Perhaps nobody symbolizes ESPN's meteoric rise to total dominance of the sports world in the last decade than Bill Simmons.  Simmons came to ESPN in 2001 as the Boston Sports Guy - an entertaining bloggerwriter with a relatively small, devoted following.  In the last decade, Simmons has grown to the biggest online force in sports.  Those thousands of readers have turned to millions.  Millions also download his podcast as well.  Bill Simmons has grown his online platform to starting the new Grantland.com project as an extension of his online work the last decade... and millions will flock there as well.  You may or may not be a fan of Simmons, but one can't deny his monumental success.

But, Simmons isn't just an online presence - like ESPN itself, he has come to grow his own brand in many ways.  Some would say Simmons has his own world.  He was instrumental in the success of ESPN's 30 for 30 documentary series, widely praised as one of ESPN's best ever efforts.  He's written a #1 New York Times Best Seller.  He's filled in as a guest host of PTI.  He's even announced an NBA game with Dan Shulman and Mark Jackson (although he evidently doesn't think announcers matter at all... I guess that means he's not an AA reader?).  In truth, Simmons is ESPN in 2011... which is what makes his conflict with ESPN so intriguing.

There have been many controversies regarding Bill Simmons and Bristol.  Whether it's nixing President Obama on his podcast, a suspension for combative tweets (ESPN book excerpt here), or general feuding with the network... there always seems to be some sort of drama pitting the Sports Guy against his ESPN bosses and the Bristol machine.  Perhaps then, it's not a surprise that Bill Simmons is one of the most outspoken and honest ESPN personalities in Those Guys Have All The Fun when it comes to being critical of ESPN.  We shared some of Simmons in our excerpt yesterday going after Mike Tirico for how he handled the Tony Kornheiser experiment on Monday Night Football.  Today, our excerpt (albeit much smaller, we've hit the 500 word limit, sorry folks) is a revealing statement from Simmons on the culture of ESPN and Bristol that gives insight into the relationship between Simmons & ESPN and a window into what one of ESPN's top personalities thinks about the Bristol mothership...


"I need to figure out a way that I can operate in my own sphere and not deal with Bristol as much.  Nothing against Bristol, but I do worry that it becomes a little cultish after a while.  You go there and there’s ESPN everywhere.  At the cafeteria, there’s Mike & Mike getting a sandwich… It’s really hard to think out of the box when you’re trapped in that box the whole time… that’s one of the reasons PTI succeeds – it’s in Washington, it’s out of the box, they leave it alone."


Describing Bristol, CT and the beautiful ESPN campus as "a little cultish" will not make anyone in a cushy office there happy...  

The Thunder and Mavericks just went to halftime in Game 2 of the Western Conference Finals, but Kevin Durant might have provided the highlight of the 2011 NBA Playoffs with this amazing slam dunk on Brendan Haywood.  Durant's dunk is comparable to Taj Gibson's facial on Dwyane Wade from Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals, but I rate Durant as the better posterization.  He had to go up and over 7 foot center Brendan Haywood.  This dunk reaches Blake Griffin territory.  Mike Breen and Mark Jackson with the call...



"Excuse me I got an appointment with the rim."  Eh, come on Mark Jackson, let's come up with something a little more creative and exciting to express the ferociousness of this jam... not making me think about going to the dentist!

The hits just keep coming.  Now comes word from Richard Sandomir of the New York Times that NBC Sports head honcho Dick Ebersol is resigning.  From Sandomir's Twitter page...

AA has just received an advanced copy of Those Guys Have All The Fun: Inside The World of ESPN, written by James Andrew Miller and Tom Shales.  Yes, it's true, the book does come in at 745 pages.  It's an impressive piece of work.  Judging from the excerpts released and what I've been able to skim through so far, the book will certainly be worth the read.  Off the top, the first thing I wanted to investigate was ESPN's Monday Night Football booth and the Tony Kornheiser experiment, especially after reading this tweet from Deitsch.  Was there any animosity behind the scenes regarding TK on MNF?  The book makes it clear that Tirico and Kornheiser's working relationship was terrible and their lack of chemistry led to TK's ultimate departure from the MNF booth and the arrival of Jon Gruden.  Below are actual excerpts from Those Guys on Kornheiser, Tirico, and Monday Night Football...

