"Just swim for those balls" was enough for Comcast SportsNet's Chick Hernandez to have his own Charley Steiner moment recently on a broadcast. It might seem easy to criticize Hernandez for apparently still having the sense of humor of an 8-year-old, but this is an issue where I can totally sympathize with him. Personally, I still laugh every time I see a commercial for an IBM computer and I hope that when the world ends ICBM missiles are there to end it all giving us one more good laugh. I completely agree with Louie C.K. that farts are just about the funniest thing imaginable (go here for the full breakdown, start at 2:15, but then just watch the whole thing because it's Louie C.K.). Hernandez stumbles through the story finally just succumbing to his own laughter before a not amused Julie Donaldson takes over.

It's ok Chick, the word "balls" was said. We all heard it. While we are here, do you have any interest in joining the Pen 15 club? Look at this cool video I found on youtube. And, are you PT?

[DC Sports Bog]

This is truly the biggest matchup we've had so far in the Joe Morgan Memorial Tournament with two of the pre-tourney favorites going head to head in the Elite 8.  This battle of two awful members of the bowels of the sports media is worthy of a final, but only one will earn a place in the semifinals.  Colin Cowherd of The Herd and SportsNation takes on ESPN counterpart Skip Bayless of First Take and 1st & 10.  One will advance to be the third semifinalist in our tournament to put a new face on Awful Announcing's Mount Rushmore.  Let's just all be thankful these two haven't crossed paths for any sort of conversation or debate on the airwaves... yet.  That would surely be the worst moment in the history of sports television... and that's not hyperbole.

Colin Cowherd vs Skip Bayless

Colin Cowherd

Fact File: Host of ESPN Radio's The Herd and co-host of SportsNation on ESPN2

Why He's Here: When polled last month, nearly 85% of respondents said that ESPN should end its relationship with Colin Cowherd.  His stereotyping and pontificating are legendary for all the wrong reasons.  Very few in the sports media get away with offensive and flat out wrong statements like Cowherd has the ability to do.  Cowherd likes to pander to intellectual elites and openly mock large portions of his audience.  Thankfully, CBS passed on a sitcom pilot based on the life of Cowherd.

Links:

Cowherd Shuts Down The Big Lead Just To Be A Douche
Cowherd's Ignorant and Insensitive Take On Sean Taylor's Death
Cowherd's Race Bating Includes Ridiculous Comments Towards John Wall
Cowherd Tells The Unemployed It's Your Own Fault

Round 1 Result: Defeated Bobby Valentine 88.47% - 11.53%
Round 2 Result: Defeated Joe Theismann 61.71% - 38.29% 

Skip Bayless

Fact File: "Star" of ESPN's First Take and 1st & 10

Why He's Here: The former antagonizing columnist transformed into an antagonizing TV personality with his transition to first Cold Pizza and then First Take on ESPN2.  Bayless traditionally squares off against a debate partner in segments that contain enough hot air to lift the Hindenburg.  Often, Bayless will say outlandish things just for the sake of saying outlandish things.  Thankfully, most people have stopped listening.

Links:

Rob Parker & Skip Bayless Said What About Chad Ochocinco
Skip Bayless And Chris Broussard Have Exchange For The Ages
Nelly: Why rappers want to kick Skip Bayless' butt on ESPN
The Best (Worst) Of Skip Bayless - 2006

Round 1 Result: Defeated Woody Paige 77.91% - 22.09%
Round 2 Result: Defeated John Sterling 64.14% - 35.86%

Results: Colin Cowherd defeated Skip Bayless 65.43% - 34.57%

Feel the excitement AA, because we are officially one step closer to the Pammies!  Today, ESPN released their college football announcing assignments for the upcoming season.  Brent Musberger and Kirk Herbstreit are back as the A team on ABC Saturday Night Football along with Erin Andrews.  Brad Nessler and Todd Blackledge stay put on ESPN's primetime game.  Below are all the announcer pairings for ABC, ESPN, ESPN2, and ESPNU and then some thoughts on the pairings and the changes after the jump.


***Update: Evidently ESPN made a slight boo-boo with the initial announcement.  The one and only Pam Ward won't be working with Danny Kanell.  Kanell will team with Rob Stone while Matt Stinchcomb gets a nice parting gift on his way back to the ESPNU studio.  Instead, Pam will be joined by former Colorado coach Dan Hawkins.  A-ma-zing.  Just imagine the possibilities with Hawkins' slightly imbalanced yet brilliant mind.  Who can forget this?  



Just once let me hear the words, "IT'S DIVISION ONE FOOTBALL, PAM!!"

When exactly did ESPN lose its journalistic integrity?  It's a difficult question to answer, but one that certainly needs to be asked in light of the Bruce Feldman fiasco.  Granted, trying to sort through the answer to this question is an exercise more suited for an educated journalism professor or the Poynter Institute instead of a sports fan who's a grad student in chemistry.  Although, I will spare you ten minutes reading Poynter's response to the situation by summing it up in one word... weak.   Our own Ben Koo took down Poynter's lame response in grand style yesterday.

In fact, any critique of ESPN, either by bloggers or their own ombudsman, may be entirely fruitless.  Attempting any criticism of ESPN at this point is like attacking a battleship with a BB Gun.  Quite simply, ESPN is a monopoly sports fans can't live without.  Many are of the mindset that we as fans should just accept ESPN's faults and learn to live with them, no matter how glaring they grow by the day.

But, stop to consider what we've been through the last several days.  Even though the #FreeBruce revolution on Twitter will quickly be forgotten, ESPN sat (we can play semantics all we want) a man with supreme journalistic integrity for merely doing a job he'd already been approved to do.  So why the "enforced period of inactivity?"  Apparently because writer Bruce Feldman helped confirm the worst fears about fellow ESPNer Craig James and shed light on the shady practices of supposed straight news reporter Joe Schad.  As if the "suspension" alone weren't bad enough though, ESPN's lame PR statement failed to hide their mistakes throughout the Mike Leach story.  

Apparently, ESPN and Poynter would like all of us to get caught up in the semantics of the word suspension and feel guilty for being bad bloggers by spreading mean, nasty rumors.  And while no amount of blog posts, boycotts, and hashtags will make a sizable dent in what's left of the mothership's appearance of integrity, we as sports fans have a right to examine the credibility gap now present at ESPN.  Ask yourself, how long will it take to fully believe ESPN again when it reports the news?  How long should your skepticism last?  If the lessons of #FreeBruce aren't forgotten within our ADHD 24-hour news cycle, the credibility gap between ESPN and its viewers should be permanently at the forefront of fans' minds...

In the newest AA Podcast one of the funniest men in all of sports, David Feherty of CBS Sports and the Golf Channel, stops by to talk about his acclaimed new show Feherty on the Golf Channel and countryman Darren Clarke's win this past weekend in the British Open.  AA also chats with David about... 

-The recent successes of golfers from Northern Ireland and the dominance of European golf.
-Opening up about his battles with alcoholism and depression.
-The challenges of Feherty the television show.
-The chances of Tiger Woods breaking Jack's major record.
-The future of the game of golf with or without Tiger.

In between, David shows his incredible sense of humor that got him through the lowest points in his life and has brought him to being one of the most likable announcers in sports.  This is a candid, reflective, hilarious, and insightful interview from one of the absolute best in the business.  You can also download all of our podcasts on iTunes as we will hope to bring you more of the best in the sports media in the future.  Hope you enjoy!

Two dark horses face off in our second Elite Eight matchups as ESPN's lightning rod for present criticism, Craig James, takes on ESPN's lightning rod for past criticism, Stephen A. Smith.  Thanks to the 2900 of you that voted yesterday in our first E8 matchup!  Quite frankly (see what I did there), Stephen A. is much less visible than he was in his heyday, yet his screaming still resonates with sports fans years after his peak of visibility.  Craig James has been the scorn of the blogosphere in the last couple weeks with the documented revelations of his true sleaziness revealed in Mike Leach's new book and #FreeBruce.  You will choose who faces Chris Berman in the Final Four of the Joe Morgan Memorial Tournament.  

