winners & Standings

Week 7 NFL Announcing Schedule 

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"the jets have a lot of problems, and one of those problems is...isn't... the quarterbacks." - Phil Simms (via bjo109)

Marv Albert: "Rich have you played overseas?"
Rich Gannon: "Yes, I have played in Mexico." (via deisner17) 

"first pick in the last 77 throws for Sanchez" - Jim Nantz (via dougrox14) Well...he's thrown 2 picks today...

"The Panthers just ran the little read option." - Tim Ryan (via sctvman)

"I actually watched the World Championships this morning." - Daryl Johnston (via AA) talking rugby. It's the World Cup, but close enough.

"Kubiak was a ball boy for Oilers when his Defensive Coordinator Wade Phillips was head coach." - Marv Albert (via JPMontalbano) Bum, maybe?

"San Diego had gone 19 quarters without getting points off takeovers." "No, turnovers." - Jim Nantz (via sctvman)

"Looks like they ran out of brown bear costumes there Moose." - Tony Siragusa (via AA)

"Cleveland's brown... Cleveland's ball." - Ron Pitts (via TheNewMVA)

"Let's play beat the penalty." - Chris Myers (via sctvman)

"That's what you call a spinal tap shot." - Tim Ryan (via sctvman)

"The food here is outstanding here in London." - Tony Siragusa (via AA)

"It looks like they may throw the ball here." Phil Simms (via MikeMarciano33) when the Jets go 5 wide...

Ron Pitts: You're old school.
Jim Mora: I don't know what I am. (Sighing) I'm a broadcaster right now. (via JohnLewisSports)

"Harris just got bent over there" - Jim Nantz (via JRWaits)

Now it's time for our Captain Munnerlyn predictably unnecessary puns section...

"He may be Private Munnerlyn after that play from Ron Rivera and Sean McDermott." - Tim Ryan (via sctvman)

"The Captain just became the Major." - Tim Ryan (via AdamLawsonEU)

"Captain, Oh Captain" - Chris Myers (via AdamLawsonEU)

Kinda glad I'm not watching Skins/Panthers today.

"Looks like we have one second left here. One untimed play." - Chris Myers (via MikeScottL)

"This is why Tony Gonzalez is so phenomenal. He's like a receiver down the field." - Brian Billick (via jrgarcia19) You. Don't. Say.

"We got to get excited about something, let's get excited about these punts!" - Kevin Harlan (via The506) on Denver/Miami.

"This is their version of the no-huddle. I know they're huddling up." - Brian Billick (via jfishSOTW)

"Time of possession with no points is useless. It's like calories in a diet that don't count." - Brian Billick (via MCPitlik)

"The backup is Chris Redman, who has not played in a regular season game." - Sam Rosen (via wchandlerparker) He's attempted ~500 passes.

"I am scatching my head watching this game" - Jim Mora (via steve5643)

"Cam Newton is tune-in TV" - Chris Myers (via ShutdownLine)

"Grab him by the waist and get into position" - Jim Mora (via steve5643)

"Key here, don't lose the field goal opportunity to make this a one-score game." - John Lynch (via mustango13) with the Falcons up 4.

"That play (awkward scramble) is why Colt McCoy is a WINNER" - Ron Pitts (via CFPtherealOG) His career record is 4-9.

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Perhaps the most incredible ending to a football game imaginable just happened tonight.  After blowing a 14 point lead in the 4th quarter, Sparty found themselves tied 31-31 with unbeaten Wisconsin in the last minute.  They drove to Wisconsin's 44 yard line with six seconds left.  Michigan State went for the hail mary, which was batted out of the endzone to a Spartan player, Keith Nichol, standing right at the goalline. Somehow, the ball was ruled inches short of the goalline as Nichol was stood up by Wisconsin defenders.  However, thanks to the beauty of instant replay, the correct call was made and Sparty was awarded with the most improbable game winning TD in recent memory.

Even though he was calling for a hook and ladder before the final play, Brent Musburger was all over the final play and got it 100% correct even calling out instant replay deciding the fate of this game.  It's not every day you see a hail mary win a football game after a replay review... but that's the beauty of sports.