Mike Tirico:

The football game is surrounded by a bevy of wide-ranging opinions in the pregame shows, the postgame shows, and the talk shows during the week.  People come to the game for the game itself.  So we were trying to make what Tony does best - strong opinions - work within the body of the game; that was the challenge.

Tony Kornheiser:

We had a lot of philosophical disagreements, especially about the extent to which it was an entertainment show.  When they had guests in the booth, many of them stunk beyond words.  I was for MNF as I remembered it as a child with Cosell and Meredith and Gifford, but Mike really just wanted to be the play by play guy on MNF...

Early on together I said, "Mike you know what really works well on PTI is when Mike and I talk over each other -" and he cut me off right there and says, "That's a nice little studio show, but MNF is very important, so don't ever interrupt me when I'm talking."... for two years he didn't even look at me.

Look, am I happy now?  Absolutely.  In PTI, I've got the best show in America...  But I thought I could have been better on MNF...  But the happiest guy in America today is Mike Tirico, because I'm not in that booth and he's got a coach, so he doesn't have to worry about anything else.

Bill Simmons:

Tirico's always been nice to me, and I think he's a talented guy, but I thought how he acted was unforgivable, and I continue to feel bad for Tony... I had watched all of those Kornheiser games thinking, "If I was in that spot, and the expectation was that I was supposed to entertain, and had this guy with me who was subtly undermining me, changing the subject on me and greeting my jokes with dead silence, I would eventually strangle this person on live TV."  Kornheiser is a better person than I am, apparently.

Simmons:

Tirico doesn't sell for Tony for three f*cking years, then has the gall to say nice things about him after Tony leaves?  Come on.  What kills me is that Tony got the rap for blowing this when nobody on the planet can succeed in TV if their play-by-play guy isn't selling them.  Five minutes into their first regular-season Monday night game, Tirico had already laughed at more Gruden jokes than he did for three years of Kornheiser.

_________________________________________________________________________

Wow.  A few thoughts on this excerpt and what I've gathered from the media coverage and other excerpts thus far...

 

It's been a couple days since our last Tony Kornheiser post - he demands more attention. Well, he's got it.

Colts owner Jim Irsay diminished the craft and nuance of writing when he tweeted recently that he and Jeff Saturday "could get this thing done on cocktail napkins, over a long lunch at Rick's Boatyard."  'This thing,' of course, is the NFL's collective bargaining agreement.

Tony Kornheiser thought that to be a preposterous proposition coming from a man in 'the son business' -- cocktail napkins are way too damn small:

“What inflames this is a complete bozo, like Jimmy Irsay,” Kornheiser said. “Jimmy Irsay, who inherited his team. Worked very hard in the American way. He was in what Dan Jenkins used to call ‘The son business.’ He inherits a team, and now he says, ‘Jeff Saturday and I could hang out, we could go clubbing, we could work this out on a napkin at Ralph’s Boathouse.’”

"Jimmy Irsay, the rest of the owners wouldn’t trust Jimmy Irsay to call a cab for them,” Kornheiser continued. “Just so we understand that. They would not. Now, when the Krafts of the world, Kraft says, ‘This is hurting us with fans,’ he’s a reasonable guy. They would trust Kraft. There’s four or five owners that the other owners would trust to get involved in this.”

Irsay, who probably prefers to be called J.I., responded on Twitter:

“T.Kornheiser is a mean-spirited chump! When he can win 115 games n a decade,build a top 3 stadium,win n host a Super Bowl,then he can chirp! I think he used 2 b Bill Tobin’s mailman…but that would b an insult 2 mail men! I just droppin’ knowledge…”

San Jose Sharks' left winger Ben Eager was a frequent visitor to the penalty box on Wednesday night against the Vancouver Canucks - five trips to the box and six penalties for a total of 20 minutes. Maybe he liked the view, which was very clear on CBC's broadcast:

Even if it's because of a pair of blurry boobs, CBC has to enjoy the free advertising it'll receive as a result of this flash.

This also made for a rather fitting description of Eager's late, meaningless goal (which he aggressively celebrated while his team still trailed, 7-3) on NHL.com:

                           Ben Eager added a late goal for window dressing.

pic via

This isn't exactly sports media and you've probably seen a fair share of rain delay videos, but I'd be remiss if I didn't proudly say that I graduated from Davidson College in 2008 and played on the baseball team, so this is near and dear to my heart. I might also be able to add a little something extra on rain delay antics.

