This weekend, some of the best basketball players on the planet all took the same court... and it had nothing to do with the NBA.  The Goodman League All-Stars defeated the Drew League All-Stars 135-134 in a game played in Washington DC.  The Drew (Los Angeles) and Goodman (DC) Leagues are two of the premier basketball leagues in the country and have been flooded with NBA players during the lockout.  On the floor for Saturday night's Capital Punishment game was a who's who of NBA stars - Kevin Durant (who led all scorers with 44 points), John Wall, Ty Lawson, Demarcus Cousins, Brandon Jennings, and James Harden just to name a few.  Kobe and LeBron have both made appearances in the Drew League this Summer as well.  With the success and hype for this weekend's game, there is already talk of a second game happening soon in Los Angeles.  Here's the highlights from DC...



All of these summer league highlights beg the question... whatever happened to the NBA...

If there is one sure way to guarantee you will be on Awful Announcing, it is by ending your game-winning call by screaming WOOHOOOO in euphoria 3000 times the normal volume. This is exactly what the Houston Dynamo's PBP man (whom I believe is Charlie Pallilo) did following an absolutely perfect left footed strike in extra time with seconds to go to break a tie with Real Salt Lake. Here's exactly what he said for those of you with broken computer speakers.

"Dixon top of the box, Dixon still going, Dixon fires... HE GOT IT, OH MY GAWDDDD! WHAT A WINNER! THE DYNAMO ACADEMY PRODUCT, IN THE 93RD MINUTE! ALEX DIXOONNN! WOOOOHHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"

I gotta say, I love the enthusiasm. I'm happy this found its way to the youtubes because I always find ecstatic soccer announcing goals fantastic. And videos of dogs, definitely love the videos of dogs.

[Deadspin]

Amidst all of the talk and analysis of the University of Miami football scandal, Dick Vitale's opinion hasn't crossed many people's minds.  However, he found himself on Miami radio to talk to the folks at Dan LeBatard's program yesterday.  Usually, I'm not a fan of Vitale and his schtick.  In fact, pretty much the only personality at ESPN who has become more of a caricature of himself is Chris Berman.  And a large part of Vitale's shtick has been protecting the NCAA and the glamorous programs of college basketball. 

Give Dickie V credit for calling on Donna Shalala to resign though, an opinion that's been slow to develop. After all, the national media became hoarse calling for Orville Reddenbacher/Gordon Gee to resign at Ohio St. and he wasn't exactly photographed taking a check from a convicted felon.  However, when pressed by LeBatard's cohost Jon Weiner about rampant renegade programs in the NCAA, Vitale predictably put his head back in the sand.  While Vitale is right in saying not every program buys their players prostitutes, only true apologists would claim there isn't a systemic problem in the NCAA. What was more surprising though, was Vitale abruptly hanging up on the interview... maybe he had to catch the early bird special?

Wow.  Rarely will Vitale get that fired up unless it's his annual bubble team rant.  After watching the clip though, the biggest loser in the entire exchange was Dan Le Batard.  I've constantly been on the fence about Le Batard, at times he seems like one of the few sportswriters who are courageous enough to take an unpopular stand.  But most times, especially when subjects hit too close to home (The U, Miami Heat, ESPN), he rolls over and plays dead.  Seriously, is Dick Vitale going to go to the Bristol principal's office and tattle that LeBatard and his co-host were big bad meanies?  If Dan LeBatard can't stand up to Dickie V of all people... what hope does that leave for his new ESPN2 afternoon series to be anything more than a lame dog and pony show? 

[H/T USA Today]

Of course, the biggest sports story to drop this week was the Yahoo report that demolished the Miami Hurricanes football program.  While the traditional sports media was caught with their pants down, Yahoo brought forward an unbelivably detailed and thorough report documenting the scandal at The U and cementing their status as the best reporting site around.  So, you could understand if the notable Cane alums in the media were a bit shellshocked by the report.

In fact, you can clearly see in interviews given this week that former U players Warren Sapp and Michael Irvin (of NFL Network) and former coach Jimmy Johnson (of Fox) are battling through the Five Stages Of Grief.  From the amateur psychologist's point of view it really is quite enthralling...

