Seeing as how ESPN turned the entire internet against them last night for their insane suspension of college football writer Bruce Feldman, it's only appropriate that two ESPNers go head to head today in the Joe Morgan Memorial.  Mark May continues to beat the drum against his hated Buckeyes at all costs (check the bizarre video here) while Chris Berman is in back, back, back, back withdraw from announcing the Home Run Derby this week.  Only one Bristolite will advance to the last eight and send the other back, back, back... ok, I'll stop.  #FreeBruce

Mark May vs Chris Berman

Mark May

Fact File: ESPN college football game and studio analyst

Why He's Here: Mark May is persona non grata in Big Ten country, especially with Ohio State fans as his bizarre feud with the Buckeyes led to "Mark May sucks" chants at the Sugar Bowl.  May's analysis and teams that he dislikes or criticizes seems to be completely random and changes every 8 minutes.  May must like playing the villain role because his analysis often takes an antagonistic, critical role.  Therefore, it's not just Buckeye fans that don't take a liking to him, but rather most all college football fans.  If he offered good analysis, this might be more acceptable.

Links:

Conspiracy Theory Starring Mark May
In Something New, Mark May Is A Joke
Terrelle Pryor vs Mark May
Lou Holtz laughs at Mark May getting booed and a "Mark May Sucks" chant

Round 1 Result: Defeated Dave Lapham 65.07% - 34.93%


Chris Berman

Fact File: Host of ESPN's Sunday NFL Countdown, Home Run Derby, and golf's US Open, occasional SportsCenter anchor and baseball play by play man

Why He's Here: How much time do we have?  Chris Berman has been synonymous with ESPN for over 30 years, but his schtick of nicknames, bad jokes, and bellowing humor has grown old.  His protection of the NFL and the stars of the league leave his journalistic bite at zero.  The #1 best selling ESPN book painted him as a man drastically out of touch with the modern day world, and it shows.

Links:

Somebody Should Explain The Concept Of A Walk Off Win To Chris Berman
Real Tweets From Real People - Berman and the US Open
Tossed Salas Nickname
Classic Youtube Rant

Round 1 Result: Defeated Erik Kuselias 76.83% - 23.17%

Results:

Chris Berman defeated Mark May 70.09% - 29.91% 
 

Round 2 of the Joe Morgan Memorial Tournament continues today with two more 2nd Round matchups.  Thanks to everyone that voted today and we hope you come back through Sunday as we cut the field from 16 to 8.  Here are your results from yesterday...

Joe Buck d. Deion Sanders  55.21% - 44.79%
Skip Bayless d. John Sterling  64.14% - 35.86%

Today's matchup is quite intriguing.  Colin Cowherd has emerged as one of the favorites in the Joe Morgan Memorial for obvious reasons.  However, Joe Theismann has a long history of awful announcing in his own right.  Can he upset the Thundering Herd?  It's up to you to decide.

Colin Cowherd vs Joe Theismann

Colin Cowherd

Fact File: Host of ESPN Radio's The Herd and co-host of SportsNation on ESPN2

Why He's Here: When polled last month, nearly 85% of respondents said that ESPN should end its relationship with Colin Cowherd.  His stereotyping and pontificating are legendary for all the wrong reasons.  Very few in the sports media get away with offensive and flat out wrong statements like Cowherd has the ability to do.  Cowherd likes to pander to intellectual elites and openly mock large portions of his audience.  Thankfully, CBS passed on a sitcom pilot based on the life of Cowherd.

Links:

Cowherd Shuts Down The Big Lead Just To Be A Douche
Cowherd's Ignorant and Insensitive Take On Sean Taylor's Death
Cowherd's Race Bating Includes Ridiculous Comments Towards John Wall
Cowherd Tells The Unemployed It's Your Own Fault

Round 1 Result: Defeated Bobby Valentine 88.47% - 11.53%

Joe Theismann

Fact File: NFL Network analyst

Why He's Here:  Joe has long been one of the blogosphere's least favorite analysts, but his legendary infamous run with Matt Millen was his "finest" hour.  Although Theismann was axed from the game broadcasts after only a year, he's still listed as an on-air personality, so he makes the field.  After all, NFL.com is still touting his "wealth of knowledge and expertise."

Links:

Real Tweets From Real People - Matt Millen And Joe Theismann
Joe Theismann: Don't Forget Danny Woodcock Out Of The Backfield
Jaws Replaces Joey T On Monday Night Football

Round 1 Result: Defeated Mike & Mike 65.7% - 34.3%

Results:

Colin Cowherd defeated Joe Theismann 61.71% - 38.39%
 

Typical.  Bullsh*t.  Punks.  F*ckery.  Abhorrent.  Shameful.  Hypocritical.  Disgraceful.

Those were just some of the words that our followers on Twitter used to describe what ESPN did to Bruce Feldman.  I really don't know where to begin with the following story because it is so ludicrous, so misguided, so enraging, and so unbelievable that it cannot be fathomed by rational human minds.  Thursday, ESPN executed one of the worst decisions and worst PR moves I've ever seen made by a major media company.  The following story makes Colin Cowherd look like Edward R. Murrow.  

Sports by Brooks reported Thursday that ESPN college football writer Bruce Feldman was suspended indefinitely by the "worldwide leader."  Now, indefinite suspensions are not something that is to be taken lightly, especially at ESPN.  Hell, Jemele Hill got one week for talking about Hitler, Dana Jacobsen got a week for bad-mouthing Jesus, and Tony Kornheiser got two weeks for dissing Hannah Storm's wardrobe.  So you know that ESPN is taking something very seriously when one of their top and most respected writers gets suspended indefinitely.  What Bruce Feldman did must be vile, reprehensible, and unbecoming of the journalistic and professional integrity expected by the "worldwide leader."  In a way, what Bruce Feldman did was much worse.  

He helped Mike Leach write his book.  

Here's the story from Brooks:

ESPN Vice President and Director of News Vince Doria, ESPN THE MAGAZINE Editor-in-Chief & ESPN Books Editorial Director Gary Hoenig, and ESPN.com Editor-in-Chief Pat Stiegman participated in the conference call and were behind the decision to punish Feldman.  Doria, Hoenig and Stiegman informed Feldman today that he has been banned from writing for any ESPN entity, is forbidden from appearing on any ESPN platform, is not allowed to Tweet from his Twitter account nor participate in any promotion of a recently-released book in which Feldman played a role.

Multiple management and editorial sources at ESPN have told me in recent months that Feldman would only participate in the Leach book project upon direct approval from ESPN management - which Feldman indeed received.  Since the book was released on Monday, Feldman has deliberately avoided any personal promotion or mention of the Leach book. (You will find no mention of the book on Feldman’s Twitter account and ESPN blog.)  Despite those facts, Feldman was told by ESPN executives Doria, Hoenig and Stiegman today that he was being suspended indefinitely for his participation in the Leach book.

Let's break this down step by step so we can more clearly understand the giant clusterf*ck that ESPN has created for themselves here according to Brooks and other reports around the internet...

1) As background, Mike Leach enters into a feud with ESPN college football analyst Craig James over a controversy involving Craig's son Adam.
2) Bruce Feldman helps Mike Leach write his book, Swing Your Sword, including comments about the James controversy and ESPN's possible role in hyping, twisting, and let's just say making up and promulgating lies about the Adam James controversy.
3) Bruce Feldman, and this is important now, receives permission from ESPN to participate in Leach's book.  You'll see why this is crucial in a second.
4) Excerpts of Leach's book are published incriminating Craig James and others in the Leach controversy.
5) Feldman is indefinitely suspended for participating in Leach's book.
6) SEE #3 WHERE ESPN GAVE HIM $%#&ING PERMISSION TO PARTICIPATE IN THE BOOK.
7) #FreeBruce and Bruce Feldman are now trending on Twitter as the internet, media, and any person with one shred of decency or common sense realizes the travesty that ESPN pulled...

James Harrison started a firestorm yesterday when excerpts from his interview with Men's Journal (and picture above) spread quickly like a wildfire across the internet and the sports world.  If you're wondering why I'm using all the fire analogies, one of Harrison's most notable quotes was this beauty about a hypothetical situation where NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell was lit on fire...

“My rep is James Harrison, mean son of a bitch who loves hitting the hell out of people,” he says. “But up until last year, there was no word of me being dirty — till Roger Goodell, who’s a crook and a puppet, said I was the dirtiest player in the league. If that man was on fire and I had to piss to put him out, I wouldn’t do it. I hate him and will never respect him.”

Happy lockout.  Here's a tip James - if you're going to talk about hating your boss and refusing to even piss on his conflagrated body, it's best not to do it on the slowest sports day of the year.  Word gets out.  But, as the quote above and the rest of the Men's Journal excerpt proved, there's really only one newsworthy story out of this whole interview.  James Harrison is an idiot and an embarrassment to sports.

You can start with the quotes that publicly call out his teammates.  Saying Ben Roethlisberger should "stop trying to act like Peyton Manning" or calling Rashard Mendenhall a "fumble machine" isn't the best way to build togetherness in the locker room.  The comments about Goodell are inflammatory and insensitive, but won't those quotes about his teammates do more damage in the Pittsburgh locker room?

Then there is Harrison's whining about the fines he received due to hits like these.  I despise the NFL's hypocrisy on "safety" as much as anyone.  (How can a league proclaim to be protecting its players while pushing an 18 game schedule?)  But Harrison can't be serious about these tough guy quotes.  Remember how he said he would quit the league after being fined $75,000 for his hit on Browns WR Mohamed Masaquoi?  I wish he would have walked away.  Then we wouldn't have to hear him cry about his fines for illegal hits.  But that's not even near the worst of the Men's Journal interview of James Harrison...

The Second Round of the Joe Morgan Memorial Tournament kicks off today.  In case you're just joining us, we're holding a tournament to find a current sports media personality to replace Joe Morgan on AA's Mount Rushmore and it's all voted and decided on by you.  Here's a link to the full First Round results where we've cut 32 entrants to 16 over the last week.  The Second Round matchups are as follows:

Joe Buck vs Deion Sanders, John Sterling vs Skip Bayless (Thursday); Chris Berman vs Mark May, Colin Cowherd vs Joe Theismann (Friday); Jim Gray vs Thom Brennaman, Craig James vs Rick Reilly (Saturday); Michael Irvin vs Pierre McGuire, Tony Siragusa vs Stephen A. Simth (Sunday).

Round 2 begins with a huge matchup featuring two highly polarizing personalities.  Joe Buck has been quite the topic of conversation this week, with his vocal cord issues and weakened voice getting centerstage attention during the MLB All-Star Game (even getting awkwardly called out by Justin Timberlake).  Honestly, all the heat Buck has been taking is almost turning him into a sympathetic figure.  Deion Sanders has been out of the spotlight recently, but that can't last for long with the NFL lockout hopefully coming to an end.  Who gets your vote to move on to the Quarterfinals in our tournament to put a new face on AA's Mount Rushmore?

Joe Buck vs Deion Sanders



Joe Buck

Fact File: Fox's #1 play by play man for NFL and MLB.  Has announced several World Series and Super Bowls.

Why He's Here: Joe Buck has quickly risen to the top of the most disliked sports announcers.  His dry, monotone style doesn't quite fit in with an age where Gus Johnson and Kevin Harlan are two of the more popular sports announcers in the business.  Beyond that though, Joe Buck has a certain air of smugness towards his announcing duties, even admitting in the past that he isn't that big of a sports fan.  His attempted and failed late night career told sports fans that he had bigger and better things to do than announce the biggest games in sports.  

Links:

Joe Buck Doesn't Enjoy Baseball Anymore
Real Tweets From Real People - Joe Buck
It's Time For Fox To Sit Joe Buck
The Artie Lange Interview

Round 1 Result: Defeated Chris Rose 72.53% - 27.47%

Deion Sanders

Fact File: NFL Network analyst

Why He's Here: Deion Sanders could be given a nightly two hour long show to talk about only himself, and fill it with 20 hours to spare (he would have to sleep some).  No other analyst is so self-aggrandizing than Primetime, who has carried that same swagger to his analyst positions to something less than nationwide acclaim.  To put it in perspective, CBS dumped Deion for Shannon Sharpe.  Ouch.

