We're ready to announce the latest Pammy awards and the updated standings after Week 3 in college football.  It was an especially strong debut for CBS analyst Gary Danielson as he took the top and bottom spots in this week's Top 10, knocking the trailblazer of the Pam Ward Chronicles from her #1 position.  Pam keeps her total ticking over with five points this week and Craig James vaults into second place with Matt Millen close behind.  The big names are certainly coming to play so far this season in the Pammies.  In a satirical quote contest, I'm not really sure what that means...  Anyways, the envelope please...

10) "The ball hits off three body parts. A hand, a helmet.. well, a helmet's not a body part." - Gary Danielson (via CaptTouchback)

9) "You gotta hold your water." - Jesse Palmer (via bmaze) on LSU's defense jumping offside... or needing to pee.

8) "He (Paul Johnson) is unconventional, no, inconventional, no, deconventional in his thought process." - Keith Jones (via sctvman)

7) "Kirk Cousins also an internet sensation now after a speech that he gave at the annual Big Ten media luncheon went viral... has over 110 hits on Youtube." - Alex Flanagan (via Ben Koo) [VIDEO]

6) "Houston, scoring his 20th touchdown on the year, on the ground." - Pam Ward (via MDWDFW)

5) "Tie goes to the runner." - Matt Millen (via CK29) on an equal possession reception...it's not baseball, everyone's running

4) "It's so hard to win in football." - Tom Cole (via sctvman)

3) "Chris Berman, the best analyst in the business." - Beth Mowins (via sctvman)

2) "If he wasn't a quiet guy, he would be a vocal leader on this club" - Craig James (via dhh78) on Marcus Lattimore.

1) "Got his hands on a lot of balls and then a sack." - Gary Danielson (via Ryan Scheb)

Week 3 Top 5 -

1) Pam Ward 28 pts

2) Craig James 17 pts

3) Matt Millen 14 pts

4) Beth Mowins 13 pts

5) Gary Danielson 11 pts,

Others receiving votes - T6) Artrell Hawkins 9 pts, Warrick Dunn 9 pts, Dan Hawkins 9 pts, 9) Sean McDonogh 8 pts, T10) Wendi Nix 7 pts, Steve Martin 7 pts, Tom Cole 7 pts, 13) Lou Holtz 6 pts, 14) Andre Ware 5 pts, 15) Alex Flanagan 4 pts, T16) Joe Tiller 3 pts, Keith Jones 3 pts, T18) Danny Kanell 2 pts, Jesse Palmer 2 pts, 20) Kevin Kugler 1 pt.

The Full Week 4 Announcing Schedule will be coming soon, where you can find the dates and times of games and all the announcing pairings as well.  Then, make sure you check back every Saturday for the Pam Ward Chronicles and another week of the Pammies!

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Rightly or wrongly, Bears QB Jay Cutler has had more than his fair share of critics.  Writers, pundits, fans, and even current players have all publicly expressed their disappointment/anger/snarkiness with regards to Cutler and his "toughness" and "leadership" after leaving last year's NFC Championship game due to injury.  Considering Cutler plays behind an offensive line that couldn't block the Rugrats and gets pummeled to the turf time and again (see Sunday in New Orleans), questioning Cutler's toughness seems misguided and foolish.  After all, Cutler was sacked 52 times last season and only missed one game!

The mob mentality by the NFL media in the aftermath of the NFC Championship was bad enough.  If you want to see my immediately visceral reaction where I lashed out at haters like MJD and Derrick Brooks, you can click here... but don't say I didn't warn you.  Unfortunately, the obsession with Cutler's body language and attitude has continued into the current season even though the former Pro Bowler has one of the worst offensive supporting casts in the league (outside Matt Forte) and has received public support from several teammates like Caleb Hanie, Brian Urlacher, and Chris Harris.  However, the worst sin of all in the obsession with covering Jay Cutler occurred during FOX's coverage of the Bears opening game of this season.