H/T @cjzero

Pam Ward must be feeling somewhat left out this week.  With Craig James dominating the AA landscape for college football, the advent of the Dickies, and Tim McCarver's spelling escapades, the AA stalwart has been strangely quiet in the last month.  Perhaps she's been too busy working for Occupy Herbstreit.  I was really hoping her and Dan Hawkins would be having big seasons in the Pammies so the PamHawk nickname would take off.  Alas, I can only do so much.  This may be the week she finally restarts her Pammies campaign and puts it into high gear.  PamHawk and Cowboy James both venture to ACC country today, so there should be plenty of chances for great Pammy quotes.  

Week 8 Announcing Schedule 

Week 7 winners and updated standings
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Wendi Nix: "I hear Doctor Lou will be in the house at halftime."
Lou Holtz: "Yeah, well no. Not in the house. He'll be here."
(via bjo109) 

"I don't care if it is at 2:30 or 3:30 in the afternoon, Eastern Time" - Randy Cross talking about LSU's Death Valley, in Central Time. (via sctvman)

"LSU's defense will dish out physicalness on Auburn." - Mark May (via bjo109)

"And Louisville with a complete FAIL there on the extra point attempt." - Dave Lamont (via rob_laser)

"They don't have the nicest facilities in CFB, but they don't have the worst in CFB." - Jesse Palmer (via mvanheiden)

"And now Rutgers has 3rd and a few inches and yards." - David Diaz Infante (via bjo109)

"Over 58,000 acres of empty country, you say?" - Craig James (via edsbs) for no reason, when Rece Davis describes an AZ park.

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Screengrab snafus have become so popular, fans are trying to get in on the action!  This guy was way off trying to spell T Plush though...

First on the snafu slate, Drunken Midgets e-mailed these screengrabs from Sunday's NFL on Fox broadcast of Panthers/Falcons.  A pretty major math fail if I do say so myself.  I took a couple minutes to try to add up these numbers and see the exact breakdown, but carrying over and adding times is a lot of work... now I know what Tim McCarver feels like...

Good friend, fellow OWU alum, and lead editor of The Nats Blog, Will Yoder (no relation, believe it or not) sent in this screengrab from his Yahoo Sports homepage.  Yahoo informed Will that one of his teams was in action - "Your Wizards are playing today."  If only this was 2016 and the lockout was close to ending...

That must have been a tough loss for the St. Louis Cardinals in the 2009 ALDS.  Somewhere Jayson Stark is formulating the most obscure trivia question in the history of mankind about National League teams losing in the American League playoffs.  That ought to keep him busy for a while... (h/t Brian Harter)

And finally, folks complain that ESPN doesn't pay attention to MLB and the World Series like they should because of their NFL obsession.  Darren Rovell tweeted this picture that may give those people some more ammunition for their conspiracy.  At least ESPN didn't put a New York Rangers logo in there as well.  Although, I suppose that shows where the NHL ranks on the totem pole...

That was your week in Screengrab Snafus, next time be careful out there!

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Last week we told you World Cup TV rights in 2018 and 2022 were up for grabs as ESPN was in competition with Fox and NBC.  ESPN was seen as a firm favorite to retain the World Cup rights given the success the event has brought the network, the deep pockets in Bristol, and the passion ESPN #2 John Skipper has for the sport.  However, in an upset the likes of Senegal over France, Fox has come from nowhere to win the rights for all FIFA events from 2015-2022 including those World Cups.  Here's the report from John Ourand at SBJ...

The FIFA World Cup will have a new U.S. TV partner in '18 and '22, with several sources saying that Fox will pick up the English-language rights. FIFA has informed the bidders and is planning to announce the winners at some point today or early next week. The decision to award the rights to Fox is a shocking development, since incumbent ESPN was widely believed to be the front-runner to retain the World Cup rights.

I only pegged Fox at 20% last week, so this is definitely a surprise.  Fox has been agressive in going all-in with soccer the last couple years.  They got the Champions League away from ESPN, have rebranded and put money into updated sets and graphics for Fox Soccer, and have even gone as far as putting taped EPL games from Sunday mornings on Sunday afternoons in an NFL window.

I am frankly shocked ESPN let the World Cup go considering all the factors above.  This is a company that hates losing more than it loves winning.  It'll be a bitter pill to swallow seeing how they have helped to build the World Cup into must see television here in the states.  Now, Fox will get to profit off ESPN's investment into the World Cup and the sport of soccer.  ESPN sent along this statement to AA regarding the news...

