Straight Outta Stockton Week 13

Written by Matt Yoder on .

dick_stockton

Packers/Giants is on Fox in your national window at 4 ET as Lions/Saints gets the NBC Flex Game tonight in favor of Colts/Pats.  Leave us your SOS comments throughout the day's games with all the broadcasting quotes from your most and least favorite NFL announcers.  Check the open thread comments, our Twitter timeline, and the #SOSAA Twitter hashtag for all the best Dickies quotes.  You can also check the announcing schedule at the top left of the homepage in our current schedules section.  

The 2011 Pam Ward Chronicles Week 14

Written by Matt Yoder on .

pamwardchronicles

We're back and so are the Pammies!  Craig James is on his way to the Pammies crown just as LSU is on their way to the national title game regardless of what happens in the SEC title game.  Can Oklahoma State beat OU and make a big enough impression on human voters?  That's the storyline to watch on this Championship Saturday.  This is the last week of the Pam Ward Chronicles before the bowls so leave us all the best and worst quotes throughout the day!

This Week In Screengrab Snafus - 12/2

Written by Matt Yoder on .

sportscenterpierce

Welcome to this week's edition of Screengrab Snafus!  Some players age and go with different looks as they move into post-retirement media careers.  I have to say, Antonio Pierce looks a lot different than he did in his playing days.  I kinda like the new look though.  (H/T Carl Chenier)

Elsewhere, it's a wonder Georgia Tech lost in their rivarly game with Georgia last Saturday, what with their 190 First Downs in the first half.  They didn't even post those kind of stats against Cumberland College! (via  and bonus points if you get that reference!)

gt1std

 tweeted us this screengrab from college hoops.  Thank goodness the leader didn't try to spell Billikens...

saintluois

Then again, maybe that person was at the keyboard in taking a look at ESPN.com's college basketball contributors.  Who's controlling ESPN's academic standards, John Calipari?  At least this guy could spell college!  (H/T Nathan Kotisso)

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From Paul Braverman comes this screengrab of ESPN's listing of the highest winning percentages amongst current FBS coaches.  I tell ya, that Greg Patterson gets no respect for what he's done to build the TCU program...

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And finally, from reader Greg Franklin comes this WaPo headline about the tumultuous week in Jacksonville.  It's a wonder the Jags fired coach Jack Del Rio with such a great record...

delrioScreencap

That was your week in Screengrab Snafus, next time be careful out there!

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NFL's Coy Posturing About Thursday Football Continues

Written by Ben Koo on .

More Thursday night NFL football maybe coming as early as next year per Roger Goodell in a recent podcast with Peter King. The NFL has made some noise and actually initiated discussions with networks to sell this additional package with Versus and Turner Sports believed to be the front runners.

Additional games to any network is already a big deal but would be a game changer to the likes of Versus or TNT. But just as quickly as the possibility of eight more Thursday games arose, Goodell nipped it in the bud, essentially giving all the networks the equivalent of cable programming blue balls. Below was the somewhat under the radar story of how those discussions were put on pause...

“I was shocked,” said one network executive. “I really thought that would be the next deal that they would do.”

"NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell squashed that idea Sept. 8, during a press call announcing the league’s $15.2 billion extension with ESPN. Goodell said that rather than coming before the NFL extends its broadcast deals with CBS, Fox and NBC, any new eight-game package still was a long way from reality.

“It’s not likely that we would do it in the next year,” Goodell said. “We’re going to continue our discussions with our current partners and evaluate aspects of our new labor agreement as part of that."

I had the opinion at the time that the NFL definitely wanted to squeeze money out of their network partners first, but also saw some value in waiting a bit as market conditions were likely to increase with continued upwards movement in ratings and ad sales.

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Your Week 12 Dickies Winners And Updated Standings

Written by Matt Yoder on .

dick_stockton

Monday Night Football analyst Jon Gruden "stimulates" the Straight Outta Stockton awards this week with his performance from the Saints blowout victory over the Giants in primetime.  Also exploding onto the scene this week is Bengals radio analyst Dave Lapham with a couple gems.  The envelope, please...