As several other media outlets have reported, and first noticed by the Chicago Tribune, FOX presented several newspaper headlines in the 4th quarter of the Atlanta game in Week 1 to enter into a discussion about, what else, Cutler's toughness and leadership.  Analyst Daryl Johnston even presented the headlines as "actual headlines from the local papers," featuring beauties such as "Cutler Lacks Courage" and "Cutler's No Leader."  First, the video evidence from SportsGrid...

Unfortunately, the headlines were anything but true.  In fact, such headlines were absent in not just the Chicago papers, but any paper in the United States!  After the Chicago Tribune called out the FOX fabrication, a spokesman from the network was forced to admit the lies:

“Our attempt was to capture the overall sentiment nationwide following that game. It was misleading.”

To present such phony, ham-handed headlines as authentic was both lazy and disingenuous by FOX.  It wouldn't take much work to show some of the actual tweets and headlines cruelly written celebrating Cutler's injury and defeat. Truthfully, it's another black eye to the network coming on the heels of their website posting a blatantly racist video earlier in the month.  FOX should know better than to try to pull a fast one over viewers in such a brazen manner.  I guess it shouldn't be surprising that FOX would manipulate the truth to fit their Jay Cutler narrative, based on their treatment of his injury in last year's NFC Championship and the constant closeups of his supposed aloofness. However, FOX's feeding into the obsession with Jay Cutler's leadership uncovers the unabashed manipulation by networks in setting the narratives of NFL quarterbacks...

We're a week and a half away from the best time of the year, October baseball. Will the Red Sox crap away the AL Wild Card? Will the Braves do the same with the NL WC? Will Moneyball suck, too? #stats

Wednesday September 21

Milwaukee Brewers @ Chicago Cubs (WGNA 2PM) Len Kasper, Bob Brenley
Tampa Bay Rays @ New York Yankees (ESPN 7PM) Sean McDonough, Aaron Boone, Rick Sutcliffe
Texas Rangers @ Oakland A's (ESPN 10PM) Alvaro Martin, Nomar Garciaparra, Candy Maldonado

Thursday September 22

Tampa Bay Rays @ New York Yankees (MLBN 7PM) Local Broadcast [Alt: LA Angels @ Toronto]

Friday September 23

Boston Red Sox @ New York Yankees (MLBN 7PM) Matt Vasgersian, Jim Kaat [Alt: Toronto @ Tampa Bay]

Saturday September 24

Chicago Cubs @ St. Louis Cardinals (WGNA 1PM) Len Kasper, Bob Brenley
Boston Red Sox @ New York Yankees (FOX 4PM) TBA
Seattle Mariners @ Texas Rangers (FOX 4PM) TBA
San Francisco Giants @ Arizona Diamondbacks (MLBN 8PM)

Sunday September 25

Boston Red Sox @ New York Yankees (TBS 1PM) TBA
San Francisco Giants @ Arizona Diamondbacks (TBS 4PM) TBA

H/T Sammy!

So, what exactly does one of the most popular NBA analysts do while his sport is in indefinite hiatus? Why of course he populates karaoke bars singing Sinatra classics. The video via Guyism really shows that Sir Charles is a man of the people. While his singing voice is expectedly not velvety, it's good to see that he still went for it. Singing talent be damned, for those nearly 4 minutes the round mound of rebound gave it his all and had the idea that him butchering a Sinatra classic was what everyone wanted to hear in this bar. Seeing this video, and of course his golf swing really sometimes makes you forget that he was one of the greatest power forwards in the history of the NBA.

For those wondering, here's Frank Sinatra's "My Way."

[Guyism]

[Crossover Chonicles]

The NHL is slowly picking up steam as a national sport once again thanks to a number of factors.  The devotion of NBC to the sport is more established than the brief seconds of airtime it receives on NFL Network ESPN, a number of new stars are playing the game (if they can stay healthy), several marquee teams have won titles in recent years (Wings, Pens, Blackhawks, Bruins), and there have been compelling playoff series.  According to the NHL, their ratings are up 84% in the last four years.  Earlier this year, Gary Bettman and the NHL chose to stick with NBC and Versus in signing a new massive 10 year extension.  Their announcer pairings for the upcoming season were recently released and it looks strikingly similar to years past.  Here's the details from NBC's press release at Fang's Bites...

All GAMES ON NBC (Thanksgiving Friday, Winter Classic, Sunday ‘NHL Game of the Week’)
Mike ‘Doc’ Emrick (play-by-play), Eddie Olczyk (analyst) and Pierre McGuire (Inside the Glass analyst)

SUNDAYS ON VERSUS (Starting in January)
Dave Strader (play-by-play) and Brian Engblom (Inside the Glass analyst)

MONDAYS ON VERSUS
Mike ‘Doc’ Emrick (play-by-play) and Pierre McGuire (Inside the Glass analyst)

TUESDAYS ON VERSUS
Dave Strader (play-by-play) and Brian Engblom (Inside the Glass analyst)

WEDNESDAYS ON VERSUS
Mike ‘Doc’ Emrick (play-by-play), Eddie Olczyk (analyst) and Pierre McGuire (Inside the Glass analyst)

STUDIO SHOWS

NHL Live on VERSUS
Liam McHugh, Mike Milbury and Keith Jones

NHL Overtime on VERSUS
Bill Patrick and Jeremy Roenick (plus rotating personalities)

‘NHL Game of the Week’ Intermissions on NBC
Liam McHugh and Mike Milbury

The two top play by play men, Doc Emrick and Dave Strader, are now calling games full-time for NBC/VS instead of splitting time between national and local responsibilities.  I like most of NBC's on-air talent, although Mike Milbury was rather insufferable during the Stanley Cup Playoffs.  Pierre McGuire certainly has his haters too, but he doesn't grate me in the same way that he does more passionate hockey fans.  NBC could really benefit from a fresh personality just out of the game that can add more perspective (Van Gundy, Gruden, and more recently Urban Meyer quickly come to mind as analysts that have made that transition successfully).  Doc Emrick is obviously one of the best announcers in the biz, as evidenced by his recent Sports Emmy win for play by play, so having him call three games a week is a definite plus.

Versus is also adding a ton of games, up to 100 total in the regular season.  Also, the networks will have coverage of every Stanley Cup Playoffs game for the first time.  With all the original programming Versus seems to be adding, one would think they would dip into the NHL well once again to start supporting their flagship sport.  It doesn't seem possible, but the NHL preseason is already underway.

[Fang's Bites]

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The hoopla surrounding the Charlie Sheen roast on Comedy Central last night got me thinking... which sports personality would make the best roastee?  Of course, Charlie Sheen has blazed his own insane trail filled with warlocks, tiger blood, drugs, porn stars, more drugs, television shows, crazed rants, winning, and even more drugs.  The roast last night was funny, but with all of Charlie Sheen's craziness, it left me a little underwhelmed from the pure insanity perspective... even with Mike Tyson and Jeff Ross dressed as Moammar Gadhafi sharing the stage with him.  (By the way, Ross, Anthony Jeselnik, and Shatner topped my Charlie Sheen Roast Power Rankings for those wondering.)  Could anyone in sports produce such a scene or be deserving of their own roast?  We took to Twitter so you could tell us who you want to see on the hot seat... figuratively or literally.  As always, these are Real Tweets from Real People...

CoreyNYC @awfulannouncing Brett Farve or A-Rod, for all the obvious reasons.
derekjhernandez @awfulannouncing Lebron James. would be brutal and there would be plenty of roasters to choose from.
TurtleZoot @awfulannouncing Albert Haynesworth, because he's such a friggen easy target for jokes. And he deserves MEANNESS to him
JamesonFleming @awfulannouncing Double-Roast: Rob and Rex Ryan because well simply they are Rob and Rex Ryan.
chrisbahnNJ @awfulannouncing ARod, especially if his teammates were there, find out how they really feel about him
TVGugs @awfulannouncing In a world where nobody was allowed to pull punches and he couldn't fire anyone for it, a Vince McMahon roast would rule.
ejmaroun  @awfulannouncing LeBron. Wait, by roast you mean actually hold him over an open flame, right? #CavsFan
HossBonaventure @awfulannouncing Charles Barkley would be a good one, mostly because he has a sense of humor. I feel like most athletes do not.
RYbbc34 @awfulannouncing if you're talking a physical roasting, i bet Chris Berman would look good cooking over a fire with an apple in his mouth

