Whenever I tell someone in real life I blog about sports, bloopers and goofy videos for a living, I often get the response, "So what, you write about fart jokes all the time?"

I tend to get defensive over such flippant remarks because my work is much more dignified and significant to the greater public discourse than that and reply with something along the lines of, "No, DISTINGUISHED SIR and/or MADAM, blogging isn't ALL fart jokes and general tomfoolery.  It's a much more refined profession than that."

Of course, fart jokes are certainly a part of blogging because hey, farts are funny.  This is one of those times.  Watch.  Enjoy.  Embrace laughter.

This morning in ESPN's fifth circle of hell also known as First Take, as the show cuts to commercial it sure sounds like someone experienced digestive flatulence.

Skippy?  Stephen A?  Someone off camera?  The return of a vengeful Lawrence Frank?  Who knows.  All I know is this was by far the most intelligent noise to ever come out of the show.

[H/T Deadspin]

Wednesday, May 15

G1 - Detroit Red Wings @ Chicago Blackhaws (NBCSN 8PM) Mike Emrick, Eddie Olczyk, Pierre McGuire

Thursday, May 16

G1 - New York Rangers @ Boston Bruins (NBCSN 7:30PM) Dave Strader, Pierre McGuire
G2 - San Jose Sharks @ Los Angeles Kings (NBCSN 10PM) John Forslund, Joe Micheletti

Friday, May 17

G2 - Ottawa Senators @ Pittsburgh Penguins (NBCSN 7:30PM) Rick Peckham, Brian Engblom

Saturday, May 18

G2 - Detroit Red Wings @ Chicago Blackhaws (NBC 1PM) Mike Emrick, Eddie Olczyk, Pierre McGuire
G3 - Los Angeles Kings @ San Jose Sharks (NBCSN 9PM) John Forslund, Joe Micheletti

Sunday, May 19

G2 - New York Rangers @ Boston Bruins (NBC 3PM) Dave Strader, Pierre McGuire
G3 - Pittsburgh Penguins @ Ottawa Senators (NBCSN 7:30PM) Rick Peckham, Brian Engblom

Monday, May 20

G3 - Chicago Blackhaws @ Detroit Red Wings (NBCSN 7:30PM) Mike Emrick, Eddie Olczyk, Pierre McGuire

Tuesday, May 21

G3 - Boston Bruins @ New York Rangers (NBCSN 7:30PM) Dave Strader, Pierre McGuire
G4 - Los Angeles Kings @ San Jose Sharks (NBCSN 10PM) John Forslund, Joe Micheletti

Wednesday, May 22

G4 - Pittsburgh Penguins @ Ottawa Senators (NBCSN 7:30PM) Kenny Albert, Brian Engblom

Thursday, May 23

G4 - Boston Bruins @ New York Rangers (CNBC 7PM) Dave Strader, Brian Engblom
G4 - Chicago Blackhaws @ Detroit Red Wings (NBCSN 8PM) Mike Emrick, Eddie Olczyk, Pierre McGuire
G5 - Los Angeles Kings @ San Jose Sharks (NBCSN 10PM) John Forslund, Joe Micheletti

H/T Sammy!

With UFC Tonight moving to Fox Sports 1 in August when the new network launches, expect analyst Chael Sonnen to be a huge part of the show going forward. Sonnen recently challenged MMA legend Wanderlei Silva for a fight in the future (likely on the FS1 debut show in August), and honestly, the fight makes sense for both men.

Silva didn't respond to Sonnen's 24 hour challenge last week, and Sonnen considered the matter dead...until UFC Tonight last night, when Ariel Helwani read comments from Silva. The initial comments were the usual non-committal remarks you hear leading into an unconfirmed fight, but then Silva ramped up his attacks on Sonnen.

It's been a big week of announcements at ESPN. They announced -- among other things -- at their upfront in New York Tuesday that a soccer studio show would be added to the daily ESPN2 lineup. And word emerged via the Wall Street Journal on Monday that the Worldwide Leader will soon be expanding its collaboration with Twitter to include tweets with sports videos embedded. 

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We've reached that time of year when networks reach out to important advertisers at their "upfront" presentations.  For ESPN, this means a glamorous event in New York where some of the network's most important personalities schmooze with athletes and sell advertisers (and the media gathered) on why the network is still the greatest thing not just since sliced bread, but the advent of loaves of bread as well.  You'll never see a more positive, more sustained PR push than a network upfront.

More importantly for us, upfronts are also venues where networks will unveil new programming, technological, and innovative ideas and may even break some news amidst the pomp and circumstance.  We're here to break down the interesting revelations from ESPN's Upfront yesterday for you... without the Cheez-It people shamelessly fawning over Kirk Herbstreit.

(In case you're wondering, yes that is something that actually happened yesterday.)

April 29, 2013. It's a day that will live forever in the LGBT community. That's when Jason Collins came out publicly in Sports Illustrated. It's also the same day that ESPN NBA insider Chris Broussard went on Outside the Lines to say that he was against homosexuality and called it a life in "open rebellion to God."

Two weeks after that declaration, ESPN President John Skipper said at ESPN's Upfront in New York City that it was a mistake for Broussard to give his personal feelings when he should have been reporting the story. In a brief Q&A with reporters at the ESPN Upfronts in New York on Tuesday, Skipper said:

As the host of Outside the Lines, Bob Ley is the face of ESPN's strongest journalistic and investigative efforts.  He's also the face of goofy screengrabs, but that only adds to his appeal.  Yesterday morning on his highly entertaining Twitter feed, Ley shared a note from a viewer wondering if Joe Paterno was in fact faking his own death in a grand Happy Valley conspiracy.

All Times Eastern

College Football
College Football Live -- ESPN, 3:30 p.m.

Cycling
Giro d'Italia
Stage 11: Cave del Predil to Erto -- beIN Sport, 9:30 a.m.

Tour of California
Stage 4: Santa Clarita to Santa Barbara -- NBC Sports Network, 5 p.m.

Golf
On the Range: Byron Nelson Championship -- Golf Channel, 8 p.m.

If there's one thing I can't resist posting, it's Manny being Manny videos.  Perhaps my favorite highlight in the history of sports is Manny Ramirez and his DIVING LEFT FIELD CUT OFF of former Red Sox teammate Johnny Damon.  Without a doubt it is the single funniest thing I've ever seen happen on a baseball diamond, and that includes Randy Johnson killing a bird.  Let's reminisce, shall we!

Thankfully, with Ramirez in Taiwan, the Manny being Manny highlights have not stopped making their way across the Pacific.  Just watch this "slide" into second base as Ramirez comes up juuuuuuuuust a bit short.

Of course, I don't speak Taiwan, but I assume the announcers aren't laughing at Manny Ramirez.  They're laughing with him.

[Fox Sports]