Everyone's favorite ex-ESPN announcer Joe Morgan is finding interesting ways to keep our attention since having his face removed from the AA Rushmore. He started by getting his own sports talk radio show. Ha! Nobody listens, though, so there hasn't been much to say on it. Joe Morgan's next move is leading chicken dances. No, he's not coming back to Sunday Night Baseball; these are real live chicken dances, apparently. This Morgan gold comes via The Enquirer (H/T tipster Steve):

Reds great and Baseball Hall of Famer Joe Morgan will lead the annual World’s Largest Chicken Dance at Oktoberfest next Saturday.

Morgan, a 10-time All-Star and National League MVP in 1975 and 1976 when the Reds won back-to-back World Series titles, is the second former Red to lead the Chicken Dance, joining Joe Nuxhall, who did it in 2007.

The dance will take place at 1:30 p.m. on Saturday, Sept. 17, on Fountain Square.

The organizers of the chicken dance say they were drawn to Morgan because of the way he would flap his back arm while hitting, almost 30 years ago. You can't make that stuff up. At least this will undoubtedly give rise to stuffjoemorgan.com.

Some of you reading this will know I'm a irrationaly huge Saints fan... thus, it's very difficult to come out of the dark place in my soul to say anything about last night's game.  You hate to lose games like that as a fan.  The Packers won a thriller thanks to their stop of Mark Ingram from the one yard line with no time on the clock and won 42-34.  As much as I'd love to talk/vent/cope about the Saints' pass defense, turnovers, red zone inefficiency, and lack of ability to get one yard... we're here to talk about the ratings bonanza the game was for NBC.  It was one of the most exciting regular season games in a long time and definitely the most compelling opening to a regular season in recent league history.  The game received a huge 17.2 overnight rating and NBC was all over the news...

According to Darren Rovell, it's the same number last year's BCS National Title game pulled in.  Considering college football is by plenty of accounts the second most popular sport in America, it says just how far the NFL is ahead of its competition.  As far as the announcers and the broadcast goes, I thought Michaels and Collinsworth were solid.  For my money, they're still the best announce team in the NFL and NBC has the best game presentation although I admittedly wasn't too focused on that last night.  I am surprised that the number is down from last year with all the excitement of football being back though.  I would have thought the uncertainty of the lockout and the nationwide relief/excitement of a real NFL game would have brought a larger number.  However, it is still the second highest NBC game in their Sunday night era.  Even though last year's Saints/Vikings game pulled in a bigger rating, I'm going to give credit there to the story of the Saints winning a title for New Orleans and not the old guy with the texting.  In fact, that may be the best part about the 2011 season - we're finally free of Favre!  At least I have that to be happy about.

Now to watch the last play from last night 1,000 times on my DVR and hope Mark Ingram actually gets in the endzone on one of them...

Fun with facial hair is nothing new, and Aaron Rodgers has certainly not shied away from rocking his lip fuzz year after year. And while no one can really challenge Brian Wilson's wiry, black grip on the top face rug in MLB history, the NFL's annals feature a much tighter race for the #1 spot.

In his recent interview with the American Mustache Institute, Rodgers's discussed his two childhood dreams: becoming both a Super Bowl Champion and a mustached American. Now in my book, having accomplished both of those goals leaves him with only one potential future ambition: to become a Mustache Champion. Take a listen, and consider how Rodgers compares to other great hairy lipped-men of football lore. 

             

He's rocked The Natural, and the Mutton Chops in seasons past, but this year's Horseshoe (DO NOT call it a Handlebar) just may take the cake. 

Continuing to draw on inspiration from the world of pro wrestling, he channels the Hulkster so hard I'm inclined to pull out my protractor and certify the right angles on that lip tickler. Ok, so maybe I don't own a protractor, and maybe I don't know how to use one, but there's no denying that this man's trimmer is laser-guided and probably german-engineered. 

So what of the challengers?

Read on to find out who's hair can hang...