"We made a disciplined bid that would have been both valuable to FIFA and profitable for our company, while continuing to grow our unprecedented coverage of the World Cup and Women's World Cup events. We were aggressive while remaining prudent from a business perspective.  ESPN remains committed to presenting the sport of soccer at the highest level across our platforms with coverage of the UEFA European Football Championship, English Premier League, La Liga, MLS and other top leagues and tournaments, including the 2014 World Cup in Brazil."

It's unclear at this time how much Fox broke the bank for these World Cup rights and where ESPN's cutoff point was in the bidding process.  While the effects of this bid won't be felt until after the 2014 World Cup in Brazil, this is a landmark moment for the course of televised soccer and the sport in general in the United States.  Let's try to make sense of what the World Cup's move from ESPN to Fox may mean for all the parties involved...

ESPN had a tall order this evening. Two bottom feeding Pac 12 teams playing during a close World Series game as well as going up against popular shows like Jersey Shore, The League, and It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. Not helping was the fact UCLA was getting ridiculously crushed 42-7 as the first half was winding down (Neuheisel a TV analyst by the end of November perhaps?)

Enter Jacen Lankow, the alleged streaker dressed up as referee, to spice up the night. ESPN followed the television protocol of not showing the ensuing fun and actually had a juicier story unfolding as a pretty substantial brawl which led to ejections broke out on the field. Meanwhile, Lankow continued on before being corralled as you see below. Before you watch this video, I am giving you some strong advice to turn down the volume as the cameraman's shrill cheers for the event are a bit painful on the ears. It's pretty clear, given the streaker was zoomed in on before he even entered the field of play, that he was open about his intentions.

Who doesn't like a good video of a drunken streaker getting chased down by authority figures? 

ESPN shrugged off the incident and focused on the brawl and subsequent ejections. 

It used to be that not showing these type of incidents on camera prevented people from ever seeing the incident play out. However with smaller video cameras and cell phones, in addition to Youtube, it's pretty much standard now for these sophomoric guilty pleasure videos to always see the light of day.

It's unclear if Lankow intended to get caught or just didn't really have an exit strategy. Regardless he seemed to lack good field vision as he was bottled up near the end zone.  All in all, he lasted 20 seconds of on field antics before getting tackled. Not bad, but not that impressive, which popular to contrary belief is not Arizona's school saying.

Below is how it looked on ESPN. The most disdain Rece Davis can conjure up is calling Lankow a "knucklehead." Weren't we all back in college?

Watching this made me think back when I witnessed one of the most epic streaker escapes at a football game of all time. Barry Sanders like moves mixed with Chris Johnson like speed. He hurdled back into the stands after running the entire field being chased and seemingly cornered several times. The heftier security guys couldn't jump back into the crowd to chase him down and to this day I think he got away as he made it into the concourse tunnel without any hint of a chase behind him. This was really before the explosion of Youtube and I yearn for footage of it to this day. 

Shunned by traditional media, reviled by authority figures, and beloved by the web and the common drunken fan. I'd imagine that some sporting events are too "holy" for lack of a better word to disrupt, but UCLA vs. Arizona in a lopsided affair? Young rebel rousers certainly get my stamp of approval under those conditions. 

Update: Yes, there is an interview with the streaker!  Thanks to friend of AA Ryan Recker and the folks at KVOA in Arizona for the clip.  And yes, he may face a year and a half in jail.  Oy.

 

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This week's slate of games really do suck, which means it should be a good week for The Dickies. Stop by on Sunday to leave all the awful announcing you may hear throughout these games in the comments or you can also tweet us on Twitter. Keep your eyes/ears peeled.

Bye Weeks: Buffalo Bills, Cincinnati Bengals, New England Patriots, New York Giants, Philadelphia Eagles, San Francisco 49ers

Sunday, October 23

Chicago Bears v Tampa Bay Buccaneers - London (FOX 1PM) Kenny Albert, Daryl Johnston, Tony Siragusa
Atlanta Falcons @ Detroit Lions (FOX 1PM) Dick Stockton, Brian Billick
Washington Redskins @ Carolina Panthers (FOX 1PM) Chris Myers, Tim Ryan
Seattle Seahawks @ Cleveland Browns (FOX 1PM) Ron Pitts, Jim Mora

San Diego Chargers @ New York Jets (CBS 1PM) Jim Nantz, Phil Simms
Denver Broncos @ Miami Dolphins (CBS 1PM) Kevin Harlan, Solomon Wilcots
Houston Texans @ Tennessee Titans (CBS 1PM) Marv Albert, Rich Gannon

