It's Masters week, and that means a few things - the biggest golf tournament of the year, the dawn of Spring, and one of the best and most recognizable themes in all of sports.  That got the gears spinning in my sometimey working brain as to where the iconic Augusta theme ranks among the best in sports on television.  So, here are the Top 10 current themes for sporting events on American television.  Sorry to our Hockey Night in Canada fans or holdouts for the classic NBA on NBC theme.  This list is about as subjective as you can get, so leave us a comment below on your personal favorite theme!

10) Wimbledon (NBC)
-The Wimbledon theme is one of the most unique out there and its longevity has seen it as a Summer mainstay.  Anything with a trumpet fanfare has to be a winner, right?

9) NBA on TNT
-You know a theme is good when you can hear it night after night after night for two months straight and it doesn't get old.  The NBA Playoffs, coming soon!





8) CBS College Football
-Believe it or not, this theme goes back to at least 1987.  Thankfully, CBS has stuck with it for over two decades and for good reason.  Thankfully, they haven't devolved their theme into becoming a mindless SEC chant.

Now, for the most important news of the day...Doug Gottlieb hated the ending of There Will Be Blood. Yes, that means the millkshake scene and the final epic confrontation between Eli and Daniel Plainview were not up to Gottlieb's standards. I'll admit I'm biased here, There Will Be Blood might be my favorite movie of all-time AND Doug Gottlieb might be the single most annoying person on ESPN these days (LOTS of competition)... BUT how could he like the rest of Blood and hate the ending?!? I understand that Blood was kind of unique, and had a somewhat slow pace to it that probably lost some people... but the ending might be the most satisfying to a movie I can remember!  Oh well, college basketball season is over. That means Gottlieb is hopefully off our TV's for months, and that to me is a satisfying ending to this college basketball season.
 

Everyone knew it was coming and Jim Nantz delivered ... thrice. As time was expiring in yesterday's musty, musty National Championship game between Butler and UConn, Nantz (most likely) licked his lips, stuck out his chest, and brayed what he has probably practiced literally thousands of times since Saturday's semis: And the Huskies are the top dog in 2011!

But he wasn't done. No, he sure fooled us. Here we were trying to guess which pun Nantz would use and he goes ahead and drops THREE on us. Yes, three dog puns to wrap things up. Seconds after the first (spliced in the video below), Nantz basically reminded us that the two team mascots were dogs and that he was going to send it to commercial with another doggy pun: "Everyone talked about the dog fight coming in, right? Huskies and Bulldogs... [Kerr humors him as viewers groan, knowing exactly what's coming next] Well, one thing was very clear here tonight in Houston ... Connecticut wins best in show!"

It's just a shame Nantz didn't make a doggy style or bitch reference. With the cuss words CBS mics picked up during the game, I don't think it would've been a big deal for Nantz to get a little graphic. After all, he did drop his second Jersey Shore reference of the tournament last night when he said neither team was "getting it in." (Okay, that's not what he was talking about, but he did mention The Situation during the Elite Eight in Newark, New Jersey.)

As for the announcing in general, well, in a game that reminded me (and even others) of Sandy Lyle lettin' it rain, it was more excruciating to listen to Nantz than usual. We could've used some contrived excitement from the announcer, but can you think of anyone CBS could've used instead ... yeah, I can't either ... hmm ...

[huge fist bump to Bubbaprog for the specially requested video]

Jim Nantz started the game as he'll likely finish it: with a pun of some sort. It's time to settle the madness. CBS also started the end to this madness with the wrong camera angle at the beginning of the game, leaving the center court logo upside down to viewers. Not exactly synonymous, but reminds me of Rick Vaughn's attempt to shoot a Right Guard commercial. We'll check back in after the game with an inevitable Jim Nantz post.

[image via Instant Replay]

With the MLB season now fully underway, here is your national schedule for the coming week.  Fans should enjoy seeing a small variety of teams on national television before the Sawx and the Yanks continue their quest for world domination.  Oh, wait, you mean the Yankees and Red Sox are only on national television a collective ten times this week?  And they have a series against each other this weekend?  Wow... I thought they would really go under the radar this season...

