This video is pretty self-explanatory.  Woody Paige tries to say the word "discourse" in wrapping up a conversation about fans conversing with coaches before Around The Horn heads to a commercial.  However, that assumes he knows the meaning of the word discourse.  What he actually says is something quite different.  The best (or worst) part about this video may be his creepy laugh at the end.  Yikes.  Thanks to Black Sports Online for the clip.



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Tuesday night's nationally televised Heat/Cavs game tipped off with the drama of LeBron James having trouble getting himself and his entourage into the Q parking garage before the morning shootaround. Then, LeBron didn't show up at all during player intros or the national anthem because he was allegedly in the bathroom (bad burrito and possibly crying).

During game play, we the viewers had the distinct pleasure of listening to Cavs announcers Fred McLeod and "Mr. Cavalier" Austin Carr call an improbable Cavs win over the heavily favored Heat. They're actually far from a dynamic duo, but they gain several points here for piling on Chris Bosh:



Carr likely got the "Bosh = Rupaul" reference from a former Cav, Shaquille O'Neal, who once said Chris Bosh is the Rupaul of big men. Chris Bosh has done everything in his power to live up to that image, so it was really an easy play for Carr. Bosh finished the game 5-14 shooting and four rebounds. Half man stuff.

For the record, this is our third post this season after a Cavs win (20% of their wins) commenting on something their announcers said during the course of the game. That's a strong rate.

Cavs announcer: Chris Bosh is "Rupaul lookalike" [CBS]

I don't want to sound too harsh here, but ESPN's First Take routinely embarrasses itself.  From awkward interview segments (see Shaka Smart having to defend his VCU squad yesterday) to pointless skits that are supposed to be funny (has Jay Crawford dropped that pen in the hole yet?) to mind-numbing debate on 1st & 10 (my favorite question is Did Team X win or Team Y lose... because I'm pretty sure both happened!), First Take usually provides something cringe worthy.  I give credit to the show for trying out a unique format and doing different things, but as someone who has watched a fair share of episodes, First Take is more about what outlandish thing Skip Bayless will say next than real, meaningful sports talk.

Our latest example came today in a 1st & 10 discussion about Chad Ochocinco playing as a reserve for Sporting Kansas City in MLS.  Take a look at the video from Sportsgrid below and see for yourself what Skip Bayless and today's debate partner Rob Parker had to say about Ocho...



Parker - "He's the only black guy in this country who's not from foreign descent or Caribbean descent who wants to play soccer."

Parker - "Do you know of any black guys in this country who would rate soccer like that?"

Bayless - "This is one weird black guy."

Seriously?  Rob Parker is no stranger to saying stupid things, getting axed from the Detroit News for an awful question to Lions coach Rod Marinelli.  In 2011, are we really still subject to neanderthals that say such horribly stereotypical things like "black guys don't like soccer."  Perhaps Rob Parker has never taken the time to look at Charlie Davies, Jozy Alitdore, Eddie Johnson, DaMarcus Beasley, or countless other African Americans that play soccer.  Skip's jaw-dropping remark and the strange discussion that takes place afterwards only further cement this "debate" into First Take lore.  In the context of the global sport of soccer, where racism against players of African descent rages in Europe and elsewhere around the world, this discussion is even more appalling.  But, I suppose I can't expect that thought to cross the minds of Skip and Rob.  What ignorance.

Skip Bayless: Chad Ochocinco "Is One Weird Black Guy" - SportsGrid

Not on the national schedule, but Dennis Rodman gets his jersey retired in Detroit on Friday against the Bulls.

Monday March 28

Philadelphia 76ers @ Chicago Bulls (NBA TV 8PM) Local Broadcast – United Center, Chicago, IL

Tuesday March 29

Miami Heat @ Cleveland Cavaliers (NBA TV 7PM) Rick Kamla, Kevin McHale, Chris Webber– Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland OH

Wednesday March 30

New Jersey Nets @ New York Knicks (ESPN 7:30PM) Dave Pasch, Hubie Brown - Madison Square Garden New York, NY

Thursday March 31

Boston Celtics @ San Antonio Spurs (TNT, 8PM) Kevin Harlan, Kevin McHale – AT&T Center, San Antonio, TX
Dallas Mavericks @ Los Angeles Lakers (TNT 10:30PM) Marv Albert, Mike Fratello – Staples Center, Los Angeles, CA

Friday April 1

Boston Celtics @ Atlanta Hawks (ESPN 8PM) Dave Pasch, Hubie Brown – Phillips Arena, Atlanta, GA
Los Angeles Lakers @ Utah Jazz (ESPN 10:30PM) Mike Breen, Mark Jackson - Energysolutions Arena Salt Lake City, UT

Saturday April 2

Toronto Raptors @ Chicago Bulls (WGN 8PM) Neil Funk, Stacey King  – United Center, Chicago, IL
Oklahoma City Thunder @ Los Angeles Clippers (NBA TV 10:30PM) Local Broadcast – Staples Center, Los Angeles, CA

Sunday April 3

Phoenix Suns @ San Antonio Spurs (ABC 1PM) Mike Tirico, Hubie Brown – AT&T Center, San Antonio, TX
Denver Nuggets @ Los Angeles Lakers (ABC 3:30) Mike Breen, Mark Jackson, Jeff Van Gundy – Staples Center, Los Angeles, CA
Indiana Pacers @ New Orleans Hornets (NBA TV 7PM) Local Broadcast – New Orleans Arena, New Orleans, LA

H/T Sammy.