Pittsburgh Steelers @ Arizona Cardinals (CBS 4PM) Greg Gumbel, Dan Dierdorf 
Kansas City Chiefs @ Oakland Raiders (CBS 4PM) Ian Eagle, Dan Fouts 

Green Bay Packers @ Minnesota Vikings (FOX 4:15PM) Thom Brennaman, Troy Aikman, Pam Oliver
St. Louis Rams @ Dallas Cowboys (FOX 4:15PM) Sam Rosen, John Lynch, Laura Okmin

Indianapolis Colts @ New Orleans Saints (NBC 8:20PM) Al Michaels, Cris Collinsworth, Michele Tafoya

Monday, October 24

Baltimore Ravens @ Jacksonville Jaguars (ESPN 8:30PM) Mike Tirico, Jon Gruden, Ron Jaworski

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I would've guessed the only water sport at Ohio State University is the Mirror Lake Jump, but that's not accurate. Ohio State actually has plenty of water sports and one is water skiing.

In fact, they were proudly represented over the weekend at the NCWSA (National Collegiate Water Ski Association) Nationals by water skier Kyle Dammeyer.

Thanks to our friend Matt Clapp at Sharapova's Thigh, and waterskibroadcasting on YouTube, we have footage of Kyle's attempted jump:



Of course, something like this is always much more enjoyable when there is an announcer who sounds like Bear Grylls, or Randall. (And we can say "enjoyable" because Kyle's okay!)

Here are some of my favorite quotes:

"OH NO! OH, WOW! ... Are you okay, Kyle?" (he's fine)

"Ladies and gentleman, let's hear it for Kyle Comintoyaaahaaa."  

"Oy, oy ... And I don't care what anyone says, but that is going on YouTube." (and we thank you very much indeed for that)

"Buhh, I don't want to look at it again." (it's played again) 

Indeed.

This week launched Straight Outta Stockton, our NFL version of the revered Pammies here at AA.  For the final 12 weeks of the NFL regular season (and possibly the postseason), we'll gather every week to count down the top 10 Straight Outta Stockton quotes as voted by you.  When the points are tallied up at the end of the season, we'll crown our Dickies champ!  Dick himself gathered 7th place on the totem pole while an underdog claimed top spot in the first week of competition.  NFL announcers are competing for this, right?  Anyways, the envelope please...

10) "Endonken Sue." -Tony Siragusa (via SFOrangeMan)

9) "When you're the Dolphins, and you're winless, you need to win bad" - Jon Gruden (via kenosando)

8) "I'm just gonna guess it's a run, you know why? I'm watching the left tackle... Oh I was wrong" - Phil Simms (via TheLoadedOne)

7) "There he is, lined up in the slot. Wait, no he's not." - Dick Stockton (via bjo109)

6) "Alex Smith steps up in the pocket and completely exposes himself" - Moose Johnston (via djstevem)

5) "There it is! Knee's down! Wait, I don't know." - Phil Simms (via bjo109)

4) "Jay's gonna unleash this one, trying to squeeze into that tight, little hole" - Cris Collinsworth (via gooner_)

3) "Lets Snooki our way back to the Jersey Shore" - Chris Berman (via JKoenAU)

2) "You've got a lot of beef up in there" - Brian Billick (via MatttheKuhn)

1) "The Lions undefeated season is over... for now" - Scott Hanson (via Real_DWM) uhh.. Scott, it's over period.

Week 6 Top 5 -

1) Scott Hanson 10 pts

T2) Brian Billick 9 pts

T2) Phil Simms 9 pts

4) Chris Berman 8 pts

5) Cris Collinsworth 7 pts

Others receiving votes - Daryl Johnston 5 pts, Dick Stockton 4 pts, Jon Gruden 2 pts, Tony Siragusa 1 pt.

The Full Week 7 NFL Announcing Schedule will be coming soon, where you can find the dates and times of games and all the announcing pairings as well.  Then, make sure you check back every Sunday when the fun begins for another week Straight Outta Stockton!

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Tim McCarver can apparently spell, he just can't count. He delivered this gem after a huge strikeout kept the St. Lunatics ahead going to the bottom of 7th in Game 1 of the World Series.  Is now a good time to mention McCarver is announcing his record 22nd World Series?

Ed Note: Thanks to MLB's oppressive and archaic Youtube policy, AA's Youtube video was taken down.  Video now via the fine folks at SportsGrid.

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