In news that isn't too surprising, ESPN agreed to a massive extension with the NFL to keep Monday Night Football on the leader until 2021.  That means ten more years of "this guy!"  This eight year extension is worth a ginormous 14.4 BILLION dollars throughout the life of the deal.  Yes, BILLION.  That's 1.8 BILLION dollars per year according to Sports Business Journal.  If I can play Darren Rovell for a bit, that's 105.8 million dollars per game for the seventeen that are televised throughout the MNF season.  26.4 million dollars per quarter.  1.7 million dollars per minute.  And, 29,411 dollars for every second of NFL game action on the network.  Wrap your mind around those numbers.  However, those billions and billions of dollars aren't just being spent on MNF.  ESPN will also keep the NFL Draft, add some mobile rights, and most importantly of all, they get back the Pro Bowl!!  I'm shocked that wasn't the lead headline.

As another part of the deal, ESPN is also receiving "Expanded highlight rights across ESPN’s television and digital platforms."  This leads to the other major news to come out of this new deal - several more hours of NFL programming across the ESPN networks.  In fact, if somehow you aren't a fan of the NFL and think that ESPN pays way too much attention to the NFL as it is, you may just want to leave now.  Frankly, this is a move that had to happen with ESPN's addition of several hundred new NFL analysts and the runaway freight train that is the Shield.  You don't think ESPN signed Eric Mangini just for his congenial personality, did you?  Here's the details...

Ryan presented the 2011 broadcast teams for NFL on FOX supplemented with his opinion on each. That night, FOX announced the games each team will be assigned to in Week 1 of the 2011 NFL season. As Ryan noted, Gus Johnson does not start his NFL announcing career with FOX until Week 4 due to his college announcing gig, a travesty.

UPDATE: The CBS broadcast teams were announced recently, as well, which Matt will broke down for you in full (not all were assigned a Week 1 game). Take note that the great Marv Albert is a newcomer and will work games this year with Rich Gannon.

We'll update this post leading up to Week 1 with links to broadcast maps when they become available.  Can't wait! [Bart Scott voice]

UPDATE II: The NFL season is officially upon us and the Week 1 NFL Broadcasting Maps are avaialable at The 506. 

Thursday, September 8:

New Orleans Saints @ Green Bay Packers, 8:30 p.m. NBC -- Al Michaels, Cris Collinsworth, Michelle Tafoya

Sunday, September 11:

Early Games: 

Detroit Lions @ Tampa Bay Bucs, 1 p.m. FOX -- Chris Myers, Tim Ryan
Atlanta Falcons @ Chicago Bears, 1 p.m. FOX -- Kenny Albert, Daryl Johnston, Tony Siragusa
Philadelphia Eagles @ St. Louis Rams, 1 p.m. FOX -- Thom Brennaman, Brian Billick, Laura Okmin
Pittsburgh Steelers @ Baltimore Ravens, 1 p.m. CBS -- Jim Nantz, Phil Simms
Buffalo Bills @ Kansas City Chiefs, 1 p.m. CBS -- Marv Albert, Rich Gannon
Tennessee Titans @ Jacksonville Jaguars, 1 p.m. CBS -- Ian Eagle, Dan Fouts
Indianapolis Colts @ Houston Texans, 1 p.m. CBS -- Greg Gumbel, Dan Dierdorff
Cincinnati Bengals @ Cleveland Browns, 1 p.m. CBS -- Kevin Harlan, Soloman Wilcots

Thanks for all the submissions last week during your relaxing Labor Day weekend. Pam appreciates it. Anyway, she's on ESPNU at noon for the Central Michigan/Kentucky game and GameDay is in Ann Arbor this week for the first ever under the lights game at Michigan Stadium. Have fun out there. 