Stephen A. Smith vs Craig James



Stephen A. Smith

Fact File: ESPN NBA reporter/analyst/debater... well, actually he's not around that much anymore

Why He's Here: Stephen A. is a hard man to find these days.  After the mistake that was Quite Frankly and his period of overexposure, Smith faded away.  Somehow, he has a job hosting shows on ESPN Radio in New York and Los Angeles and still makes the sporadic TV appearance appearing on First Take, subbing for Jim Rome, and in other various nether regions of the leader.  It's enough for us to give Screamin' A. a place on the list.

Links:

Stephen A on Kwame Brown
Stephen A voted AA/AOL's Worst Sports Announcer (2007)
Stephen A Says Goodbye To ESPN
Stephen A Has Heard Something Terrible About LeBron James

Round 1 Result: Defeated Stuart Scott 51.45% - 48.55%
Round 2 Result: Defeated Tony Siragusa 63.91% - 36.09%

Craig James

Fact File: ESPN college football game and studio analyst

Why He's Here: James became an integral part of one of college football's biggest stories when his son Adam's allegations of being locked in a closet led to Mike Leach's firing at Texas Tech.  This led to an awkward series of revelations made by Leach about Craig's meddling in his program, lawsuits, and other developments.  ESPN was put in the position of having one of their analysts be an integral part of the controversy.  How did Craig James respond?  Well, rumor has it he wants to be a Senator of course.  And now that his coverup and controversy briefly resulted in the "suspension" of respected CFB writer Bruce Feldman, James is more despised than ever.

Links:

The Mike Leach Book Excerpts Make Craig James Look Like An Even Bigger Douche
Craig James Wants You To Help Texans Help Save America
Announcer working Alamo Bowl gets Alamo Bowl coach suspended
Craig James running to the Senate
Craig James loses it

Round 1 Result: Defeated Mike Patrick  75.17% - 24.83%
Round 2 Result: Defeated Rick Reilly 66.32% - 33.68%

Results:

Craig James defeated Stephen A. Smith 60.76% - 39.24% 

In my opinion, Jay Bilas tweeting Jeezy lyrics provides tremendous upside and potential to the internet. I picked a couple highlights from his twitter feed, but I highly recommend going to his page because there is so many to enjoy from these last couple of days. Obviously, many were suspicious and the prevailing thought had to be that Bilas had been hacked...I mean, just soak this in.

I mean, no way that could be this guy, right?

I follow Jay on twitter and he's definitely an interesting follow. The majority of Bilas' tweets usually deal with the always controversial issue of amateurism and the legality of the NCAA to enforce their rules. You know, typical nerd Duke stuff. It always seemed liked Bilas was kind of reinforcing that other ugly Duke stereotype, that one where those who attend school in Durham are a bunch of L7 weenies that are destined to be the next generation of Judge Smails'. Well, Jay kind of shattered that one here.

I can't help but think that Bilas being a Jeezy fan isn't somewhat a product of him rebelling against the terrors of his work environment. Jay has the extremely unenviable position of spending the majority of his time with Joe Morgan Memorial Tournament bubble snub, Digger Phelps. Digger's idea of cool is wearing ties that match his highlighter and picking Notre Dame basketball to win it all every year. Digger is so obnoxious he even somehow makes me do the impossible, feel sympathy for a Dookie. Traveling around on a bus with him just might be how we should punish prisoners in the future.

No doubt in my mind that the Jay Bilas and Young Jeezy combination has to go down as one of the highlights in the history of this "series of tubes" that we call the internet.

Here is your 2011-2012 NBA on TNT crew and schedule [via press release]. Seeing as there is currently a lockout and it's unlikely the season will start on time (if at all), this will obviously need updating. Let's just hope there is a season, so we can see Shaq and Sir Charles in business together sooner, rather than later.

The NBA on TNT’s marquee roster of NBA announcers includes the studio team featuring two-time Emmy® Award-winning host Ernie Johnson, two-time NBA champion Kenny Smith, four-time NBA champion Shaquille O’Neal and Hall of Famer Charles Barkley, along with select studio appearances by five-time NBA All-Star Chris Webber.  On-site game announcers include: Marv Albert (play-by-play), Kevin Harlan (play-by-play), five-time NBA champion Steve Kerr (analyst), Reggie Miller (analyst), Mike Fratello (analyst), David Aldridge (reporter), Cheryl Miller (reporter) and Craig Sager (reporter). 