Links:

Deion Dropped By CBS
Deion Sanders' Extremely Awkward Appearance On Mike And Mike
Deion Criticizes Former Pupil Dez Bryant, In Other News, Pot Calls Kettle Black 

Round 1 Result: Defeated Mike Tirico 69.59% - 30.41%

Results:

Joe Buck defeated Deion Sanders  55.21% - 44.79% 

Round 2 opens today with another great matchup between the only local announcer to make the last 16 and ESPN's windbag of debating debauchery.  The voice of the Yankees, John Sterling, battles with the centerpiece of ESPN's First Take, Skip Bayless.  Like Round 1, polls will be open until the next matchups go live the next day and we'll have two Second Round matchups going each day.  That means Round 2 will go from Thursday-Sunday with the recap and Quarterfinal draw coming Monday.  

John Sterling vs Skip Bayless



John Sterling

Fact File: New York Yankees play by play man

Why He's Here: Sterling is one of those rare announcers that has become a caricature of himself.  His Bermanesque homerun calls can be painful even for the most ardent of Yankee fans.  They wouldn't be so bad if Sterling didn't routinely botch even the simplest of commentary.  His trademark "Yankees win, THHHEEEE YANKEEEEES WIIIINNN" call is the anthem of the seventh circle of hell for baseball fans outside New York.

Links:

Derek Jeter's 5,000th hit?
John Sterling Is Utterly Confused
John Sterling Being John Sterling
The Sterling Shake

Round 1 Result: Defeated Matt Millen 58.69% - 41.31%

Skip Bayless

Fact File: "Star" of ESPN's First Take and 1st & 10

Why He's Here: The former antagonizing columnist transformed into an antagonizing TV personality with his transition to first Cold Pizza and then First Take on ESPN2.  Bayless traditionally squares off against a debate partner in segments that contain enough hot air to lift the Hindenburg.  Often, Bayless will say outlandish things just for the sake of saying outlandish things.  Thankfully, most people have stopped listening.

Links:

Rob Parker & Skip Bayless Said What About Chad Ochocinco
Skip Bayless And Chris Broussard Have Exchange For The Ages
Nelly: Why rappers want to kick Skip Bayless' butt on ESPN
The Best (Worst) Of Skip Bayless - 2006 

Round 1 Result: Defeated Woody Paige 77.91% - 22.09%

Results:

Skip Bayless defeated John Sterling  64.14% - 35.86%
 

It was another thrilling game for the United States Women's National Team as they battled France in the semifinals of the 2011 World Cup.  Lauren Cheney scored inside the first ten minutes to give the United States another early lead, but the French dominated possession for large portions of the first half and were rather unlucky to be trailing at the interval (said in my best British accent).  All of the French possession and quality chances paid off when Sonia Bompastor equalized on a fluky cross that bounced pass Hope Solo.  With the USA team up against the wall, it was Abby Wambach once again that "saved the USA's life in this World Cup" scoring a goal off a corner in the 79th minute.  Here's the game-winning goal from @bubbaprog at SportsGrid with the ever popular Ian Darke on the call...



Only three minutes later, Alex Morgan provided the clinching goal on a fantastic chip over the French keeper to seal the 3-1 victory...



The USA plays upstart Japan (who beat Sweden on Wednesday) in the World Cup Final in Frankfurt, Germany.  Ian Darke and Julie Foudy will be on the call at 2:45 ET Sunday afternoon on ESPN.  It's amazing how this team has captivated the nation over the last week.  Let's bring home the World Cup, shall we?
 

Thanks to all of you that voted and participated in the First Round of the Joe Morgan Memorial Tournament.  If you're new to the party, the JMMT is in search of putting a new face on Awful Announcing's Mount Rushmore.  The field began with a diverse array of sports media personalities including national and local, play by play and analysts, studio hosts and radio hosts, and everything in-between.  Some "lucky" current sports media personality will be the newest person to be memorialized on the Mount Rushmore of Awful Announcing.  Throughout the last week, the field has been cut in half from 32 hopefuls down to 16.  Here's the full results from Round 1...