September 8:

Florida A&M at Hampton (7:30PM ESPNU)    Anish Shroff, Jay Walker
Arizona @ 7 Oklahoma State (8PM ESPN) Rece Davis, Craig James, Jesse Palmer, Jenn Brown

September 9:
Florida International @ Louisville (7PM ESPN)  Bob Wischusen, Bob Davie
19 Missouri @ 23 Arizona State (10:30 ESPN) Joe Tessitore, Rod Gilmore, Eamon McAnaney

September 10:
Oregon State @ 9 Wisconsin (Noon ESPN) Dave Pasch, Chris Spielman, Urban Meyer, Quint Kessenich

Florida Atlantic @ 16 Michigan State (Noon ESPN2) Beth Mowins, Mike Bellotti

Iowa @ Iowa State (Noon FSN) Joel Meyers, Joel Klatt, Jim Knox

Central Michigan @ Kentucky (Noon ESPNU) Pam Ward, Dan Hawkins

San Diego State @ Army (Noon CBSN) Gary Thorne, Randy Cross

South Dakota State @ Illinois (Noon BTN) Kevin Kugler, Kelly Stouffer, Tony Banks

Toledo @ 15 Ohio State (Noon BTN) Tom Hart, Derek Rackley, Lisa Byington

17 Mississippi State @ 22 Auburn (Noon SECN) Dave Neal, Andre Ware, Cara Capuano

Rutgers @ North Carolina (12:30 ACCN) Steve Martin, Dave Archer, Mike Hogewood

Norfolk State @ 24 West Virginia (1PM Big East Net) Rob King, John Thornton

Maine @ Pittsburgh (1PM ESPN) John Sanders, Christian Fauria

Northern Colorado @ Colorado State (2:00 MTB) Bill Doleman, Todd Christensen, Darius Walker

2 Alabama @ 20 Penn State (3:30 ABC) Brad Nessler, Todd Blackledge, Holly Rowe

Cincinnati @ Tennessee (3:30 ESPN2) Mike Patrick, Craig James, Jeannine Edwards

Nevada @ 14 Oregon (3:30 FX) Gus Johnson, Charles Davis, Tim Brewster

11 Virginia Tech @ East Carolina (3:30 FSN)  Ron Thulin, JC Pearson, Jeremy Bloom

25 Texas Christian @ Air Force (3:30 VS) Paul Burmeister, Shaun King, Anthony Herron

California at Colorado (3:30PM CSN-CA/FCS-Pacific)  Barry Tompkins, Mike Pawlawski, Dan Dibley

6 Stanford @ Duke (3:30 ESPNU) Clay Matvick, Brian Griese, Allison Williams

Eastern Illinois @ Northwestern (3:30 BTN) Matt Devlin, Glen Mason, Rhett Kleinschmidt

New Mexico State @ Minnesota (3:30 BTN) Wayne Larrivee, Brett Basanez, Rebecca Haarlow

North Carolina State @ Wake Forest (3:30 ACCN) Rich Waltz, Keith Jones, Jenn Hildreth

Hawaii @ Washington (3:30 ROOT Northwest) Tom Glasgow, Warren Moon, Jason Stiles, Jen Mueller

Tulsa @ Tulane (3:30 PM CST) Sean Kelley, TBA, Eric Richey

Purdue @ Rice (3:30 PM CBS Sports Network) Dave Ryan, Rich Rodriguez, Kaylee Hurtung 

Southern Mississippi @ Marshall (3:30 PM CSS) Mike Morgan, Chuck Oliver, Craig Ackerman

Wofford @ Clemson (3:30 PM ESPN3) Joe Davis, Warrick Dunn

South Carolina State at #25 Bethune-Cookman (4 PM ESPN3)    Adam Amin, Jay Walker

12 South Carolina @ Georgia (4:30 ESPN) Sean McDonough, Matt Millen, Heather Cox

Rhode Island at Syracuse (4:30PM SNY/Cox/TWC-NY/GamePlan/ESPN3) Mark Larson, Dale Drypolcher, Dan Liedka

North Dakota at Idaho (5PM SWX/KTFT2 (ID)/KTVB2 (ID)ESPN3) Bill Ames, John Fritz

#1 Eastern Washington at South Dakota (5PM Midco Sports Network) Tom Nieman, Andre Fields