1) Denial 

Jimmy Johnson was on Mike & Mike this morning and had this to say...

"I know the people and the media right now are reading all these allegations.  Let's not forget this convicted felon, he cheated people out of over $900 million dollars.  And a little parasite, you know, his entire lifestyle was a lie.  So I'm sure some of these allegations are embellished.  I'm sure some of them are lies, so, let's wait until we get the facts before we start convicting anybody."

Mike Greenberg: "That's fair."

Way to hold Jimmy accountable Greeny, because, you know, it's not like these allegations are substantiated by any documentation anywhere.  Most of it is just mean and nasty rumors from a criminal with an axe to grind.  It's not like you can click on every player involved in the investigation and see evidence that this happened...

Oh, wait... you can do that?  Well, it's not on ESPN and Fox, so we have to wait and see before we start convicting anybody.  Yes, let's wait until the facts come out.  Good work Jimmy, you're on your way to coping with this...

IndyCar driver Will Power would like to give us a very special introduction to this week's Screengrab Snafus...



Oh my, come to think of it that's not very pleasant at all.  Let's move on, shall we?

In that same vein, one newspaper evidently had a bad encounter with tennis great Roger Federer.  I always thought he was quite the gentleman, perhaps I was wrong though...


Actually, I believe it's German for "The Bart The."

Can you spot the error in ESPN's Monday Night Headquarters, hyping the first matchup of the regular season?  This one takes a little effort to find...


And finally, you may have seen this obnoxiously horrifying video of those Alabama sorority girls.  Well, CNN.com chose to go in this unfortunate direction with their headline about the video...


That was your week in Screengrab Snafus, next time be careful out there!!

For Fox's preseason broadcast of Steelers/Eagles in Pittsburgh last night the network decided to place studio analyst Terry Bradshaw in the booth with the A Team of Joe Buck (still suffering the effects of his vocal cord illness) and Troy Aikman. The result was... interesting, to say the least (I was watching reality TV for most of the night, so can't comment definitively either way... c'mon it's preseason football!).

Some viewers apparently loved the different element TB added. I have to say, if memory serves me correctly, Bradshaw did a Sugar Bowl in the booth with Howie Long when Fox had the college football package and did very well.  However, most viewers on Twitter thought TB sounded hammered, senile, or something a bit more disturbing.  Whatever the case, people were talking about preseason football and Bradshaw's booth cameo.  A sign of things to come... or an elaborate ruse from Fox to distract America from its apathy towards Joe Buck. If so, that didn't seem to work.

As always, these are Real Tweets from Real People...

ESPN just debuted their flashy, new, expensive Baseball Tonight set this week.  It's certainly impressive, but it looks like some of the studio personalities are strug-g-ling with their new toys.  Host Steve Berthiaume attempted to take viewers through some lineup changes the Twins were being forced to make on one of ESPN's touchscreen monitors (which are fullproof as we've seen in the past).  Amazingly, the touchscreen didn't work as orginially planned!  Stunning!  What ensued was Berthiaume and analysts Curt Schilling and Jamie Moyer suffering a traveshamockery of the highest order.  Thank goodness the world doesn't run on these reliable instruments of technology...



Surely, the ESPN guys went through that segment beforehand and tested it out (I hope) and the screen faltered during the live show.  Which begs the question, are all the touchscreens really that necessary?  What do they really add except for being an insanely expensive, sometimes working television monitor?  Can't ESPN just do these segments on a giant chalkboard.  There may be some available...

Thanks to @soccerkevin11 for sending us the tip on Twitter.  Don't forget to send us tips either on Twitter at @awfulannouncing or at our e-mail us at the addresses to your left.

I would tell you the details about this video from Deadspin, featuring a large man missing some of his teeth yelling about a high school football team for seven minutes straight like it was some sort of Ultimate Warrior promo... but that would take all the fun out of it.  No, this is something that you just have to see to believe.  Ladies and gentlemen, the shout out to the Knox City Greyhounds...

