Broadcast maps via The 506 can be found here.

Sunday, September 18

Kansas City Chiefs @ Detroit Lions (CBS 1PM) Don Criqui, Randy Cross
Oakland Raiders @ Buffalo Bills (CBS 1PM) Kevin Harlan, Solomon Wilcots
Baltimore Ravens @ Tennessee Titans (CBS 1PM) Bill Macatee, Steve Tasker
Jacksonville Jaguars @ New York Jets (CBS 1PM) Greg Gumbel, Dan Dierdorf
Cleveland Browns @ Indianapolis Colts (CBS 1PM) Marv Albert, Rich Gannon
Chicago Bears @ New Orleans Saints (FOX 1PM) Joe Buck, Troy Aikman, Pam Oliver
Seattle Seahawks @ Pittsburgh Steelers (FOX 1PM) Kenny Albert, Daryl Johnston, Tony Siragusa
Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Minnesota Vikings (FOX 1PM) Dick Stockton, John Lynch
Green Bay Packers @ Carolina Panthers (FOX 1PM) Ron Pitts, Jim Mora
Arizona Cardinals @ Washington Redskins (FOX 1PM) Chris Myers, Tim Ryan

Dallas Cowboys @ San Francisco 49ers (FOX 4PM) Thom Brennaman, Brian Billick, Laura Okmin
San Diego Chargers @ New England Patriots (CBS 4:15PM) Jim Nantz, Phil Simms
Houston Texans @ Miami Dolphins (CBS 4:15PM) Ian Eagle, Dan Fouts
Cincinnati Bengals @ Denver Broncos (CBS 4:15PM) Spero Dedes, Steve Beuerlein

Philadelphia Eagles @ Atlanta Falcons (NBC 8:20PM) Al Michaels, Cris Collinsworth, Michele Tafoya

Monday, September 19 

St. Louis Rams @ New York Giants (ESPN 8:30PM) Mike Tirico, Jon Gruden, Ron Jaworski, Suzy Kolber

H/T Sammy! 

ESPN2 debuted their new block of afternoon programming this week with Numbers Never Lie and Dan Le Batard Is Highly Questionable airing at 4:00 and 4:30 ET respectively.  Numbers Never Lie is basically the same stuff you see on ESPN/ESPN2 throughout the day with different window dressing.  The show is merely the same debate topics with a new set, new combination of personalities, and some interesting stats as just a sidebar.  Oh, and they get to hype TOTAL QUARTERBACK RATING.  Basically, you can now watch Michael Smith debate Matthew Berry instead of Bill Plaschke.  Yay!  Oh, and the voice that does sponsors, etc. is a British lady and Charissa Thompson hosts instead of Michelle Beadle.  I suppose that's really all that's different about the show.

But while I'm rather indifferent towards Numbers Never Lie, it's Dan Le Batard's new show that is much more... well... interesting.  Dan Le Batard Is Highly Questionable is certainly highly questionable, but I'm trying to figure out what that means.  After surveying Twitter, it's clear folks either love the show or hate the show.  There's seemingly no in-between.  I chose to jump in with show #2 so as to give DLHQ a chance to get the first show kinks out.  Again, what I saw took largely the same topics and format to shows like PTI.  A first segment that talks about the lead stories of the day, an interview segment, secondary stories, and then some fluff to end.  Except, on DLHQ, it's completely different than anything else on the "family of networks"... which may be a good thing... or a bad thing...

The news of ESPN's mammoth new deal with the NFL to secure Monday Night Football and other program was obviously good news for the WorldWide Leader.  As Matt pointed out, the amount of money ESPN will pay over the next 10 years is astronomical, in the neighborhood of $14 Billion.  And while it's nice to think about the consequences of ESPN's saturating their NFL coverage even more, or how many more times Jaws will casually curse on the air, there is one person that hasn't been considered much in the wake of ESPN's deal with the NFL... and that would be you, the consumer.

It's been speculated by many that ESPN will force cable companies to raise their prices to help pay for a small chunk of that $14 Billion.  Of course, as ESPN has grown throughout the years, they've been able to demand more and more money from cable companies, which in turn, has caused cable companies to raise their prices on consumers.  Now, by no means am I an expert on the economics of cable and satellite providers, but a rights contract this massive does give cause for pause.  Heck, ESPN president George Bodenheimer basically admitted the network would ask for more money from cable/satellite providers in the wake of the new NFL deal.  