10) "Right cheek, left cheek, control all the way through." -Brian Billick (via poundthehole)

9) "When he gets possession there, he doesn't have possession." - Chad Pennington (via bjo109)

8) "Ndamukong Suh is like Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls" - Keyshawn Johnson (via LobShots)

7) "Hardly anything wrong can go bad." - Phil Simms (via AA)

6) "I want to measure the large intestine of andy dalton because this kids got guts like ive never seen" - Dave Lapham (via rossmallaley)

5) "This is an incestuous night" - Mike Mayock (via TheLoadedOne)

4) "The 53 yard touchdown run by Beanie Wells leads to the 22 yard field goal." -Terry Bradshaw (via sctvman)

3) "I don't wanna sound like a cheerleader up here but way to go Brees! That's awesome!" - Jon Gruden (via ConnorKiesel)

2) "If he completes the pass in the endzone, it'll be a touchdown" - Dave Lapham (via kcurr0408)

1)  "Every day Brees comes to work, Payton stimulates him." - Jon Gruden (via CaptTouchback)

Week 12 Top 5 -

1) Dick Stockton 54 pts

2) Phil Simms 45.5 pts

3) Jon Gruden 44 pts

4) Brian Billick 33 pts

5) Mike Tirico 28 pts

Others receiving votes - Chris Berman 15 pts, Dave Lapham 14 pts, Dan Dierdorf 13 pts, Joe Buck 11 pts, Cris Collinsworth 11 pts, Terry Bradshaw 10 pts, Scott Hanson 10 pts, Jim Nantz 10, Rich Gannon 9 pts, Dan Fouts 8.5 pts, Bob Griese 8.5 pts, Troy Aikman 8 pts, Dan Patrick 7 pts, Mike Mayock 6 pts, Jim Mora 6 pts, Daryl Johnston 5 pts, Tim Ryan 5 pts, Al Michaels 4.5, Bob Costas 4 pts, Warren Moon 3 pts, Marv Albert 3 pts, Keyshawn Johnson 3 pts, Chad Pennington 2 pts, Thom Brennaman 2 pts, Tony Siragusa 1 pt, Ron Jaworski 1 pt.

You can check out the Week 13 NFL announcing schedule here.

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Brent Musburger Gets Overly Excited About Wisconsin's Meaningless Buzzer Beater

Written by Packey on .

Like late in most basketball games that find themselves between nail biter and blowout, the final minute of the North Carolina-Wisconsin game Wednesday night involved a lot of trips to the free throw line and timeouts. After UNC went up 10 near the end, the final minute-oh-three took nearly 20 minutes of real time and long enough to force me to turn my attention elsewhere. Then, Musburger lured me back in with this excited call of a Ben Brust buzzer beater:

Oh, Wisconsin didn't win it or tie it there? You mean all that for a shot that cut a six-point loss in half? Look, half court buzzer beaters are hard to make and rare to see, no doubt, but I have a problem with Musburger making it seem like it was for all the Tostitos. And then Musburger goes on to suggest Wisconsin should have the next day off from practice! It was like Musburger was in deep and covered the spread with that three. "Nevermind that 42-29 rebounding difference or all the other missed shots that led to a three-point loss, take tomorrow off, Wisconsin." No, and I want you to take a look at this, Brent.

Late INT Caps An Instant Classic Flag Football Game Between Team Bron And Team KD

Written by Brady Green on .

Few things in the world can compete with the pageantry and fierce competition that all of America witnessed tonight at the Akron football practice facility. If you just Asked Jeeves about what event I'm talking about, then you weren't nearly as hyped as you should have been for the fist annual LeBrowl game between Team Bron and Team KD. Yep, what you are seeing is something that actually happened on Planet Earth tonight. A flag football game was played by two NBA stars weeks before the season starts that included jerseys being made, announcers and officials being hired, on-screen graphics and thousands who tuned in to watch on the internet.