Murray State at Mississippi Valley State (5PM Racer Television Network) Jeff Waters, Dave Winder

Fort Lewis at Northern Arizona (5:05 PM Universityhouse/FCS-Atlantic) Mitch Strohman, Kevin Stephens, Marc Buckhout

Charleston Southern at No. 4 Florida State (6PM ESPN3)  Doug Bell, Rene Ingoglia

#17 Southern Illinois at Mississippi (6PM CSS-PPV/GamePlan/ESPN3) Richard Cross, Harry Harrison

Lafayette at Georgetown (6PM LSN/FIOS1-DC) Gary Laubach, Mike Joseph, John Leone

Temple at Akron (6PM ESPN3) Michael Reghi, Je'Rod Cherry

Stony Brook at Buffalo (6PM TWC-NY/GamePlan/ESPN3) Howard Simon, Marlon Kerner, Brian Koziol

Furman at The Citadel (6PM WMYA (NC)/ESPN3)  Chuck Hussion, Corey Stewart, David Cobb

Texas State at Wyoming (6 PM The Mtn.)  Ari Wolfe, Blaine Fowler, Andrea Lloyd

Brigham Young @ 21 Texas (7PM ESPN2) Mark Jones, Ed Cunningham, Samantha Steele

UTEP @ SMU ( 7PM FSN) Bill Land, Gary Reasons, Desmond Purnell

New Mexico @ 13 Arkansas (7PM ESPNU) Rob Stone, Danny Kanell, Maria Taylor

Northern Illinois @ Kansas (7PM FOX College) Steve Physioc, Yogi Roth

Fresno State @ 10 Nebraska (7PM BTN) Eric Collins, Chris Martin, Dionne Miller

Virginia @ Indiana (7PM BTN) Tom Werme, Jon Jansen, Stacy Paetz

Navy at Western Kentucky (7PM ESPN3)  Shawn Kenney, Eddie Robinson, Jr.

UAB @ 18 Florida (7PM SECN) Bob Rathbun, Tim Couch, Kristina Akra

Robert Morris at #24 Liberty Flames (7PM Sports Network/ESPN3)  Mike Tilley, Ray Jones

#18 Central Arkansas at Louisiana Tech (7PM ESPN3) John Sadak, John Gregory G

Georgia Tech at Middle Tennessee State (7 PM ESPN3)  Dan Gutowsky, John Bunting

Grambling State at Louisiana-Monroe (7PM ESPN3)    Darren Goldwater, Rob Harley

St. Francis (PA) at #11 North Dakota State (7PM North Dakota NBC Netw) Dan Hammer, Kevin Feeney, Jamal Spencer

Houston at North Texas (7PM ESPN3) Dave Weekley, Drew Henson

Ball State @ South Florida (7PM Big East Net) Jim Barbar, Doug Graber

Memphis at Arkansas State (7PM ESPN3)  Matt Swierad, Chuck Cecil

Morgan State @ Bowling Green (7PM BCSN) Greg Franke, Tom Cole

Connecticut at Vanderbilt (7:30 PM SNY/CSN-MidAtlantic+/CST/GamePlan/ESPN3) Matt Stewart, Chris Doering, Sandra Golden

Utah @ USC (7:30 VS) Ted Robinson, Glenn Parker, Akbar Gbaja-Biamila
 

Northwestern State at No. 3 LSU (8PM PPV/GamePlan/ESPN3) Doug Greengard, Rene Nadeau

Notre Dame @ Michigan (8PM ESPN)  Brent Musburger, Kirk Herbstreit, Erin Andrews

Boston College @ Central Florida (8PM CBS Sports Net) James Bates, Aaron Taylor, Brooke Collins

Weber State at Utah State (8PM ESPN3)  Trey Bender, Jay Taylor

San Jose State at UCLA (10PM FSN-West/FCS-Pacific) Bill Macdonald, JJ Stokes, Courtney Jones

The charge of racism gets thrown around a lot in our society as a weapon of defense from potentially opposing points of view.  In fact, charges of racism and other inflammatory rhetoric are thrown around so carelessly by today's media (especially in politics) that it's hard to tell reality from hyperbole.  But then again, there are examples like the video shown below that are clearly and senselessly racist to the core. 