I know this might be difficult since you're currently reading a sports blog, but imagine yourself a television viewer who NEVER watches ESPN.  Is it fair that the increasing demand of sports fans could potentially raise your monthly cable bill?  Apparently something called the American Cable Association does care, and they're prepared to raise some hell.  Matt Polka, president of the ACA was quoted in Politico... (linking Politico on a sports blog, who knew?)

“There’s no doubt that sports programming is very popular. But people should be able to choose whether or not they want to pay for it on a monthly basis... Non-sports fans are subsidizing the cost for sports fans,” said Polka, who represents 1,000 small cable companies. If these costs keep going up, lawmakers and policymakers are going to get involved … and ESPN isn’t going to like it."

Polka goes on to suggest that all cable/satellite customers already pay around $5 per month for ESPN and ESPN2, which could rise to help the WWL pay for the new NFL contract.  Due to the rising price, Polka and the ACA want to pressure cable providers (with the help of Congress and the FCC if necessary) to place ESPN on a premium "sports tier" instead of part of a basic cable package...

ESPN's Monday Night Football Doubleheader to finish Week 1 of the NFL season is always an interesting point of discussion because of who ESPN chooses to be their "second" MNF announcing team.  For whatever reason, that second team falls under intense scrutiny - perhaps it's because the second half of the MNF doubleheader will be the only NFL game they call all season long.  Perhaps it's also because we were fed Mike & Mike as an NFL broadcast team on multiple occasions and deserve better.  And even with a record setting night all over MNF (Brady's 500+ yards, a 99 yard TD, 63 yard FG, and an all-time great instance of casual swearing), that second announce team was all the rage on Twitter.  

More specifically, Trent Dilfer fell under the spotlight with his first swing as an NFL game analyst, trending throughout the evening.  Brad Nessler is a pro and can do the job, but what about Dilfer?  Dilfer has been consistently moving up the food chain of NFL analysts at ESPN and was given Broncos/Raiders as another chance to shine.  Is he fit to be a primetime analyst... or should he continue to backslap Colin Cowherd while only acting like the smartest guy in the room?  The Twitterverse was mixed, with most arguing for the latter.  As always, these are Real Tweets from Real People...

nickMAMBA I thought Trent Dilfer was actually good in the booth tonight. He knows what he's talking about and he's smooth. I'd like to see him again..
DouglasWilder Good game, awful broadcast, TrentDilfer is da absolute worst! 
JasonMarlo Trent Dilfer sticks up for bad quarterbacks like he has some personal experience with the subject.
DanHellie digging trent dilfer doing color. very solid
ourhonordefend Brad Nessler should call more #MNF games. Trent Dilfer? Not so much.
SC_DougFarrar Trent Dilfer "has been part of some good defenses". Fourth-string safety?
biird Trent Dilfer talking. @awfulannouncing
androog Trent Dilfer is even worse on TV than he was on the field @awfulannouncing
brianedouglas I thought Trent Dilfer did a really nice job in the MNF booth last night. He offered some good insights into the game.

dtybur Was it just me, or was Trent Dilfer beyond annoying tonight? He never stopped talking and over analyzed everything!
JtheBruce Trent Dilfer knows what really happened in Roswell, New Mexico #dilferknowseverything
MarkSchwab Trent Dilfer was really good in the booth on MNF. If ya missed it, ya missed a good one. He could do that every week.
MerltheAlien The only thing I could tell myself that entire game listening to Trent Dilfer was, at least it's not Joe Buck.
zachattack1942 I hope Trent Dilfer never does commentary again. My God that was terrible. And the yelling. Why did he have to yell???
bc_chamberlain Trent Dilfer was the worst color commentator in the history of MNF
Gkelly20 I personally think Trent Dilfer is a great analyst don't understand all the hate on here
Pacman_904 I really cant stand Trent Dilfer
SteezieMcGeezie Trent Dilfer talks way too much. #mnf
TheINC_ Trent Dilfer is answering questions that nobody is asking.

What say you?  Are you a Dilfermaniac or do you want him to just go away so you don't have to be subject to him talking and yelling so much?

In last week's Sports Business Journal, John Ourand handicapped the likely destination for the NFL's new Thursday night package of games. Up for bid will be the first half season of Thursday Night games as the NFL will extend from a half season to a full season of games before the weekend. 

Ourand, who dominates the niche of sports media negotiations, pegged Versus/NBC Sports Network as the favorite with 2-1 odds. Turner came in second with 3-1 odds and way off in the distance were ESPN, Fox, and NFL Network, all of which were double digit odds. 

Essentially you have a two horse race and the smart money is on NBC Sports Network. Ourand explains:

"It’s clear that NBC wants the NFL and already has programmed several NFL-themed shows for its NBC Sports Network. My guess is that NBC and the NFL work out a deal that would give the league an ownership stake in NBC Sports Network. For the league, an ownership stake in one of NBC’s cable channels would be an easy way to bolster its media portfolio. For Comcast, it presents a way to get the league’s package without committing $700 million a year up front."

The buzz is that we'll probably know the winner of the package sometime before Halloween. I've been vocal that NBC Sports Network will win out but I think that given equity of the channel is now potentially in play, there is a long shot scenario for NBC to feed two birds with one hand (isn't that better than killing birds with stones....plus it sounds easier to do).

Currently Versus/NBC Sports Network has two issues on the programming side. 

- Limited live sports (NHL, second tier college football, MLS, Rodeo, Indy, etc)

- Very sparse offerings in terms of original programming.

Believed by many to be the only possible true competitor to ESPN, the expectations to achieve such status quickly have been unrealistic. It will take a decade and progress will be slow and steady but ultimately I think we'll see the day where NBC, NBC Sports Network, NBCsports.com, and the Comcast regional become closer to Pepsi competing with ESPN's Coke opposed to their current status which is closer to RC Cola.

Adding live sports will not be the tricky part. Submitting winning bids for television packages will be competitive but ultimately if they shell out what they need to, there will be a nice natural flow of additional live sports to the network. College football, college basketball, MLB, and the NBA are all on the short list of possible targets.  Almost everything is in play as exhibited by their favorite position with the NFL package.

But original programming is where the struggle will be. It's a symbiotic relationship. Live programming helps lead into original programming, where the bulk of advertising profits is harvested. Original programming helps promote your live programming. ESPN's advantage is that both sides of the fence are stacked and because of this, sports fans, bars, restaurants, seem to naturally gravitate to the channel and stay there rather than flipping around for something better.

NBC Sports Network aims to get to that natural gravitation of an audience and original programming may be the biggest hurdle. Most original shows fail. Not just sports shows, but look at all the crap that debuts and gets cancelled within weeks and months. Frankly, it's a tough industry and one I call a "hits driven" business. Only 10%-20% of shows really ever truly "make it". Just like a move studio or record label, it's your hits that pay the bills and grow the bottom line. 

PTI is a hit. SportsCenter is a massive hit. Baseball Tonight, NFL Live, and College Game Day are all hits as well and for everyone of them there are more than a dozen of shows you probably don't even remember fizzling out...

Ron Jaworski -- not Jon Gruden, okay? -- really thinks Chad Henne HAS to get rid of this ball a little bit quicker. 

"Shit, you have to get rid of this ball just a split second quicker." 

Immediately after Jaws slipped up on-air, the internet exploded, everyone tweet-snickerin' like school children. If we're lucky, this will be the gateway cuss to a "this f**kin' guy" from Gruden.

Jaworski apologized (to Tirico?) after 99-percent of his audience flipped over to ESPN2 for the Broncos/Raiders game: 

"Hey Mike a little earlier in the show when Chad Henne was making a throw I said an inappropriate word so I want to apologize and I hope I didn't offend anybody with that word."

 

"WE'RE LOSING RECIPES!!!!" might just be my favorite phrase ever said emphatically by a sports analyst and I fully intend on making it part of my lexicon.

Anyways, Michael Irvin was delivering a rant like only he can about his feelings on the Colts signing Kerry Collins to be the starting QB a mere weeks before opening day. Near the end of his rant, he decided to switch gears completely and put moms and young ladies on notice on the decline of the home cooked meal before seamlessly continuing his rant on the Colts. The volume is a bit low, here's the highlight of the video written out that starts 1:10 in.

"I should be running slants with the guy that sits in back of Peyton Manning and learns from Peyton Manning. Oh my god, this is what's wrong with today, the young ladies today, they're not learning from mom, how to cook. WE'RE LOSING RECIPES! And now we are going to lose Peyton Manning's knowledge!"

Also, definitely take note of Warren Sapp staring intently at Irvin during that passage and the head nod in agreement afterwards. Good stuff.