Monday April 4

Minnesota Twins @ New York Yankees (ESPN 7PM) Sean McDonough, Aaron Boone, Rick Sutcliffe - Yankee Stadium Bronx, NY

Tuesday April 5

Minnesota Twins @ New York Yankees (MLBN 7PM) Local Broadcast - Yankee Stadium Bronx, NY

Wednesday April 6

Pittsburgh Pirates @ St. Louis Cardinals (MLBN 1:30PM) Local Broadcast - Busch Stadium, St. Louis, MO

Minnesota Twins @ New York Yankees (ESPN2 7PM) Dave O'Brien, Nomar Garciaparra - Yankee Stadium Bronx, NY

Thursday April 7

Boston Red Sox @ Cleveland Indians (MLBN Noon) Local Broadcast - Progressive Field, Cleveland, OH

Detroit Tigers @ Baltimore Orioles (MLBN 7PM) Local Broadcast - Oriole Park at Camden Yards, Baltimore, MD

Friday April 8

New York Yankees @ Boston Red Sox (MLBN 2PM) Bob Costas, Jim Kaat - Fenway Park Boston, MA

Philadelphia Phillies @ Atlanta Braves (MLBN 7:30PM) Local Broadcast - Turner Field, Atlanta, GA

Saturday April 9

New York Yankees @ Boston Red Sox (FOX 1PM) Joe Buck, Tim McCarver - Fenway Park Boston, MA

Philadelphia Phillies @ Atlanta Braves (FOX 1PM) TBA - Turner Field, Atlanta, GA

Chicago Cubs @ Milwaukee Brewers (MLBN 7PM) Local Broadcast - Miller Park, Milwaukee, WI

Sunday April 10

Philadelphia Phillies @ Atlanta Braves (TBS 1:30PM) Ernie Johnson, Ron Darling, John Smoltz - Turner Field, Atlanta, GA

New York Yankees @ Boston Red Sox (ESPN 8PM) Dan Shulman, Orel Hershiser, Bobby Valentine - Fenway Park Boston, MA
 

Jim Nantz has his own tradition unlike any other, and that is saying the absolute most cringeworthy pun or sappy thing at the conclusion of the National Championship game. It's very obvious that Nantz has his call of the final seconds scripted depending on the outcome of the game. Here's a sampling of some of them.

1. Arizona won it all in 1997 led by star Miles Simon. For this we got the double dipping of "A Milestone victory for Arizona!" from Nantz and than Billy Packer compounded the moment with the epically cheesy "Simon says Championship" line. Enjoy it here.

2. Michigan State in 2000 gave us the "you can leave it to Cleaves" line. Yeesh.

3. UNC's 2005 Championship was a banner game for Nantz. First he blessed us with this one..."It began in March, ended in April and it belongs to May." This was a reference to UNC star player Sean May. In that same game we also got the "there is a new dean in college basketball" line which is of course a reference to past UNC coach, Dean Smith.

There's been many more of course, but you get the point. Instead of dreading this inevitable moment, I thought we might make it more interesting by possibly predicting and assigning odds on the line Nantz will gag us with this year because we are all degenerate gamblers at heart. Let me first warn you that these ARE TERRIBLE AND AWFUL. I FEEL GREAT SHAME FOR EVEN THINKING THESE. Read on if you want my predictions of what we will be hearing about Tuesday morning.

It's a big week in the Association as we get closer to playoff time.  Here's the national TV schedule along with announcing assignments.  NBATV has six games to choose from, ESPN and ABC each have a doubleheader, and TNT has their usual Thursday night showcase.  The week is spotlighted by some great matchups including Celtics/Bulls, Celtics/Heat, and Thunder/Lakers... and Bobcats/Cavs of course.  