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You may have heard that VCU advanced to the Final Four by upsetting #1 seed Kansas on Sunday.  VCU's run to Houston has been simply incredible.  Not only did they advance to the Final Four by having to play an extra game in the ridiculous "First Four," they rolled through competition from the Pac 10, Big East, Big Ten, ACC, and Big XII to get to the Final Four.  I mention those victories over 5 power conferences (you're next Horizon League!) to spotlight the loud cries from Bristol that the Rams never belonged in the tourney over, you guessed it, mediocre power conference schools.  

You may have also heard that many ESPN analysts weren't big fans of VCU before the tourney started.  Don't worry, human leech Skip Bayless is still beating the drum even after VCU's F4 berth.  At least ESPN's anti-VCU crew hasn't broken down into tears like one of the Morris twins.  Way to back up your pregame trash talk by crying like a baby and turning the ball over 58 times.  Well played.

For your enjoyment is this video collection of ESPN analysts and their thoughts on VCU and the selection process before the tourney with quotes as well.  I realize that VCU's miraculous F4 doesn't change the logic involved in defending their existence in the tournament, but seeing the Rams in Houston is remarkable considering the hate that faced them before the dance began.  Credit Jay Bilas for eating his crow like a man, but these videos sure are fun to look back on...

*Who should have got in instead of VCU...



Hubert Davis - "We can make a case for any team being into the NCAA tournament, we can make a case for any team being out of the tournament.  I can't make a case for UAB.  I can't make a case for VCU."

Jay Bilas - "These teams haven't accomplished anything... VCU vs Virginia Tech ok, that's arguable here and there, I don't think it's as arguable as some of these numbers make it look... but, these were bad decisions, we talk about the eye test, this one fails the laugh test."

*Dukie V's rant...



Dick Vitale - "My wife knows diddly about basketball, but if you put her here and said look at Colorado's resume, look at UAB, and look at VCU, it'd be an M&Mer, a mismatch man.  It would be like a beauty contest, Roseanne Barr walkin in vs Scarlett Johansson.  No shot, none whatsoever."

As Reggie Miller explained in his best Bill Cosby voice, this is an ol' fashioned shooootout and the winner goes to the Final Four in Houston! After Butler came back from a double-digit deficit, it was a thrilling back-and-forth affair for the final minutes of regulation and overtime, inducing plenty of AHHHHHHHHHHs from Gus Johnson. So, the final 10 game seconds as seen in the video below, doesn't really give this one justice, man. In fact, if you missed this game, you'd be best serving your time by camping out on vault.ncaa.com and continuously clicking refresh until the game is available.

H/T Bubbaprog

Another unbelieveable finish in one of the wildest tournaments in NCAA history. Here's VCU taking the lead and holding on in the final seconds to reach the Elite 8. Marv's calling the action here, and I like that his excited voice sounds as if he's choking on something. I'm kind of bummed that he didn't sneak in his patented "yes!" call on the layup nor his well-known "rejection!" call on the game-clinching block at the buzzer.

Ok America, get ready to stomach two days of "VCU Shaka's The World" headlines highlighting the "smart" coaching job he's done there.

[Video via Bubbaprog]
 

The Elite Eight is here and here is your full announcing schedule for it. All games will be televised on CBS now. Thanks for everything, TNT, TBS, and even you, truTV. You were all great.

Play-By-Play/Analyst//Reporter

Saturday, March 26:

4:30 PM           CBS              New Orleans       (2) Florida vs. (8) Butler :  Gus Johnson/Len Elmore/Reggie Miller//Marty Snider

7:05 PM           CBS              Anaheim              (3) Connecticut vs. (5) Arizona: Verne Lundquist/Bill Raftery//Lesley Visser

Sunday, March 27:

2:20 PM           CBS              San Antonio I      (1) Kansas vs. (11) VCU: Marv Albert/Steve Kerr//Craig Sager

5:05 PM           CBS             Newark I             (4) Kentucky vs. (2) North Carolina: Jim Nantz/Clark Kellogg//Tracy Wolfson

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Hello friends, here's Jim Nantz calling the final hectic seconds in UK's bracket-busting upset of the Buckeyes. Yep, I'm surprised as you he's not speaking in his patented Masters whispering voice. The win puts Calipari one win away from the Final Four...let's see if he can make this one stick.

[Video via Bubbaprog]

(Photo Credit: @bubbaprog... again.)

Charles Barkley is a studio analyst for the NCAA Tournament coverage on CBS and TBS tonight. There's been multiple occasions tonight where he's seen reaching under the desk, grabbing a drink, and sipping on the drink.

Is the drink booze? It's pretty much impossible to tell, but with Chuck, we're to assume it is, right? He sure sounds like he's had a few drinks tonight.

And I'm not hating; I'm laughing. I mean, I'd be doing the same thing in his position. He's sitting back, watching the NCAA Tournament, and having a good time. It's not like we take most of what he says seriously anyway. He's there for entertainment. We just want him to say something outrageous or speak the truth, both things booze will only help with.

Anyway, here's video of Charles sipping on his drink, via @yankeemeginphl: