I was wondering when Corso was going to go completely senile and start muttering inappropriate things on TV.

I'm just glad there WASN'T a delay:

 Of course, this nearly blew up the internet to smithereens. Robert Flores may have said it best: 

Lee Corso doing his best to blow up twitter. It's as if Tim Tebow won the Super Bowl. Throwing to Terrell Owens. W a Brett Favre jersey

Lee Corso read a scripted apology after a commercial break during the Michigan/Nebraska game. No need to apologize, Lee - that was awesome.

**Update - Here's video of said scripted apology...

(Thanks to everyone who sent the tip. Video via SB Nation)

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Week 12 announcing schedule

Week 11 results and updated standings

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"Mike O'Cain decided to spit the football out to his WRs." - Jesse Palmer (via Sctvman)

"Mario Dovell gives a laissez-faire effort." - Ray Bentley (video)

Remember that innocent comment from Boston College athletic director Gene DeFilippo that said, "ESPN told us what to do" regarding realignment?  Well, an e-mail released from Texas A&M athletic director Bill Byrne (right) dated July 21st of this year takes those conspiracy theories to the next level.  The subect is entitled "Big-12 3rd tier issues or: Death by a thousand cuts."  Alllll righty then!!!  Of course, A&M would would officially leave the Big 12 for the SEC two months later.  

With the Big 12 on the verge of annihilation again this summer, there were many issues at stake - namely, consternation over the elephant in the room, Texas' marriage with ESPN via the Longhorn Network.  Byrne's e-mail also sheds light on the complicated nature of television rights and the relationship of the Big 12, ESPN, Fox, and member institutions.  However, it's clear after reading the e-mail that ESPN's conflict of interest with the Longhorn Network may have been an even bigger albatross than we imagined.  Among the highlights of Byrne's e-mail, which you can read in full here...

"The first year of cable system is the critical startup time. So far no cable systems have signed up. According to DeLoss (Texas AD DeLoss Dodds), tu (Texas) contract calls for one game with best efforts for a 2nd game.  ESPN pushing hard to get clearances and inventory. Threatened Tech. DeLoss acknowledges ESPN rep did that but he stopped them from doing that any more. Privately Says he can control ESPN, publicly says he can't."

So an ESPN representative threatened Texas Tech with putting a game on the Longhorn Network?  What exactly did they threaten Tech with?  Negative press?  Sticking Tech games on ESPNU at bad times?  Sending Craig James to Lubbock?  Did the Texas athletic director really have to stop ESPN from threatening other schools?  It gets better...

After last night's improbable victory, Tebow looks like they will continue to rise in the NFL.com Power Rankings.  Right now, there's nothing save for a Mayan apocalypse that can stop Tebow now... except for maybe a team that has a better quarterback than Mark Sanchez.

Maybe Tebow Time could be brought down a couple notches if there was actually an NBA season to talk about.  (OK, let's not kid ourselves, it wouldn't.)  Instead of NBA games, which ESPN is still apparently hopeful of showing, why not MORE TEBOW!!  Come on, I think Bristol is really behind on that story...

Who knew MLB realignment would be so radical?  The Astros are moving to the AL West as is another new MLB team...

I'm not sure which one here is the snafu in this Washington State-Gonzaga game, but a 12-0 run in 22 seconds is impressive enough.  When it happens and you've only scored one point in the game, why that's downright incredible...

And finally, well... I should just let these last two speak for themselves...

That was your week in Screengrab Snafus, next time be careful out there!

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UFC fighter Chael Sonnen appeared on Off The Record in Canada on TSN for an interview with host Michael Landsberg.  Normally, this wouldn't be cause for news.  However, what resulted was the most laughable attempt at a sports interview in the history of human beings answering questions from each other.  In fact, the first attempt at Landsberg's interview with Sonnen goes so bad they attempted a reshoot.  The whole problem revolves around Landsberg suggesting Sonnen "backed down" from his ridiculous proposition towards UFC Middleweight Champion Anderson Silva as his opening question.

Sonnen is a bit of a loose cannon, but this, THIS video makes a Mike Tyson breakdown look normal.  This video makes Jim Rome's sit down with Jim Everett look like Inside The Actor's Studio.  The following interview is such a colossal clusterf*ck that it just has to be seen to be believed.  After that opening exchange, the interview takes a trip into Bizarro World and never comes back until Sonnen finally walks off his remote location during Take #2.  Among the highlights from Sonnen...

"You might want to take the bass out of your tone, I'm not sure you know who you're talking to here."

"What show am I on here, is this for public radio?"

"Should we just redo this, or do you just want to go on the air and look like a fool?"

"Is that how you guys do business in Canada?  'Cause in my country that created business, offers expire... you guys probably don't do that in socialism, but in America, in a capitalistic society, that's how things work."

I suppose Chael Sonnen has never heard of the Silk Road or any other operation of business pre-1776.  Good for him.  And those quotes are only from the first attempt at the interview.  It gets better in Part II...

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Your broadcast maps, courtesy of The 506, can be found here.

Bye Weeks: Houston Texans, Indianapolis Colts, New Orleans Saints, Pittsburgh Steelers

Thursday, November 17

New York Jets @ Denver Broncos (NFLN 8:20PM) Brad Nessler, Mike Mayock, Alex Flanagan

Sunday, November 20 

Cincinnati Bengals @ Baltimore Ravens (CBS 1PM) Greg Gumbel, Dan Dierdorf
Oakland Raiders @ Minnesota Vikings (CBS 1PM) Kevin Harlan, Solomon Wilcots
Buffalo Bills @ Miami Dolphins (CBS 1PM) Marv Albert, Rich Gannon
Jacksonville Jaguars @ Cleveland Browns (CBS 1PM) Bill Macatee, Steve Tasker

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Green Bay Packers (FOX 1PM) Joe Buck, Troy Aikman, Pam Oliver
Dallas Cowboys @ Washington Redskins (FOX 1PM) Kenny Albert, Daryl Johnston, Tony Siragusa
Carolina Panthers @ Detroit Lions (FOX 1PM) Dick Stockton, John Lynch

Arizona Cardinals @ San Francisco 49ers (FOX 4PM) Thom Brennaman, Brian Billick, Laura Okmin
Seattle Seahawks @ St. Louis Rams (FOX 4PM) Chris Myers, Tim Ryan

San Diego Chargers @ Chicago Bears (CBS 4:15PM) Jim Nantz, Phil Simms
Tennessee Titans @ Atlanta Falcons (CBS 4:15PM) Ian Eagle, Dan Fouts

Philadelphia Eagles @ New York Giants (NBC 8:20PM) Al Michaels, Cris Collinsworth, Michele Tafoya

Monday, November 21

Kansas City Chiefs @ New England Patriots (ESPN 8:30PM) Mike Tirico, Jon Gruden, Ron Jaworski

image via

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Boston Red Sox play-by-play announcer Don Orsillo re-signed for four more years, continuing his partnership with analyst Jerry Remy.

Yeah, yeah, that's nice, but what about that bodacious blonde Heidi Watney, you ask?

Well, according to the same release, she will not be returning to the Red Sox next year, leaving the organization with nothing redeeming but beer and fried chicken: 

Watney, whose contract had also expired, is leaving to work for Time Warner Cable in southern California. Time Warner Cable lured the Los Angeles Lakers away from Fox Sports West and KCAL-TV last February with a landmark 20-year deal said be worth in excess of $2.5 billion.

 Watney will work as a sideline reporter on the Time Warner Cable Laker telecasts, beginning with the 2012-13 season. She had worked on NESN's Red Sox telecasts and other Red Sox programming for the past four seasons. Her new job allows her to return to her native California.

The end of Watney's time as a Red Sox field reporter is said to have been a mutual move so the former Miss California could be closer to home. Of course, there were the rumors that she 'dated' players during her time with the team, Jason Varitek in particular, which may have been a determining factor in the end. Just last month, when the Red Sox were being blown up, Watney apparently went against company policy by commenting on the resurfaced rumors. She RT'd Red Sox related news as recent as Tuesday and hasn't updated her profile's info. When someone asked her for an update on her contract status this week, Watney responded that she was on vacation and told people via hashtag not to jump to conclusions. Hmmm. 

If only Boston could find a way to get rid of Dan Shaughnessy:

Time for rejoicing this week because the man that bears the name of our NFL Pammy Awards has finally won a weekly crown!  Dick Stockton takes top spot this week The envelope, please...