Somehow it slipped my mind that this clash of the titans was going on tonight so I only tuned in to WITNESS the waning moments of a close one in the 4th quarter. Luckily that was enough time to look like an idiot as I muted the B1G/ACC challenge to point my crappy camera at my crappy computer and populate the internet with possibly the most worthless video it has seen. What I initially saw did not surprise me. LeBron James' team was melting down in the 4th quarter and blowing a lead. To their credit, Team Bron showed some heart and fought back to retake the lead with 30 seconds left. Unfortunately for Heat fans, once again LBJ looked passive in the final minutes as he didn't show initiative and relied on his teammates to make the big play.

Team KD got the ball back with 30 seconds left down by 7 and they were driving. IT WAS INTENSE! LeBron was playing safety and apparently the 6-8 robot was wreaking havoc in the secondary all day as the PBP man predicted he'd end the game with an INT.

Did it hit ground?! Apparently not! I'm surprised the excitement of the moment didn't cause the internet to go down around the nation.

Yep, this might be the first video documented proof of someone taking a knee in a flag football game. And, if you were wondering what a post flag football game interview with LeBron James would look like, he apparently still speaks almost completely in cliches.

A tough loss for sure for Team KD and their sullen captain, Kevin Durant. Now, let's get ready for some revamped talk of "SHOULD LEBRON PLAY IN THE NFL!? LOL! BUT SERIOUSLY, SHOULD HE? IDK. LET'S CHECK HIS TWEETS!" by professional sports pundits.

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Watch And Enjoy Mike Tyson Singing "The Girl From Ipanema"

Written by Matt Yoder on .

miketysonsinging

Has anyone in the history of civilized society gone through a more dramatic public image transformation as Iron Mike Tyson?  The one time baddest man on the planet, the man who served jailtime for a rape conviction, the man who came back to boxing and bit off a man's ear and then said he wanted to eat his opponent's children.  That guy, that guy Mike Tyson, is now playing starring supporting roles in popular comedies, roasting Charlie Sheen, and most recently, singing classic bossa nova songs on Brazilian television.  You can't make this up!  If you woke somebody up from a 20 year coma and told them Mike Tyson was trying his best Frank Sinatra impersonation, wearing a white tux complete with fedora, and had a tattoo on his face... well, that person would just be in shock.

I'll give Iron Mike one thing, he has more natural musical talent than Ashlee Simpson...

As far as I can piece together from the Caldeirão do Luciano Huck website (thanks to Google Translate), Tyson appeared on the show per request from its host Luciano Huck.  One thing's for sure, this is the most interesting boxing-related news in a long time.  Hopefully a cabaret tour across the states is in Mike's future.

[H/T @Jose3030]

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Your Week 13 Pammies Winners And Updated Standings

Written by Matt Yoder on .

pamwardchronicles

The last full week of the regular season has come and gone and fittingly, Craig James wins another round of the Pammies.  He's been more dominant than LSU's defense throughout the season and hits a season high total of 28 points in one week!  Then again, if his statement regarding a possible run for office after the season is an indication, this could be his last Pammies appearance for a while.  The envelope please...

10) "ONSIDE KICK! Well, he pooched it." -- Verne Lundquist (via tomatpsu)

9) "Chop blocking is a staple of what Georgia Tech does." - Mark Jones (via sctvman)

8) "I downloaded that ESPN app. It's the greatest thing ever. Greatest thing in the history of mankind." - Sean McDonough (via bloggerjustinf). Sellin' hard for the mothership!

7) "That might've not even gotten a first down...oh it did, by 4 yards." - Gary Danielson (via bj109)

6) "If you're going to stop a guy like Johnson you have to get some penetration" - Craig James (via Wiginator)

5) "I have a feeling this could be one of those PAC 12 games" - Craig James (via notthatJimBurt).  Please, tell me more...

4) "If you play the game of sport, whatever that sport is you're gonna make mistakes." - Craig James (via sctvman)

3) "His left foot was out before his other two." Brock Huardapparently the Oregon WR has 3 feet (via tcgb22)

2) "He took his ball off the eyesChris Spielman (via clevelandfan87)

1"I know a lot of Aggies who are happy they aren't blowing out (Texas)." - Craig James (via sctvman)  Even for Craig James this makes no sense.