First, here's the video via Tosh.0:

These type of shenanigans never happened while I was at Davidson unfortunately, but we didn't just sit around and twiddle our thumbs. We'd play pepper, flip, pseudo-pebble tennis or whatever that game with a cup and a fake pebble was called, and other random things. Sometimes we'd tape up an old baseball, start a game of tic-tac-toe or draw up a hypothetical trade, and throw it to the other dugout. They'd either play their turn in tic-tac-toe/counter the trade offer, or just write "No" and toss it back. Good times. But, man, I wish I got a chance to partake in the above. The moose hunting and curling are instant classics, as was Clemson's tanning bed. If I had a shot at this I'd probably suggest, hmmmm, an aerobics class, a Beyonce music video, mock surgery or ... I don't know?! I don't think it gets much better than human curling - and it's less demented than the human centipede.

Wednesday May 18

Colorado Rockies @ Philadelphia Phillies (ESPN 7PM) Dave O'Brien, Nomar Garciaparra

Thursday May 19

Pittsburgh Pirates @ Cincinnati Reds (MLB 12:30PM) Local Broadcast [Alternate Game: Washington @ N.Y. Mets 1PM]
Detroit Tigers @ Boston Red Sox (MLBN 7PM) TBA [Alternate Game: Baltimore @ N.Y. Yankees]

Friday May 20

Chicago Cubs @ Boston Red Sox (MLBN 7PM) Local Broadcast [Alternate Game: N.Y. Mets @ N.Y. Yankees]

Saturday May 21

Los Angeles Dodgers @ Chicago White Sox (MLBN 2PM) Local Broadcast [Alternate Game: St. Louis @ Kansas City]
New York Mets @New York Yankees (FOX 7PM) Joe Buck, Tim McCarver
Chicago Cubs @ Boston Red Sox (FOX 7PM) Kenny Albert, Eric Karros
Oakland A's @ San Francisco Giants (FOX 7PM) Dick Stockton, Mark Grace
Texas Rangers @ Philadelphia Phillies (FOX 7PM) Matt Vasgersian, Tom Grieve
Atlanta Braves @ Los Angeles Angels (MLBN 10PM) Local Broadcast [Alternate Game: Minnesota @Arizona]

Sunday May 22

New York Mets @ New York Yankees (TBS 1PM) Brian Anderson, John Smoltz
Chicago Cubs @ Boston Red Sox (ESPN 8PM) Dan Shulman, Orel Hershiser, Bobby Valentine

H/T Sammy!

Recently, we told you about Dan Le Batard's new upcoming ESPN2 show, Dan Le Batard Is Highly Questionable, which will debut on September 12th and see him sweat for a half hour every weekday at 4pm ET.  Le Batard's new show is only part of an effort by the folks in Bristol to overhaul the ESPN2 afternoon lineup with more original TV programming.  Sports Media Watch points out an interesting facet of info that has gone under the radar in the avalanche of ESPN PR and ESPN PR nightmares.  Jim Rome and Rome is Burning will move from ESPN to ESPN2 as a part of the deuce's new Fall lineup.  It may seem like a demotion for Rome, but keep in mind that ESPN2 has surpassed the 100 million homes mark and is in almost as many homes as the leader itself.  Here's the lineup of shows that ESPN2 will offer beginning with Le Batard's debut on 9/12 from ESPN...

"ESPN2 will have a new afternoon lineup from 3-6 p.m. ET beginning Monday, September 12. The revamped lineup will include two new studio shows, Dan Le Batard is Highly Questionable and Numbers Don’t Lie, along with the highly popular NASCAR Now, Jim Rome is Burning, and SportsNation."

Le Batard's half hour show will air from 4-4:30 ET and be preceded by another new show, Numbers Don't Lie at 3:30 ET.  The concept of the Numbers Don't Lie show seems like it could have potential.  The input of a fantasy and numbers driven show is also something that ESPN's afternoon lineup doesn't offer currently.  Anything with picks, predictions, and breaking down and comparing players through lists or rankings will appeal to a certain audience and could succeed depending on what personalities host the show.  Other times haven't been announced, but Rome is Burning could stay at 4:30 ET with Nascar Now airing at 3 ET and SportsNation going up against Around the Horn and PTI as a hypothetical lineup.  