YankeeMegInPHL @awfulannouncing Chris Berman. So I can annoy the shit out of him too.
CaptTouchback @awfulannouncing Berman...He has zero sense of humor about himself. So much to roast him about. He would take it worse than Michael Scott.
metsfanmurph @awfulannouncing I would like to see Derek Jeter get roasted because for one day I would like to see people not kiss his ass.
RalphieBoyy @awfulannouncing Ozzie Guillen - I'd quit on him mid-roast and see how he reacts. Actually ditto Manny Ramirez on that one...
WiburTN  @awfulannouncing Joe Buck, but, I would hope that eventually people would give up on being funny and just make him cry.
kingsmill63 @awfulannouncing I would like to see Sean Avery because, to put it simply, he is a jackass.
donnarey188 @awfulannouncing Stephen A. Smith. Oh wait, did you mean roasted figuratively?
NotCoachTito  @awfulannouncing I would like to roast Dan Shaughnessy. I mean literally. With fire.

And now, the Craig James category...

HarveyMireles @awfulannouncing OMG I need a Craig James Roast in my life with Official Roastmaster Mike Leach!
ProfessorDrew @awfulannouncing Craig James. Because everyone would actually mean all the shit they say to him.
LoneTweeter @awfulannouncing If it could be literal roasting, Craig James. #firecraigjames
OHD_Michael  Craig James, but the insults wouldn't be jokes
OsamaBinLowden @awfulannouncing craig james. Mike leach get first crack at him.
CaptTouchback @awfulannouncing Craig James...but Mike Leach and Bruce Feldman have to be on the panel. Must See TV!
semicorrect @awfulannouncing I want to see Craig James roasted, and not just with comedy. #ImmolateCraigJames

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The organizers of The World's Largest Chicken Dance at Oktoberfest were drawn to Joe Morgan's chicken-like flapping back arm when he played almost 30 years ago, but what they got out of this year's LEADER was a chicken running around with his head cut off. (Chicken puns, I know you like those).  

See the embarrassment for yourself (via The Score): 

It's kind of sad that Morgan had to YouTube how to do the dance the night before (clearly not following his six P's again), despite the fact it's played at baseball stadiums every night, but it's even more depressing that Morgan was allowed to half-ass this chicken shit on a large stage with pretty, short-skirted girls, who happened to be showing half of their asses.

It appears ESPN's/Bruschi's attempt at creating a contrived controversy was indeed as baseless as we all assumed. This morning Tom Brady spoke to WEEI in Boston and had this to say about the Ocho/Bruschi brouhaha...

“None of those guys have any clue what they’re talking about,” Tom Brady said Monday morning on WEEI when asked about criticism of Ochocinco from ex-Patriots like Tedy Bruschi and Rodney Harrison. “They aren’t in this locker room.”

Matt wrote about this "story" when it first broke, and you can read it here. I pretty much completely agree with everything that was said there as it's been nearly a week and I still can't fathom how anything Ocho said was worth getting worked up about. I mean, Brady threw for 500+ yards, that's absurd. If Ochocinco wants to use his 140 characters and half a minute to complement his teammate on such an otherworldly performance, then that seems like a completely normal human response.

This entire... whatever it is, just reeks of ESPN creating the story rather than reporting it. One of my 5,000 complaints with ESPN deals with the fact that almost all of their on air talent is recently retired athletes that have no schooling or professional experience. Their "experience" almost exclusively was them spouting off nonabrasive cliches in interviews, and for the most part we get players who openly cheerlead for whomever recently employed them, speaking in cliches as athletes instead of as reporters. They really are not completely separated from the game and they still insert themselves in it when they feel the need to.

I was kind of looking forward to finding Bruschi's Twitter account and taking some innocuous tweet and getting completely riled up about it until I found his account. Yes, Tedy has an account, but is yet to tweet, and best of all his name is @Brufasa with a picture of Mufasa as his avatar. I can't hate on that, no way.