Week 13 Top 5 -

1) Craig James 138 pts

2) Matt Millen 77 pts

T3) Pam Ward 60 pts

T3) Gary Danielson 49 pts

5) Chris Spielman 44 pts

Others receiving votes - Brent Musburger 28 pts, Lou Holtz 21 pts, Mark Jones 20 pts, Shaun King 18 pts, Mike Patrick 17 pts,, Lee Corso 17 pts, Gus Johnson 16 pts, Sean McDonough 16 pts, Beth Mowins 16 pts, Brett Favre 13 pts, Jesse Palmer 12 pts, Tom Rinaldi 10 pts, Rod Gilmore 10 pts, Artrell Hawkins 9 pts, Warrick Dunn 9 pts, Verne Lundquist 9 pts, Dan Hawkins 9 pts, Jenn Brown 9 pts, Andre Ware 8 pts, Brock Huard 8 pts, Wendi Nix 7 pts, Steve Martin 7 pts, Tom Cole 7 pts, Danny Kanell 7 pts, Dave Pasch 5 pts, Bill Land 5 pts, Alex Flanagan 4 pts, Mike Morgan 4 pts, Paul Burmeister 4 pts, Joe Tiller 3 pts, Keith Jones 3 pts, Desmond Howard 3 pts, Charles Davis 3 pts, Steve Beuerlein 2 pts, Ray Bentley 2 pts, Scott Van Pelt 2 pts, Kevin Kugler 1 pt, Eric Collins 1 pt, Todd McShay 1 pt, Tim Brando 1 pt.

The Full Week 14 Announcing Schedule has already been released and you can check it here.

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Is Craig James Planning On Leaving ESPN And Running For Political Office?

Written by Matt Yoder on .

craigjames

Could Craig James actually be leaving the broadcast booth after the 2011 college football season?  Last week, Bloguin's college football site Crystal Ball Run (where I also work as an Executive Editor at Bloguin.com) received word from a source close to the situation that James plans on leaving the network at the end of the college football season to run for political office.

CBR sought comment directly from James regarding a possible political campaign and exit from ESPN.  To his credit, James responded to the inquiry.  Actually, he offered a classic non-denial instead of merely a "no comment."  James wrote this in an e-mail statement to CBR about a possibly imminent political campaign:

"There are a significant number of strong business leaders in Texas that want me to run for office.  But I love my current job and am heavily involved in college football and focused on my analyst responsibilities."

James' statement is interesting in that it leaves the door wide open for more questions to be asked about a long-rumored run for office, especially promoting his business connections in Texas.  After all, even Urban Meyer flatly denied the initial reports linking him with the Ohio State job.  James' comments don't confirm or refute the information given to CBR about his plans for the future.

In the last six months, AA readers have continually voiced their criticisms of the analyst.  James won our Joe Morgan Memorial Tournament in a landslide to put his face on AA's Mount Rushmore and he currently leads the Pammy Awards by a mile.  We've written about the ethical problems and lack of trust revolving around James several times, so maybe politics is his true calling.

Reports have been spreading for some time regarding James' interest in public office as a Republican candidate.  James himself has made no secret about his desire to save the country.  His organization "Texans For A Better America" was seen by many as a prelude to a run for office and this video reeks of a campaign ad.  In early August, James said this regarding a future political candidacy according to The Hill:

"It's been on my radar for two years. And I've gone around the state and I've listened to people," James said on the "Coffee and Markets" podcast published on the conservative blog RedState. "I do believe right now it's too early to make that decision. In the state of Texas, no one's paying attention to the U.S. Senate race right now other than the hardcores. And I believe that somewhere late in the fall, it will become important and people will start paying attention."

James' name has been associated with the US Senate seat held by Republican Kay Bailey Hutchison, who is not running for re-election in 2012.  The deadline for candidates to file in the Republican primary for the U.S. Senate race in Texas appears to be January 1, so a departure around the end of the bowl season would make sense.  We'll be following this story closely and will seek more information as it becomes available.

A shoutout to the entire Crystal Ball Run staff for their work on this story.

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