Tuesday April 5

Charlotte Bobcats @ Cleveland Cavaliers (NBA TV 7PM) Local Broadcast - Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, OH

Utah Jazz @ Los Angeles Lakers (NBA TV 10:30PM) Ernie Johnson, Kevin McHale, Chris Webber - Staples Center, Los Angeles, CA

Wednesday April 6

Milwaukee Bucks @ Miami Heat (ESPN 8PM) Mark Jones, Hubie Brown - American Airlines Arena Miami, FL

Los Angeles Lakers @ Golden State Warriors (ESPN 10:30PM) Dan Shulman, Mark Jackson - The Oracle Oakland, CA

Thursday April 7

Boston Celtics @ Chicago Bulls (TNT 8PM) Marv Albert, Mike Fratello – United Center, Chicago IL

Portland Trail Blazers @ Utah Jazz (TNT 10:30PM) Kevin Harlan, Reggie Miller – Energysolutions Arena, Salt Lake City, UT

Friday April 8

Phoenix Suns @ New Orleans Hornets (NBA TV 8PM) Local Broadcast - New Orleans Arena, New Orleans, LA

Saturday April 9

Utah Jazz @ San Antonio Spurs (NBA TV 8:30PM) Local Broadcast - AT&T Center, San Antonio, TX

Sunday April 10

Chicago Bulls @ Orlando Magic (ABC 1PM) Dave Pasch, Hubie Brown - Amway Arena Orlando, FL

Boston Celtics @ Miami Heat (ABC 3:30PM) Mike Breen, Mark Jackson - American Airlines Arena Miami, FL

New York Knicks @ Indiana Pacers (NBA TV, 7PM) Local Broadcast - Conseco Field House, Indianapolis, IN

Oklahoma City Thunder @ Los Angeles Lakers (NBA TV 10:30PM) Local Broadcast - Staples Center, Los Angeles, CA

H/T Sammy!

Last week, we learned that ESPN's Jalen Rose had been retroactively arrested for a DUI earlier in the month of March. Rose faces a court date later this month. Interestingly, we first heard about the news from a local television station in Detroit, WDIV, who beat ESPN at what would seem to be their own story. The response from ESPN after news of the arrest broke was fairly swift - Rose was pulled off ESPN television.  It is this decision by ESPN and the fallout from their overall response to Jalen Rose's arrest that is cause for discussion, analysis, and major questions for the folks at Bristol.  ESPN's practical monopoly over the sports world puts them in a position where the most criticism, analysis, and questioning exists.  In the case of Jalen Rose, there are plenty of questions to be asked of the Bristol machine.  After the jump, check out the entire story and ESPN's response to those unanswered questions we asked the network.

*Jalen Rose: Fab 5 producer + ESPN analyst

-Here's where Rose was first thrust into the monster that is ESPN promotion.  The family of networks heavily hyped ESPN's Fab Five documentary.  The doc scored for ESPN in the ratings department as the highest rated under the 30 for 30 umbrella... surely it was helped by a cavalcade of hosts and analysts proclaiming that it was among the best documentaries the network had produced.  While it was well done, the Fab Five program was also one of the most unbalanced ESPN documentaries under the acclaimed 30 for 30 label.  Perhaps that should be no surprise though - Fab Five member and ESPN analyst Jalen Rose was an executive producer for the project.  Rose made himself a further part of the story with his incendiary comments about African American basketball players at Duke as "Uncle Toms."  It was a controversial remark, even in the context of the documentary, yet it became more hype and more debate fodder.  The networks seized on that comment to create more publicity for Rose and the documentary and fill their hours of debate and discussion shows.

*The DUI arrest

-As the dust settled from the documentary controversy, we learned of Rose's DUI arrest.  Except, as pointed out here at AA, the timeline was all disjointed.  The public first learned of Rose's arrest weeks after the incident initially happened on March 11th.  ESPN, so often out in front of these stories, was beaten to the punch by a local TV station.  The initial response from ESPN was brief.  In one of the first ESPN.com articles about the story, a spokesman merely said the network was "looking into it."  ESPN then made the decision to pull Rose from appearing on television until the case could be sorted out.  Or did they... an ESPN spokesman had this to say in a decidedly vague response to the situation...

“Jalen has accepted full responsibility for his actions. Both parties are taking this very seriously, and as a result, we’ve agreed that he will not be on our air while he addresses this situation.”

Here's the details for not only the men's basketball Final Four in Houston, but also the women's Final Four in Indianapolis.  The men take center stage on Saturday and Monday night on CBS while the women will play Sunday and Tuesday night on ESPN.  Consider this your Open Thread for any comments throughout the weekend of championship basketball.  My guess is that Jim Nantz already has his prepared lines ready, including Shaka having the smarts to guide VCU to the title.  Enjoy!

Your Full National Basketball Championship Announcing Schedule For 4/2 - 4/5

Saturday April 2

NCAA Men's National Semi Finals - The Final Four

Virginia Commonwealth University Rams vs Butler Bulldogs (CBS 6PM) Jim Nantz, Clark Kellogg, Steve Kerr - Reliant Stadium, Houston, TX

Connecticut Huskies vs Kentucky Wildcats (CBS 8:30PM) Jim Nantz, Clark Kellogg, Steve Kerr - Reliant Stadium, Houston, TX

Sunday April 3

NCAA Women's National Semi Finals - The Final Four

Texas A&M Aggies vs Stanford Cardinal (ESPN 7PM) Dave O'Brien, Doris Burke - Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, IN

Notre Dame Fighting Irish vs Connecticut Huskies (ESPN 9PM) Dave O'Brien, Doris Burke - Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, IN

Monday April 4

NCAA Men's National Championship

Virginia Commonwealth University Rams/Butler Bulldogs vs Connecticut Huskies/Kentucky Wildcats (CBS 9PM) Jim Nantz, Clark Kellogg, Steve Kerr - Reliant Stadium, Houston, TX

Tuesday April 5

NCAA Women's National Championship

Texas A&M Aggies/Stanford Cardinal vs Notre Dame Fighting Irish/Connecticut Huskies (ESPN 8:30PM) Dave O'Brien, Doris Burke - Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, IN

H/T Sammy!  

I had the pleasure earlier today to speak with Bill Raftery of ESPN, CBS, and Westwood One where he will be announcing the Final Four this weekend around the country on radio with Kevin Kugler and John Thompson.  With trademark catchphrases like "ONIONS" and "man to man," Bill Raftery has become one of the most popular analysts in all of sports.  In addition to his humor and energy, Raftery also brings a wealth of knowledge as a basketball lifer.  In our latest Q&A, Bill talks to Awful Announcing about how he got into broadcasting, what VCU and Butler's run to the Final Four mean for college basketball, his response to Jay Bilas' Tweets, and of course, ONIONS!

Q: Tell us a little bit about your basketball background and how you got into broadcasting. 

A: Well I wasn't a good player, Matt, and then I wasn't a good coach, so it was an easy slide.  In the early days of my college career I met a man by the name of Bob Wolff and my coach asked me to show Bob around and he's a Hall of Fame announcer in the Baseball Hall of Fame.  He was doing a CBS game with us in the NIT.  Bob said, would you want to try and get in my business someday.  And that always stuck in my head, I ended up coaching for 16 years and just thought, let me give this a shot.  Dave Gavitt (former Big East commissioner) was nice enough one late October calling me at Seton Hall and saying look, you've got two days to let me know if you want to do this.  

I had two weeks of practice in in '81 and fortunately there was a Dave Gavitt in my life because the Big East was starting to mushroom and philosophically Seton Hall really wasn't ready for it.  A few years later PJ (Carlesimo) came in and worked hard and struggled and they finally stepped up and did the things everyone else was doing in terms of support and we ended up in the Final Four in '89.  So, that was sort of a tumultuous road to broadcasting.

Q: Everyone will want to know the origins of "Onions!"  Ian Eagle has put the story out there on the internet, is it true?

A: Ian's the one that says Kevin Edwards made a jumper in Miami (for the Nets).  It's something in that head of mine that popped out.  I was trying to be as descriptive as I could about how tough kids are and making big plays and finding ways to win the game and that sort of popped out.  Ian's got the memory man, I never question him, he's the vault.  

Q: So that was something spontaneous that just happened to come to mind?

A: Yea.  In those days a win for the Nets was unusual.  They were struggling and winning in Miami on the road made it sweeter with all the New York and Jersey people that live down there.  It was something that made sense at the time and I never said it for a while.  I guess it popped in once on one of the college games and fortunately it's part of the lexicon, or unfortunately, I'm not sure which.