With Opening Day upon us it's the perfect time for another edition of Create the Caption!  Last time out we featured Rick Pitino and the Louisville Cardinal wallowing in defeat at the hands of Morehead State.  cbweatherman was the winner with, "Mascot: You know that little chicken over there?  It's your son.  Pitino: How could this happen again?!?"  Thanks for participating!  Of course for MLB's Opening Day, we have to go to the NBA for our CtC and this hilarious image from Ball Don't Lie of 6'4" John Wall trying to fight 7'3" Zydrunas Ilgauskas.  Can you create the caption?



Far From Awful Links 

Since it is Opening Day, you simply have to check out this awesome article at GuysGirl.  Bloguin's reigning blogger of the year Blythe Brumleve has matched up every MLB team with a character from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  I know we were all mega fans 20 years ago!  Some random dude contributed as well.  [GuysGirl]

Josh Elliott has graduated from SportsCenter to Good Morning America to be a news reader at ABC.  Of the countless SportsCenter anchors, I thought Elliott was in the top handful as he mixed news and humor very well without overbearing schtick.  He'll be missed at the leader.  [ABC] 

Earlier this week, we showed you all the hate that Jay Bilas and others lobbed towards VCU before the tourney began.  We all know who gets the last laugh, especially with this shirt.  [Twitter] 

The new ESPN PR blog launched.  Meh.  [ESPN Front Row] 

As an alum of a D-III school, the story of the kid getting in the college slam dunk contest is kinda cool.  [Deadspin] 

Speaking of D-III athletics, the longest national championship streak of all-time was broken last weekend.  Kenyon College men's swimming had won 31 consecutive national championships.  They were defeated by North Coast Athletic Conference rival Denison at the national meet in Nashville by 1 point, 500.5 - 499.5.  Being an Ohio Wesleyan grad, I've got the chance to announce the last two NCAC swim meets and see these teams battle in person.  This is definitely a story worthy of national attention.  [NCAA]   

Finally, Wrestlemania is right around the corner.  Here's a preview.  Please make John Cena lose.  [Camel Clutch Blog] 

Also, make sure to check AA tomorrow for a very special Q&A with one of the most popular broadcasters in sports.  I'll give you a hint - vegetables may be involved.

Thursday March 31

Detroit Tigers @ New York Yankees (ESPN 1PM) Sean McDonough, Aaron Boone, Rick Sutcliffe - Yankee Stadium Bronx, NY
San Diego Padres @ St. Louis Cardinals (ESPN 4PM) Dave O'Brien, Nomar Garciaparra - Busch Stadium, St. Louis, MO
San Francisco Giants @ Los Angeles Dodgers (ESPN 8PM) Dan Shulman, Orel Hershiser, Bobby Valentine - Dodgers Stadium, Los Angeles, CA

Friday April 1

Houston Astros @ Philadelphia Phillies (ESPN 1PM) Sean McDonough,Aaron Boone,Rick Sutcliffe - Citizen Bank Ballpark, Philadelphia, PA
Boston Red Sox @ Texas Rangers (ESPN 4PM) Dan Shulman, Orel Hershiser, Bobby Valentine - Rangers Ballpark, Arlington, TX
Seattle Mariners @ Oakland Athletics (MLBN 10:00PM) Local Broadcast - Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum, Oakland, CA [Alternate Markets: San Francisco Giants @ Los Angeles Dodgers]

Saturday April 2

Detroit Tigers @ New York Yankees (FOX 4PM) Joe Buck, Tim McCarver - Yankee Stadium Bronx, NY
San Francisco Giants @ Los Angeles Dodgers (FOX 4PM) Kenny Albert, Eric Karros- Dodgers Stadium, Los Angeles, CA
San Diego Padres @ St. Louis Cardinals (FOX 4PM) Thom Brennaman, Mark Grace - Busch Stadium, St. Louis, MO
Boston Red Sox @ Texas Rangers (MLBN 8PM) Local Broadcast - Rangers Ballpark, Arlington, TX [Alternate Markets: Arizona Diamondbacks @ Colorado Rockies]

Sunday April 3

Boston Red Sox @ Texas Rangers (TBS 2PM) Brian Anderson, John Smoltz - Rangers Ballpark, Arlington, TX
San Francisco Giants @ Los Angeles Dodgers (ESPN2 8PM) Dan Shulman, Orel Hershiser, Bobby Valentine - Dodgers Stadium, Los Angeles, CA

via Sammy!

Happy Opening Day, everyone. The last time you witnessed meaningful baseball, you probably remember Ken Rosenthal wearing a bow tie and making his 5-foot-short frame appear even more hilarious as he'd interview much taller ball players.