TNT’s 52-game schedule is listed below. All times shown are Eastern.

TNT 2011-2012 NBA REGULAR SEASON TELECAST SCHEDULE

Nov. 1 Tuesday 7 p.m. TNT NBA Tip-Off ‘11 presented by Autotrader.com 
8 p.m. Chicago Bulls @ Dallas Mavericks 
10:30 p.m. Oklahoma City Thunder @ L.A. Lakers

Nov. 3 Thursday 8 p.m. Orlando Magic @ Miami Heat
10:30 p.m. Denver Nuggets @ Portland Trail Blazers

Nov. 10 Thursday 8 p.m. Oklahoma City Thunder @ Chicago Bulls
10:30 p.m. San Antonio Spurs @ Portland Trail Blazers

Nov. 17 Thursday 8 p.m. Boston Celtics @ Orlando Magic
10:30 p.m. New York Knicks @ L.A. Lakers

Nov. 24 Thursday 8 p.m. Philadelphia 76ers @ Atlanta Hawks
10:30 p.m. New Orleans Hornets @ L.A. Clippers

Dec. 1 Thursday 8 p.m. Miami Heat @ Boston Celtics
10:30 p.m. Oklahoma City Thunder @ Denver Nuggets

Dec. 8 Thursday 8 p.m. L.A. Lakers @ Miami Heat
10:30 p.m. Boston Celtics @ Portland Trail Blazers

Dec. 15 Thursday 7 p.m. Philadelphia 76ers @ New York Knicks
9:30 p.m. L.A. Lakers @ Dallas Mavericks

Dec. 22 Thursday 8 p.m. New York Knicks @ Boston Celtics
10:30 p.m. L.A. Clippers @ Denver Nuggets

Dec. 29 Thursday 7 p.m. San Antonio Spurs @ Orlando Magic
9:30 p.m. Dallas Mavericks @ Oklahoma City Thunder

Jan. 12 Thursday 8 p.m. New York Knicks @ Memphis Grizzlies
10:30 p.m. Orlando Magic @ Golden State Warriors

Jan. 16 Monday 8 p.m. Oklahoma City Thunder @ Boston Celtics
10:30 p.m. Dallas Mavericks @ L.A. Lakers

Jan. 19 Thursday 8 p.m. Chicago Bulls @ Miami Heat
10:30 p.m. Dallas Mavericks @ Utah Jazz

Jan. 26 Thursday 8 p.m. Miami Heat @ Orlando Magic
10:30 p.m. L.A. Lakers @ L.A. Clippers

Feb. 2 Thursday 8 p.m. Chicago Bulls @ New York Knicks
10:30 p.m. Phoenix Suns @ Golden State Warriors

Feb. 9 Thursday 8 p.m. L.A. Lakers @ Boston Celtics
10:30 p.m. Oklahoma City Thunder @ Sacramento Kings

Feb. 16 Thursday 8 p.m. Boston Celtics @ Chicago Bulls
10:30 p.m. L.A. Clippers @ Portland Trail Blazers

Feb. 20 Monday 8 p.m. Boston Celtics @ Dallas Mavericks
10:30 p.m. L.A. Clippers @ Golden State Warriors

Feb. 23 Thursday 8 p.m. New York Knicks @ Miami Heat
10:30 p.m. San Antonio Spurs @ Denver Nuggets 

******NBA ALL-STAR WEEKEND ****************

Feb. 24 Friday NBA Rookie Challenge
Feb. 25 Saturday NBA All-Star Saturday
Feb. 26 Sunday 2011 NBA All-Star Game from Orlando

********************************************

Mar. 1 Thursday 8 p.m. Oklahoma City Thunder @ Orlando Magic
10:30 p.m. Miami Heat @ Portland Trail Blazers

Mar. 8 Thursday 8 p.m. L.A. Lakers @ Chicago Bulls
10:30 p.m. Dallas Mavericks @ Phoenix Suns

Mar. 19 Monday 8 p.m. Chicago Bulls @ Orlando Magic
10:30 p.m. Dallas Mavericks @ Denver Nuggets