10) "Jason Snelling 'Salts'" - Chris Berman (via AA) grasping at nicknames.

9) "D'Brickashaw Ferguson is one of the best pass rushers in the game" - Cris Collinsworth (via Bflo360)

8) "The wheels are coming off their snowmobile." - Dan Dierdorf (via Dan_Ciarrocchi) on Buffalo's season.

7) "If you want to be a good point guard, you have to have some turnovers..." - Phil Simms (via MCamerlengo)

6) "Both of Skelton's interceptions have been in the red zone.. of his own territory.." - Dick Stockton (via JoshuaBatelli)

5) "And this throw against Atlanta, I fell off my bed. I almost hit my head and died." -Jon Gruden (via GreatScottsman) to Aaron Rodgers

4) "Great punt by Weatherford." - Joe Buck (via StPOConnor) during a 29 yard punt that reached midfield

3) "The Packers quarterbacks coach spends a lot of time teaching the quarterback position." - Jon Gruden (via CaptTouchback)

2) "That is how you drop a load on somebody." - Dan Dierdorf (via JoeCNC)

1) "Ken Whisenhunt and Andy Reid in a robbery that has been dead even down through the years." - Dick Stockton (via CK29) I'm not even going to try and guess what this was supposed to mean.

Week 10 Top 5 -

1) Phil Simms 32.5 pts

2) Dick Stockton 30 pts

3) Brian Billick 27 pts

4) Jon Gruden 26 pts

5) Mike Tirico 19 pts

Others receiving votes - Chris Berman 15 pts, Dan Dierdorf 13 pts, Joe Buck 11 pts, Cris Collinsworth 11 pts, Scott Hanson 10 pts, Jim Nantz 10, Rich Gannon 9 pts, Dan Fouts 8.5 pts, Bob Griese 8.5 pts, Troy Aikman 8 pts, Dan Patrick 7 pts, Jim Mora 6 pts, Daryl Johnston 5 pts, Tim Ryan 5 pts, Al Michaels 4.5, Warren Moon 3 pts, Terry Bradshaw 3 pts, Thom Brennaman 2 pts, Tony Siragusa 1 pt.

The Full Week 11 NFL Announcing Schedule will be out later today, where you can find the dates and times of games and all the announcing pairings as well.  Then, make sure you check back every Sunday when the fun begins for another week Straight Outta Stockton!

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If you were to say to someone “hey you know who Cleatus is?” Their response would probably be “that guy from the Simpsons with 37 kids?” Or if you happen to live in the South, you might actually know a few Cleatuses that run ‘round these parts.

Unfortunately for this article, both of those responses are wrong as we are talking about the robot Fox Sports so affectionately loves, who might be involved in a sexual harassment case just as his action figures are hitting the shelves for the holiday season.

Cleatus the Robot was introduced in 2007 and named by a viewer in a contest (any guesses as to what part of the country he is from!?!) and has been the official mascot of Fox NFL Sunday ever since. He’s become somewhat popular. In fact, other characters have been spun off such as Scooter, the short-lived annoying MLB baseball, and Digger, the NASCAR animated gopher.

But Cleatus’ popularity may soon come to a crashing halt at the worst time of the busy shopping year because it seems he can’t keep his robot hands off a very attractive toaster, got caught shooting up a night club, and pending a paternity test could have fathered a cyborg out of wedlock... (video slightly NSFW)

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It's the middle of the week, so that of course means it's time for the return of the MAC on the ESPN networks. Currently, Ohio/BGSU is on the uno and Western Michigan/Miami (Ohio) is on the deuce. I flipped on the Ohio/BGSU game and this clip I recorded was literally the first thing I heard from Ray Bentley. Yep, you heard that right. He described Ohio wide receiver Mario Dovell's effort as being "laissez-faire," or, in his case "LOZZAY FAIR." Since I missed the play, I have no idea what incredibly strange thing Mario Dovell was apparently doing. What I will tell you though is that hearing that sissy-French talk made me spit out my freedom fries almost spoiling this game of AMERICAN football for me. At least that namby-pamby RUGBY punt was blocked by a patrotic Falcon thus righting everything in the world.

For those of you who come to Awful Announcing for the purposes of learning, here's a brief definition of laissez-faire and an insufferable Frenchman prounouncing it correctly.

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