Sorry for fans of the hour cameo of the Scott Van Pelt Show on ESPN2, but it looks like the TV version is going on the chopping block.  Oh well, I have a feeling it won't be missed.  What will be really interesting to see is how Bristol fills the gap at 4:30 ET on ESPN as a lead-in to the juggernauts that are Around the Horn and PTI.  Will they go with another half hour block similar to NFL Live or College Football Live, move Outside the Lines, or come up with a new concept?  It remains to be seen.

I give Bristol credit for at least being willing to explore more concepts and more original programming instead of rebroadcasting radio hours or other standard debate shows.  It gives sports fans and people interested in ESPN something else to talk about while waiting for this to happen when the ESPN book is finally released.  The focus on creating a more meaningful afternoon lineup for ESPN2 is a wise move by the leader... I suppose the network has come a long way since Keith Olbermann signed on by saying, "Good evening and welcome to the end of our careers."

What would you like to see ESPN do with its afternoon programming?

Sorry to fans of terrible, terrible sitcoms, but it looks like Colin Cowherd's upcoming CBS show based on his life has been rejected by the network.  Apparently the pilot episode of "Herd Mentality" starring Damon Wayans as Colin Cowherd (what, Tom Arnold wasn't available?) didn't move the network enough to pick up a full season.  Reaction to AA's Twitter account seemed to fall somewhere between "There is a God" and "Thank God."  

Personally, I'm shocked.  I figured a dramatized version of Cowherd's show focused on dumbed-down interactions of Cowherd with his sexy co-host and less sexy wife would fit CBS's largest demographic (yes, I'm looking at you viewers of Two And A Half Men!).  But thankfully, it looks like you and I only have to continue to avoid Cowherd on SportsNation and his daily radio show without worrying about an invasion of primetime tv.

Of course, any readers of this site should know our opinion of Cowherd.  His elitism mixed with overly broad stereotypes and disdain for any passionate sports fan living between the East and West coast makes his radio show unbearable for most of the country.  There is no national sports radio talk show host who intentionally speaks to a more narrow audience, and seems to be proud of it.  His borderline racist rant on John Wall earlier this season was at best incredibly naive and at worst a distasteful ploy for attention and ratings.   In short, Cowherd is a perfect example of what's wrong with today's sports media, so the rejection of his sitcom should come as a victory to all.

However, hope remains alive for two other ESPN-based sitcoms based on NFL analyst Mark Schlereth (also being developed by CBS) and a pilot for ABC depicting Mike and Mike host Mike Greenberg.  I'm sorry, but could you have picked two more random ESPN personalities to have as the center of a network comedy?  Does anyone want to watch Mark Schlereth sell green chile or Mike Greenberg search for a sanitary toilet?  It makes me think what other past and present ESPN personalities could have made it big with their own tv shows...

Chris Berman vs. Sweat
-Follow Chris Berman's trail of sweat as Boomer chronicles his escapades as, literally, a larger-than-life ESPN personality.  How many towels will Boomer need as he covers the 1st round of the NFL Draft?  What about his detours up north to grab some deux, deux, deuxs.  Watch as Boomer continues his unending search for air conditioning.  Think Man vs. Food, only even smellier!

 Steve Phillips, Ladies' Man
-Steve Phillips knows what it takes to nab that less-than-cute intern while also losing his job.  Learn how to hide your workplace affair from your spouse, at least until your mistress goes batsh*t crazy! With expert analysis on creepy pickup lines from Mike Tirico and multimedia advice from Sean Salisbury!

Useless Stats You Can't Use With Jayson Stark
-What's Alfonso Soriano's batting average off of left-handers on Tuesdays when outdoors?  How many fastballs could Josh Beckett throw if Josh Beckett could chuck wood?  What's the VORP and WAR of Tony LaRussa's shingles?  Stump even the biggest stat geeks with ESPN MLB writer Jayson Stark!

Law & Order: Bristol, CT
-In a small town, everyone knows your name, especially when you work at ESPN.  Catch the drama as high-priced attorneys defend ESPN personalities from charges ranging from domestic abuse to drunk driving to child pornography.

Everybody Hates Skip Bayless
-I think this one pretty much explains itself... 

[H/T The Big Lead]

***Update 5/18 (4 PM ET) - It appears that Mark Schlereth's pilot, Home Game, was not picked up by CBS either according to a Tweet from Schlereth himself.  Mike Greenberg is now the leader's only sitcom hope... what a world this is in which we live.