Mar. 29 Tuesday 8 p.m. Dallas Mavericks @ Miami Heat
 10:30 p.m. Oklahoma City Thunder @ L.A. Lakers

Apr. 5 Thursday 8 p.m. New York Knicks @ Orlando Magic
10:30 p.m. Boston Celtics @ Chicago Bulls

Apr. 12 Thursday 8 p.m. Miami Heat @ Chicago Bulls
10:30 p.m. Dallas Mavericks @ Golden State Warriors

Apr. 17 Tuesday 8 p.m. Boston Celtics @ New York Knicks
10:30 p.m. San Antonio Spurs @ L.A. Lakers

The NBA on ABC/ESPN schedule is after the jump...

Here is the national MLB TV schedule for the week.  Sunday Night Baseball will be in Cincinnati to see Brandon Phillips and the Reds host the Braves.  It will be interesting to see how Fox treats their broadcast of the same game with Reds pbp man Thom Brennaman being joined by former Red Sean Casey in the booth.  The early week is highlighted by the Cardinals visiting New York to take on the Mets.

Tuesday July 19

Philadelphia Phillies @ Chicago Cubs (MLBN 8PM) Local Broadcast [Alt: Atlanta @ Colorado - 8:30PM]

Wednesday July 20

St. Louis Cardinals @ New York Mets (ESPN 7PM) Dave O'Brien, Nomar Garciaparra

Thursday July 21

St. Louis Cardinals @ New York Mets (MLBN Noon) Local Broadcast [Alt: San Diego @ Florida]
New York Yankees @ Tampa Bay Rays (MLBN 7PM) TBA [Alt: Detroit @ Minnesota - 8PM]

Friday July 22

Atlanta Braves @ Cincinnati Reds (MLBN 7PM) Local Broadcast [Alt: San Diego @ Philadelphia]

Saturday July 23

San Diego Padres @ Philadelphia Phillies (FOX 4PM) Kenny Albert, Eric Karros
Atlanta Braves @ Cincinnati Reds (FOX 4PM) Thom Brennaman, Sean Casey
Detroit Tigers @ Minnesota Twins (FOX 4PM) Dick Stockton, Rod Allen
Chicago White Sox @ Cleveland Indians (WGNA 7PM) Ken Harrelson, Steve Stone
Milwaukee Brewers @ San Francisco Giants (MLBN 9PM) Local Broadcast [Alt: Colorado @ Arizona - 8PM]

Sunday July 24

Seattle Mariners @ Boston Red Sox (TBS 1:30PM) Brian Anderson, Ron Darling, David Wells
Chicago Cubs @ Houston Astros (WGNA 2PM) Len Kasper, Bob Brenly
Atlanta Braves @ Cincinnati Reds (ESPN 8PM) Dan Shulman, Orel Hershiser, Bobby Valentine

H/T Sammy! 

We've been closely following the Bruce Feldman suspension "timeout" due to his involvement in Mike Leach's autobiography. Matt had a great piece last week and things have moved fast since the story broke, as ESPN has scrambled to try to save face. Today, they got some good air cover, as the Poynter Institute, who serves as ESPN's Ombudsman, jumped in with a thinly veiled defense of ESPN's handling of the situation. The piece included feedback from only ESPN personnel and failed on many levels to have an honest conversation about the incident, the fallout, and ESPN's continued involvement with Feldman or Craig James.

AA editor, Matt Yoder, sent me this note when I asked him for his thoughts, as he can be the voice of reason whenever some of us at AA get a little riled up:

"Read the Poynter piece and all I can say is that it only leaves more questions.  Without word from Feldman or Brooks, are we just supposed to believe ESPN's word passed down to Poynter that Bruce wasn't suspended?  That seems baseless and does nothing to fix the credibility gap at hand.  The Poynter piece is so nuanced and muddied that it really ends up saying nothing.  It also never speaks of the elephant in the room - if Feldman suffered a conflict of interest, what was ESPN thinking with Craig James?"

Matt's take was one of many in disbelief that the Ombudsman piece seemed like an extension of ESPN PR and damage control. In fact, here are some tweets that caught my eye in the hours after the article went live and a takedown of Poynter's disappointing article...