This sick attempt at a "joke" comes from FOX Sports' website and "comedian" Bob Oschack. Oschack poses as a reporter to interview USC students about welcoming Utah and Colorado to the Pac-12.  A simple enough premise, if not a comedic gold mine.  The problems start early when Oschack clearly encourages USC's students to give a "good old-fashioned All-American welcome" to the newest Pac-12 schools.  What follows is about as discriminatory a three minutes of video as you can see as Oschack exclusively interviews Asian-American students and awkwardly questions them on Pac-12 expansion.

As someone who went to an undergraduate school with one of the highest international populations in the country (Ohio Wesleyan) and as a graduate student in a natural science (Chemistry) I've encountered many Asian-American students.  Many speak English as a second language and fight every day to communicate with the majority of people they deal with in a college setting.  Despite the communication gap, the Asian-American students I've encountered seek no pity or extra attention, rather they want to be treated as any other student who doesn't face the same language barrier.   Furthermore, many could give two pisses in a bucket about collegiate sports.  So, parading a bunch of Asian-American students in front of a camera to talk about sports was only done for one reason, to demean and make fun of them.

Several questions come to mind after seeing the video.  First, who in their right mind thought this was funny?  This overtly racist crap wouldn't even make Archie Bunker laugh.  Second, who in their right mind at FOX Sports thought this was a suitable video to publish on their website.  A similar incident comes to mind when ESPN allowed a "depth chart analysis" of an Alabama recruit's death to slip through the editorial cracks at the WWL.  Only mild credit can be given to FOX Sports for pulling down the video and issuing an apology.  These types of eye-opening mistakes can't happen in this day and age, especially at a major sports media company like FOX.  We're not talking about a mistake on the level of "that's why pencils have erasers."  No, someone should seriously lose their job over this overtly racist video ever reaching the internet.  

[Business Insider]

Thanks to all of you who voted and took part in Week 1 of the Pammies.  Here are the winners below and the updated (well, first) release of the standings.  You'll never guess who took home Pammy gold in the opening week.  (I'll give you a hint - the Pam Ward Chronicles are named after her.)  The Full Week 2 Announcing Schedule is also coming soon.  The envelope please...

10) "Two ex-presidents represented there on the sideline." - Beth Mowins after camera shot of Auburn sideline using pics of Obama and Bush to signal plays.

9) "You have so many things going on in your mind, the last thing you're worried about is the play cock, the play clock..." - Danny Kanell (via bfinleyui)

8) "Should take a knee here" - Joe Tiller with losing team nearing field goal range with under 30 seconds left (via Bloguin)

7) "Wow, if they'd have caught him right there, they would have caught him behind the yardage line." - Beth Mowins (via SaxxSkwerl)

6) "You've got to play football for sixty minutes every snap." - Andre Ware (via sctvman)

5) "Here is where i think he makes a mistake.  He zeroed in and threw a strike." -Matt Millen (via bjo109)

4) "And Northwestern without Dan Persa on the road at Boston College on ESPNU. Pam?" - Wendi Nix
(Awkward silence)
Beth Mowins: "Beth Mowins and Mike Bellotti here at Jordan-Hare Stadium..." (via jdwvu)

3) "I like to see a running back who has eyeballs in his shoes." - Craig James (via Brady Green)

2) "The goal of the defense is to keep the offense from scoring." - Artrell Hawkins with brilliant analysis (via steve5643)

1) "Smith has a team high 6 catches on the season. Or on the season or in the game because it's the first game of season" - Pam Ward (via kevin7673)

Week 1 Standings - 1) Pam Ward 10 pts, 2) Artrell Hawkins 9 pts, 3) Craig James 8 pts, 4) Wendi Nix 7 pts, 5) Matt Millen 6 pts, T6) Andre Ware 5 pts, Beth Mowins 5 pts, 8) Joe Tiller 3 pts, 9) Danny Kanell 2 pts.