1) Skip Bayless d. Woody Paige  77.91% - 22.09%
2) Rick Reilly d. Hawk Harrelson  58.7% - 41.3%
3) Tony Siragusa d. Jack Edwards 71.55% - 28.45%
4) Thom Brennaman d. Jon Gruden 58.32% - 41.68%
5) Deion Sanders d. Mike Tirico 69.59% - 30.41%
6) Michael Irvin d. Dick Stockton  71.61% - 28.39%
7) Chris Berman d. Erik Kuselias  76.83% - 23.17%
8) Pierre McGuire d. Reggie Miller  57.62% - 42.38%
9) Craig James d. Mike Patrick  75.17% - 24.83%
10) Joe Theismann d. Mike & Mike  65.70% - 34.30%
11) Mark May d. Dave Lapham 65.07% - 34.93%
12) Jim Gray d. Jim Nantz  78.15% - 21.85%
13) Stephen A. Smith d. Stuart Scott  51.45% - 48.55%
14) John Sterling d. Matt Millen  58.69% - 41.31%
15) Joe Buck d. Chris Rose  72.53% - 27.47%
16) Colin Cowherd d. Bobby Valentine  88.47% - 11.53%

A few notes from the first round before we reveal the second round draw...

*Matt Millen won our 2010 Worst Announcer of the Year reader poll at Awful Announcing at the end of the last year by a wide margin.  However, he lost out to Yankees play by play man John Sterling in what I consider to be the upset of the first round.  Yes it is baseball season, and yes, Sterling has had some epic botches recently, but still the result is surprising with just how critical fans have been of Matt Millen.  The force of the Evil Empire is certainly strong.

*It should be no surprise that Colin Cowherd received the highest percentage of first round winners by a wide margin.  He was the only person to receive over 80% of the vote... after all, over 80% of voters said that Cowherd should be fired in an AA poll last month.  Jim Gray and Skip Bayless received the next highest percentages.  The closest first round matchup saw Stephen A. Smith narrowly defeat fellow ESPN NBA personality Stuart Scott.

*The most interesting first round matchup may have been Pierre McGuire's comeback victory over Reggie Miller.  Reggie had built up an early lead, but then the online hockey community got involved and pushed Pierre to the top.  How far will their passion against McGuire carry the bald headed analyst?

*Here's the network breakdown for the remaining 16 competitors...

8 ESPN, 3 Fox, 3 NFLN, 1 NBC, 1 local announcer

Now, without waiting any longer, we'll reveal the draw for the Second Round matchups.  As a reminder, we're randomly redrawing brackets every round until the semifinals to add a little more unpredictability and remove any bias due to seeding.  We drew the top 8 votegetters from Round 1 against the Bottom 8.  Here are your second round matchups with the dates of each.  We'll run two matchups a day again in this round and be back on Monday with the 2nd Round recap and Quarterfinal draw.  Links to the polls are here as well and winners are in bold.

Thursday - John Sterling v Skip Bayless 
Thursday - Joe Buck v Deion Sanders  
Friday - Chris Berman vs Mark May  
Friday - Colin Cowherd v Joe Theismann  
Saturday - Jim Gray vs Thom Brennaman
Saturday - Craig James vs Rick Reilly
Sunday - Michael Irvin vs Pierre McGuire
Sunday - Tony Siragusa v Stephen A Smith
 

Last night’s Midsummer Classic didn’t thrill the executives over at FOX Sports.  The game turned out to be one sided and didn’t have any of the late inning drama to keep the average television viewer from flipping off the tube and hitting the hay. Is Johnny Johnson willing to stay awake past 11PM ET to watch the garbage game that went down last night?  Not a chance.  Overall, the game was a snoozer. The best action came in the bottom of the fourth inning. Unfortunately, FOX decided to do a ridiculous interview with Justin Timberlake during, what turned out to be, the key inning of the game. Why FOX?? WHY??!!

First of all, it just doesn’t make any sense to do the interview at that juncture of the game. Adrian Gonzalez had just hit a homerun to give the American League a 1-0 lead and the National League was bringing their 2-3-4 hitters to the plate in their half of the inning. It didn’t seem like a good spot in the telecast to have Mark Grace interview Timberlake, did it?  You would think that someone in the production truck would have said, “the NL has some big daddy diesel hitters coming up, maybe we should hold off on the Timberlake interview?” After Carlos Beltran led the inning off with a hit, FOX should have adjusted their plans by pushing Timberlake to another inning or bumping him completely. I hate when FOX does these celebrity interviews to begin with, but if they’re going to do them, can they please use their noodle and do them at a time of the game that is more sensible?