DOMINATE!!  ANNIHILATE!!  ASSASSINATE!!!!!



In case you haven't had enough, there's another video, too.  I think I just became a Knox City Greyhounds fan.

[Deadspin]

It's possible, when/if basketball ever returns, we may never have to hear TNT analyst Reggie Miller talk over a game again. The word is, according to Yahoo!'s Adrian Wojnarowski, that Larry Bird is working his final season with the Pacers and sees Miller as his replacement:

Indiana Pacers owner Herb Simon has heeded Larry Bird’s private and public proclamations that Bird is working his final year as the team’s president, that his staying through the lockout had been a favor to his boss. As Simon investigates possible succession plans, there’s one candidate emerging over everyone else: Pacers legend Reggie Miller.

Simon has been canvassing people he respects – including his longtime former general manager Donnie Walsh – for opinions about how they believe Miller would do with the transition from television to management. Several people with longstanding ties to Miller and the Pacers are pushing Miller to pursue the job, and as one tells Yahoo! Sports: “He’s going to look hard at this, if it’s presented in the right way.”

He certainly can't do worse.

Now, Woj mentions that Miller may be reluctant to leave his stable gig at TNT and risk his image as a Pacer great to take a job that will undoubtedly have him scrutinized by the fans in a whole new way. Fair point, but I'd say he's already doing that as a truly awful analyst. It's not that he doesn't know basketball - OBVIOUSLY he knows basketball - it's just that he doesn't present it in a way that's at all enjoyable or easy on the ears. I've said it before and I'll say it again, he sounds like the babbling love child of Bill Cosby.

Do us a favor, Reggie; take the job, no matter how it is presented to you.

The second leg of the preseason Spanish SuperCup was played yesterday, continuing perhaps the biggest and best rivalry in world sports - Barcelona vs Real Madrid.  Barcelona continued their recent dominance over Real with a thrilling 3-2 win at home in the second leg after a 2-2 draw in the first leg.  But as much as I'd love to talk more about the soccer, we're here to talk about a man whose stature is growing in the blogosphere - GOLTV's Ray Hudson.  Hudson, who we talked about earlier this week in the first leg, was again at his eccentric and excitable best on two absolutley brilliant Lionel Messi goals.  Transcripts follow both videos, the first a goal before halftime to give Barca a 2-1 lead and the second goal the cup winner in the 88th minute.  Enjoy these scrumtrulescent soundbytes of soccer sanctification...

Messi Goal #1



"AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!.... Excuse me for being excited people, but we've just witnessed a goal that would wake up a catatonic!  Astonishing skill that literally takes the breath away.  Phenomenal football and there's no answer to that.  You can't coach against this.  It's pure genius is what it is!"

"Look at his balance, better balance than a whaler on a very rocky cruise ship.  He stays upright and then he can dink it over the top.  Pique plays it into him beautifully but he's got it all to do... backheel is magnificent imagination in 3D!  Astonishing chip home... his right foot comes out, he doesn't need the Strativarius left, he gets his violin out and plays the sweetest music for the go ahead goal right before half time and suck the air out of Real Madrid."

Messi Goal #2



"A truly genius goal, not just from the executioner, not just from Lionel, but his teammates.  And Cesc Fabregas is a big part of this people... it's brilliant Barcelona interplay and it's wonderful finish.  And Lionel Messi is like a clown's pocket, he just keeps bringing more and more out of it!!"

"And it's an emphatic finish!  Astonishing!  No chance for Casillas, no chance for the Real Madrid defenders!  Cut apart and absolutely made into confetti by Barcelona!"

If I'm NBC with the new MLS/USA soccer package, I'm on the phone with Phil Schoen and Ray Hudson immediately to come be my #1 commentary team.  The two have worked together for years, built up chemistry, and compliment each other well.  Schoen is the straight and solid pbp man who knows when to step away and let Ray do his insane/entertaining thing.  It would be fun to see this booth get some more national exposure and wake up the other catatonic broadcasters out there...

[Zygo Soccer Report]