Well, when you see his jovial little face again this season, you'll see him wearing a bow tie -- all the time, and for a variety of good causes [via Fox Sports]:

Each Friday on FOXSports.com, we will display the bow tie I will wear on that week’s broadcast, along with a description of the charity and how to get involved. For the postseason, we plan to conduct polls on which bow tie I should wear for each game.

Funny how it all comes around. I didn’t want to wear a bow tie because I thought it would distract from my work. [Dhani] Jones’ mission, though, aligns perfectly with how I perceive my job.

My goal with every column is to make people think. Jones, through his bow ties, wants to achieve the same thing. Let’s talk bow ties. Let’s talk charities. Here’s to a great season on FOX.

Amen. Dhani Jones, of course, is a former University of Michigan linebacker who started the bow tie cause after his friend, who had been diagnosed with lymphoma, told him to "rock a bow tie" to the 2000 NFL draft.

Rocking a bow tie has always been perceived as kind of super nerdy, but real scholars can assure you that rocking a bow tie has never been cooler. Kudos to Jones and Rosenthal.

Ken Rosenthal to wear bow ties for charity during 2011 MLB on FOX season [Fox Sports]

Good news, everyone! The USA Today reports that CBS has decided to bring back the Luther Vandross version of One Shining Moment, scrapping Jennifer Hudson's version after just one year. This whole One Shining Moment controversy has been very new cokeish in my opinion, they messed around with something that didn't need to be changed in the first place. So, after VCU cuts down the nets Monday night, we can all look forward to pretending that we just got something caught in our eyes as one of our old favorites returns to officially end college basketball season.

I'm counting the seconds until ESPN hires Bruce Pearl as an analyst, but in the meantime word has come down that the "Leader" has hired the age defying Jamie Moyer as an analyst for Baseball Tonight.  Via ESPN PR....

Former Major League Baseball pitcher Jamie Moyer, a 24-year Major League veteran, has joined ESPN as a Baseball Tonight analyst.  Moyer will debut tomorrow, Thursday, March 31, contributing to ESPN’s Opening Day coverage (including the midnight ET episode of Baseball Tonight). He will provide analysis on Baseball Tonight throughout the season.

“I’m excited about the opportunity to work at ESPN,” said Moyer.  “It’s a new challenge and I look forward to this forum as a chance to elaborate on the art of pitching as I rehab from injury this season.  I hope to get back on the diamond in the future.”

Moyer, who is out for the season following Tommy John surgery, hopes to pitch in 2012.

What a crazy month it has been for Jalen Rose.  First, the reviews for "Fab Five" are through the roof, then comes the "Uncle Tom"/Grant Hill fallout, and now he's being arrested.  But wait, that timeline is off because he's being charged with DUI from an accident on March 11th.  Via TMZ....

Law enforcement sources tell us ... the 38-year-old former NBA star was driving along an icy roadway on March 11 when he lost control of his vehicle and crashed.

Cops were called to the scene and Rose agreed to undergo several voluntary roadside sobriety tests. He was later transported to a nearby facility for chemical testing ... those results have not yet been returned. Rose was eventually arrested for driving under the influence.

We're told Rose was in his hometown of Detroit in preparation for the opening of the Jalen Rose Leadership Academy ... a charter school designed to provide under-privileged youth with college prep experience.

If only Grant Hill had THIS information back when he wrote his piece for the New York Times!  Driving under the influence is bad enough, but doing it on an icy road is just flat out dumb.  In any case, Jalen will most likely not be facing any jail time and you'll be able to watch him on First Take again, very soon.

This video is pretty self-explanatory.  Woody Paige tries to say the word "discourse" in wrapping up a conversation about fans conversing with coaches before Around The Horn heads to a commercial.  However, that assumes he knows the meaning of the word discourse.  What he actually says is something quite different.  The best (or worst) part about this video may be his creepy laugh at the end.  Yikes.  Thanks to Black Sports Online for the clip.



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Tuesday night's nationally televised Heat/Cavs game tipped off with the drama of LeBron James having trouble getting himself and his entourage into the Q parking garage before the morning shootaround. Then, LeBron didn't show up at all during player intros or the national anthem because he was allegedly in the bathroom (bad burrito and possibly crying).

During game play, we the viewers had the distinct pleasure of listening to Cavs announcers Fred McLeod and "Mr. Cavalier" Austin Carr call an improbable Cavs win over the heavily favored Heat. They're actually far from a dynamic duo, but they gain several points here for piling on Chris Bosh:



Carr likely got the "Bosh = Rupaul" reference from a former Cav, Shaquille O'Neal, who once said Chris Bosh is the Rupaul of big men. Chris Bosh has done everything in his power to live up to that image, so it was really an easy play for Carr. Bosh finished the game 5-14 shooting and four rebounds. Half man stuff.

For the record, this is our third post this season after a Cavs win (20% of their wins) commenting on something their announcers said during the course of the game. That's a strong rate.

Cavs announcer: Chris Bosh is "Rupaul lookalike" [CBS]

I don't want to sound too harsh here, but ESPN's First Take routinely embarrasses itself.  From awkward interview segments (see Shaka Smart having to defend his VCU squad yesterday) to pointless skits that are supposed to be funny (has Jay Crawford dropped that pen in the hole yet?) to mind-numbing debate on 1st & 10 (my favorite question is Did Team X win or Team Y lose... because I'm pretty sure both happened!), First Take usually provides something cringe worthy.  I give credit to the show for trying out a unique format and doing different things, but as someone who has watched a fair share of episodes, First Take is more about what outlandish thing Skip Bayless will say next than real, meaningful sports talk.

Our latest example came today in a 1st & 10 discussion about Chad Ochocinco playing as a reserve for Sporting Kansas City in MLS.  Take a look at the video from Sportsgrid below and see for yourself what Skip Bayless and today's debate partner Rob Parker had to say about Ocho...



Parker - "He's the only black guy in this country who's not from foreign descent or Caribbean descent who wants to play soccer."

Parker - "Do you know of any black guys in this country who would rate soccer like that?"

Bayless - "This is one weird black guy."

Seriously?  Rob Parker is no stranger to saying stupid things, getting axed from the Detroit News for an awful question to Lions coach Rod Marinelli.  In 2011, are we really still subject to neanderthals that say such horribly stereotypical things like "black guys don't like soccer."  Perhaps Rob Parker has never taken the time to look at Charlie Davies, Jozy Alitdore, Eddie Johnson, DaMarcus Beasley, or countless other African Americans that play soccer.  Skip's jaw-dropping remark and the strange discussion that takes place afterwards only further cement this "debate" into First Take lore.  In the context of the global sport of soccer, where racism against players of African descent rages in Europe and elsewhere around the world, this discussion is even more appalling.  But, I suppose I can't expect that thought to cross the minds of Skip and Rob.  What ignorance.

Skip Bayless: Chad Ochocinco "Is One Weird Black Guy" - SportsGrid

Not on the national schedule, but Dennis Rodman gets his jersey retired in Detroit on Friday against the Bulls.

Monday March 28

Philadelphia 76ers @ Chicago Bulls (NBA TV 8PM) Local Broadcast – United Center, Chicago, IL

Tuesday March 29

Miami Heat @ Cleveland Cavaliers (NBA TV 7PM) Rick Kamla, Kevin McHale, Chris Webber– Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland OH

Wednesday March 30

New Jersey Nets @ New York Knicks (ESPN 7:30PM) Dave Pasch, Hubie Brown - Madison Square Garden New York, NY

Thursday March 31

Boston Celtics @ San Antonio Spurs (TNT, 8PM) Kevin Harlan, Kevin McHale – AT&T Center, San Antonio, TX
Dallas Mavericks @ Los Angeles Lakers (TNT 10:30PM) Marv Albert, Mike Fratello – Staples Center, Los Angeles, CA

Friday April 1

Boston Celtics @ Atlanta Hawks (ESPN 8PM) Dave Pasch, Hubie Brown – Phillips Arena, Atlanta, GA
Los Angeles Lakers @ Utah Jazz (ESPN 10:30PM) Mike Breen, Mark Jackson - Energysolutions Arena Salt Lake City, UT

Saturday April 2

Toronto Raptors @ Chicago Bulls (WGN 8PM) Neil Funk, Stacey King  – United Center, Chicago, IL
Oklahoma City Thunder @ Los Angeles Clippers (NBA TV 10:30PM) Local Broadcast – Staples Center, Los Angeles, CA

Sunday April 3

Phoenix Suns @ San Antonio Spurs (ABC 1PM) Mike Tirico, Hubie Brown – AT&T Center, San Antonio, TX
Denver Nuggets @ Los Angeles Lakers (ABC 3:30) Mike Breen, Mark Jackson, Jeff Van Gundy – Staples Center, Los Angeles, CA
Indiana Pacers @ New Orleans Hornets (NBA TV 7PM) Local Broadcast – New Orleans Arena, New Orleans, LA

H/T Sammy.

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