As for the interview, it was awkward.  Grace looked like and sounded like a fool.  He really came off as a creep when he put his arm around JT and said, “why don’t we come over here and get a shot of the pool?” He might as well have just said, “let’s move over here so we can get these girls in their skimpy bikinis on camera.” Timberlake’s joke about the beer was a big fat Cheese Doodle.  Also, I have to admit, his sarcastic comments directed at Joe Buck actually bothered me. He had no business poking fun at Buck. Timberlake basically criticized Buck’s ability to call a game and commented on the voice troubles that the announcer has had to endure over the past several months.  I don’t think JT should have done that during the telecast, it was a little unfair and cheap.  Buck did what he was supposed to do and bit his tongue; I give him credit for that.

A few pitches after the disastrous interview with Timberlake concluded, Buck was given a chance to prove to JT and the television audience that his voice was actually in fact “getting there” like he previously declared when he was told by JT that he had a "classy voice."  Buck didn't deliver (link here in case the video goes down)....

I’m sorry Joe, but I could barely hear what you said.  You were completely drowned out by the crowd and sounded hoarse, flat, bland, raspy, lethargic and old.  Clearly, your voice isn’t as wholesome as it should be. Why not take a break?  You can come back after Vin Scully calls the 2011 World Series on FOX. What do you think?

***Ed Note: While Tweeting about Buck's voice during the ASG last night, Dan Bell, VP of Fox Communications, Tweeted us this response...

danpbell @awfulannouncing for the record, Joe has our full support as he gets back to 100% and he is staying on the air.

Fox's position comes as no surprise, but is no less disappointing.  At least they took the time to publicly address their support for Joe Buck though, so thanks to Dan.  In spite of what countless fans have said on Twitter, there is seemingly no scenario where the network will even consider sitting or resting Joe Buck.  It was clear that Buck's vocal cord virus (and again, we wish him the best in recovery) took away from the game last night.  The question has to be when Fox will listen to the fans that are wanting something new in the Fox booth.

As for Vin Scully, he respectfully declined an interview with AA through a Dodgers spokesman, citing the countless interview requests he receives and the need to choose amongst them.  He is aware of the World Series movement, and we're still hopeful that it happens with both Fox and Joe Buck publicly on board with the idea.
 

The highly predictable Mike Leach tell-all book is coming out this week as the former Texas Tech coach gets his own platform to talk about his controversial firing at Texas Tech in December 2009.  But, we're not as interested so much in Mike Leach's endless pursuit of justice as we are his juicy feud with the next US Senator from Texas, ESPN's Craig James.  (And Leach's budding career as a terrible analyst.)  The firing, feud, and lawsuits have been well documented, but Leach's new book pulls back the curtain even more on the specifics of Craig James and his involvement in the story.  All the quotes are from an excerpt published in Sports Illustrated...

Adam's daddy, Craig, came around and campaigned for his son. He talked about how good Adam was. It all started when we beat Cal in the Holiday Bowl. Craig, who was there to announce the game, came up to our hospitality room. He started talking about how great his kid was and how great the bloodlines of the James family were. I later found out that he tried giving the same sales pitch to the Nevada staff after calling their bowl game too.

Is it a surprise to see Craig James trying to sell multiple programs on his kid?  Of course not.  Now, using his position as an ESPN analyst to do so might make most people shudder.  What's laughable though is Craig James touting the bloodlines of the James family.  What, does the James family include someone that defended the Alamo?  Perhaps a member of the Grand Ducal of Luxembourg?  Are you kidding me?  The fun continues...

Craig James told Tech chancellor Kent Hance that Adam had spent three hours in that electrical closet based on instructions from Pincock. That night, Craig called Larry Anders (chairman of the Tech board of regents) and complained that Adam had been forced to practice with a concussion and had been locked in an electrical closet. We'd already held out the starting quarterback for a month that season because he had a concussion -- the starting quarterback. Adam was forbidden to practice because he had a concussion. We wanted him away from the field.

I think we're all pretty well in agreement now that Adam James went into that closet on his own and the Texas Tech hierarchy used the Adam/Craig James controversy to get rid of someone they perceived to be as a loose cannon.  Still though, let it sink in that a top ESPN college football analyst was on the horn with a school chancellor to get a coach fired.  What would Fox do if Tim McCarver was trying to undermine Tony La Russa.  Or CBS if Phil Simms had it in for Sean Payton?  Was ESPN blissfully unaware that things like this were happening...