I don't know about you, but I'm certainly not ordering food out tonight.

(H/T Tim Burke for the higher quality video)

Can Pam Ward stay atop the standings as we approach the vote for Week 2 of the Pammies?  (Hint: she has a decent chance.  Also, her broadcast partner Dan Hawkins may be her top challenger this year.)  It was a great week of exciting games all over the place, especially the insane Notre Dame-Michigan finish that showed us crappy defenses can be a lot of fun.  As a reminder as to how this works, each week we'll nominate 15-20 quotes for you to pick the best 10.  The winning quote of the week will earn that person 10 points all the way down to 1 point for 10th.  Remember, you can vote for your favorite five quotes.  Here are your Week 2 nominees...

1) "Is there any place better to play and coach than Illinois?" - Kevin Kugler (via Benjamin Bordeau)

2) "Danny Travathan. Let's make that a synonym for a great play." - Pam Ward (via sctvman)

3) "If you take away a bad Oregon State punt and Russell Wilson this game is 0-0." -Chris Spielman (via Schwizzy)

4) "That might be a game-saving stop." - Dan Hawkins (via sctvman) with the game 13-6 CMU with 4:15 in the second quarter.

5) "He's been so cold I think he was out getting a hot dog" - Dan Hawkins with two analogies that make no sense when put together. (via CK29)

6) "Michigan couldn't beat Notre Dame even if Lee Corso played for Notre Dame"- Lou Holtz (via The Subway Domer)

7) "That was a very long one yard gain." - John Thornton (via sctvman)

8) "It takes a special guy to hit that thing fast and hard everytime." - Andre Ware (via DCare24)

9) "... is from right here in Louisville" - Pam Ward (via TheBlightning) calling the CM-UK game from Lexington.

10) "Rutgers down by five, looking to get even." - Steve Martin (via minapier)

11) "Its hard to win when your groceries are ugly" - Liam McHugh (via jleimer)

12) "In another life, I'm coming back as UGA's mascot." - Matt Millen (via sctvman)

13) "Norfolk State has come out and shot all of their bullets."- John Thornton (via sctvman)

14) "He kicks left-footed, even though he throws right-footed" - Sean McDonough (via boystevie)

15) "Michigan wins it." - Brent Musburger (via brewfangrb) with over a minute left in the game and two lead changes yet to come.

16) "This Triple Option offense gives you a lot of options" - Warrick Dunn (via sctvman)

Vote For Your Week 2 Pammy Winners! (vote for up to five)

The winners will come Wednesday morning so make sure you vote early and often and check back for the full Week 3 announcing sked later this week!

 

I take a bit of pride in some of the more thoughtful, longer columns that have appeared on Awful Announcing in the past year.  Hopefully, it's given AA a different dimension and provided more depth and meaningful commentary to the site that you all knew and loved.

This is not one of those articles.  This is one where we find disturbing shots of announcers from the past weekend where they all look like characters in a zombie movie.  Take Ted Robinson from Versus for instance...



My word, I haven't seen a play by play man look that frightened since Dick Vitale first picked up a microphone.  Then there's Joe Buck and Troy Aikman, who have evidently made a habit out of looking like they are hungry for brains.  In fact, Zombie Joe Buck has been riveting America with his monotone play by play stylings for fifteen years.  (Too easy?)

Jim Mora and Ron Pitts took this craze to a new level when they attempted to become the first broadcast pairing in NFL history to eat each other on live television during the Chargers/Vikings game.  Either that, or they were weirdly demonstrating some sort of football move.  Thank goodness Tony Siragusa wasn't around, or else they'd both be goners.



And finally, my personal favorite, ZOMBIE MARK MAY!!!



No, wait, that's how he always looks.  Sorry.  He would be no use to zombies anyways... I think that scene would play out a little something like this.  

Coming back from a commercial break after the Lions kicked a field goal to go up 3-0 in the first quarter against the Bucs on Sunday afternoon, Chris Myers must not have been aware that his mic was on. FOX audio picked up Myers saying something I thought I'd only ever hear Harry Doyle say in the booth (via Guyism): 

"Thank you ... it's bourbon on the rocks."

Did Tim Ryan ask Myers what he was drinking? Was Myers making a joke about whatever non-alcoholic drink he may have been sipping on? Should we really care? 

Well, maybe, especially if it's the booze that has been helping Myers come up with all his awesome analogies over the years.