The only thing of substance I'm taking from this is hopefully the emergence of the phrase "video game numbers" when describing an absolutely insane performance. For those that aren't nerds, and might be confused by such a phrase, it basically means achieving something that is drastically above what real life athletes are perceived to be able to accomplish. An example of this is I remember playing NCAA Football back in the day and my running back had a 40/4,000 year (40 TD's, 4,000 yards rushing). Right now, real life Tom Brady is on pace to have a 7,500 yard passing season, breaking the previous record by nearly 2,500 yards. Sure, he'll probably not throw for 7K+ yards in a season, but I'm sure someone somewhere in some damp dark basement has achieved such a goal before.

Ochocinco showed he had a pulse yesterday and caught a couple of passes for 45 yards. This was likely enough to halt any prolonged annoyance that we might have endured if he continued to put up goose eggs for his stats.

[Pro Football Talk]

We've covered the growth of soccer in the sports and media landscape here at AA over the last several months, from interviewing the sublime Ian Darke, to telling you about the new MLS/NBC contract, to covering FOX's foray into televising the English Premier League on a national broadcast network.  By the way, according to SBJ's Austin Karp, the tape-delayed Manchester United/Chelsea match on FOX yesterday brought better ratings than the PGA Tour Playoffs!  Even the most hateful of soccer haters has to admit the beautiful game is growing in popularity around the country.

But then again, you watch a clip like the following and just wonder if soccer will ever break through the glass ceiling in this country.  You're about to see the most famous soccer player in the world, David Beckham, go undercover on the daytime talk show Ellen selling his own cologne at a random Target store. Somehow, throughout the entire skit, nobody notices the world's most famous footballer selling his own cologne.  And it's not like Becks borrowed a disguise from Baron von Costume's Deluxe Disguise Kit (obscure Simpsons reference, check!).   

Give Becks credit for being a good sport as he's ordered to act like a fool by Ellen in this humorous clip. Let's face it, if you put Beckham in front of a store in London the man would literally be ripped to shreds. I especially love Becks' poor attempt at acting like a Texan and his constant misunderstanding of Ellen's directions.  And yes, if I can get my AA press credential in time for the Galaxy's trip to Columbus this Saturday, I'll ask Beckham if he thinks soccer has finally "made it" in the US.  Until then though, let's allow the soccer haters another chance to point and laugh at the lack of recognition for the one "grass fairy" who was supposed to be the most recent soccer messiah in the good old U.S. of A.

[H/T The Big Lead]

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*Since this was posted on Friday evening, we are moving our podcast with Bruce Feldman back to the top of AA so more of our audience will be able easily access the interview.  If you haven't had a chance to listen yet, you'll definitely want to check it out to get the full story from Bruce on his move from ESPN to CBS and #FreeBruce.

After being at the center of the biggest sports media story this year, Bruce Feldman broke his six week Twitter silence announcing his move from ESPN to CBS at the beginning of September.  You can now read his work at the new "Free Bruce" CBS blog.  The controversy regarding his "suspension" by ESPN was the talk of the sports media this summer and created a mini-Twitter revolution with the #FreeBruce hashtag trending worldwide.  In this interview, Bruce candidly speaks with AA about..

-What exactly happened between he and ESPN executives and their decision to discipline him. 
-His reaction to #FreeBruce and ESPN's statements. 
-Thoughts on the Poynter Institute as "ESPN ombudsman." 
-His Twitter silence and the decision to speak out about what happened at ESPN. 
-The opportunities and challenges ahead at CBS. 
-Working on television with the CBS Sports Network.

We hear straight from Bruce Feldman himself on these topics and many others.  After writing and investing so much in #FreeBruce and the impact of the story throughout the last two months, this is the one podcast that I've personally been anticipating.  A big thanks to Bruce and the folks at CBSSports.com for the effort to put together this podcast.  If you have followed Bruce's story throughout the last two months, this is the one interview you will want to hear.



The AA Feldman Files

The Bruce Feldman Suspension Is ESPN's Waterloo
Real Tweets From Real People - #Free Bruce
We've Lost The Ombudsman
When Did ESPN Lose Its Journalistic Integrity?
Breaking News: Bruce Feldman Leaving ESPN For CBS
The Definitive Oral And Written History Of Free Bruce

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