Some potential playoff previews this week. Braves/Phillies could be an NLCS match up; Phillies/Brewers is another NLCS possibility, as it stands now. On Saturday, the Yankees do battle with the Angels, who can still catch the Rangers.

And then there's Sunday Night Baseball between the Cubs and Mets. Maybe ESPN knew this would be a throw away, so when they get dominated by Sunday Night Football, they'll have a built in excuse of, "Well, it's the Cubs vs. Mets; what do you expect?" [UPDATE: As Toki470 points out in the comments, it's obviously because of 9/11, which I knew was Sunday but for some reason didn't put two and two together. Where should I put my first blogger Pammy of the new cfb season?]

Wednesday September 7

Atlanta Braves @ Philadelphia Phillies (ESPN 7PM) Dan Shulman, Aaron Boone, Rick Sutcliffe
Seattle Mariners @ Los Angeles Angels (ESPN 10PM) Dave O'Brien, Nomar Garciaparra

Thursday September 8

Philadelphia Phillies @ Milwaukee Brewers (MLBN 8PM) Local Broadcast [Alt: Cleveland @ Chi White Sox]

Friday September 9

Philadelphia Phillies @ Milwaukee Brewers (MLBN 8PM) Local Broadcast [Alt: Atlanta @ St. Louis]

Saturday September 10

Minnesota Twins @ Detroit Tigers (FOX 4PM) Matt Vasgersian, Bert Blyleven 
Cleveland Indians @ Chicago White Sox (FOX 4PM) Josh Lewin, Eric Karros
Oakland Athletics @ Texas Rangers (FOX 4PM)  Glen Kuiper, Tom Grieve
New York Yankees @ Los Angeles Angels (MLBN 9PM) [Alt: San Diego @ Arizona - 8PM]

Sunday September 11

Philadelphia Phillies @ Milwaukee Brewers (TBS 2PM) Ernie Johnson, Ron Darling, John Smotlz
Chicago Cubs @ New York Mets (ESPN 8PM) Dan Shulman, Orel Hershiser, Bobby Valentine

Monday September 12

Detroit Tigers @ Chicago White Sox (MLBN 8PM) Local Broadcast [Alt: Philadelphia @ Houston]

H/T Sammy! 

Apparently, there are two types of British announcers.  On one hand, there's the kind of British announcer who keeps his or her compusure and typical British air no matter the circumstances. You'll remember from May the story of cricket commentator Edward Bevan, who managed to maintain his cool even when faced with his own impending doom.  

Then, on the other hand, there are the British announcers who consistently go absolutely, flipping crazy at the drop of the hat.  You've begun to see the exploits of the outlandish soccer analyst Ray Hudson in this space recently, and trust us, there'll be plenty more where that came from as the La Liga season continues.  Another shining example of Brits losing their minds over sports can be found in the world of darts where a man named Sid Waddell has entertained/puzzled viewers for years by making a simple pub game sound as important as the Super Bowl.  

However, thanks to the fine folks at Deadspin, we've found some British announcers who top them all in the "foaming at the mouth" department thanks to the sport of... mountain biking?!  Well, if the Brits consider darts a major sport, I guess anything is possible.  Anyways, in the clip below you'll find lunatic ramblings on the exploits of Danny Hart, who apparently is the Lionel Messi of riding a bike down a hill.  Watch the clip and enjoy the sheer lunacy of announcers Rob Warner and Martin Whiteley.  Who knew falling down a mountainside on a bike could be so breathtaking?  I wonder if I can convince AA to start a weekly open thread to chronicle the next mountain biking madness...

[Deadspin]