Tuesday August 30

New York Yankees @ Boston Red Sox (MLBN 7PM) Bob Costas, Jim Kaat [Alt: Philadelphia @ Cincinnati]
Chicago Cubs @ San Francisco Giants (WGNA 10PM) Len Kasper, Bob Brenly

Wednesday August 31

Minnesota Twins @ Chicago White Sox (WGNA 2PM) Ken Harrelson, Steve Stone
New York Yankees @ Boston Red Sox (ESPN 7PM) Dave O'Brien, Nomar Garciaparra

Thursday September 1

New York Yankees @ Boston Red Sox (MLBN 7PM) Bob Costas, Jim Kaat [Alt: Washington @ Atlanta]

Friday September 2

Texas Rangers @ Boston Red Sox (MLBN 7PM) Local Broadcast [Alt: Chi White Sox @ Detroit]
Arizona Diamondbacks @ San Fransisco Giants (MLBN 10PM) Local Broadcast [Alt: Minnesota @ LA Angels]

Saturday September 3

Pittsburgh Pirates @ Chicago Cubs (WGNA 1PM) Len Kasper, Bob Brenly
Texas Rangers @ Boston Red Sox (FOX 4PM) Dick Stockton, Tim McCarver, Ken Rosenthal
Cincinnati Reds @ St. Louis Cardinals (FOX 4PM) Kenny Albert, Mark Grace
Chicago White Sox @Detroit Tigers (FOX 4PM) Matt Vasgersian, Mitch Williams
Arizona Diamondbacks @ San Fransisco Giants (MLBN 9PM) Local Broadcast [Alt: Minnesota @ LA Angels]

Sunday September 4

Pittsburgh Pirates @ Chicago Cubs (WGNA 2PM) Len Kasper, Bob Brenly
Texas Rangers @ Boston Red Sox (TBS 1:30PM) Brian Anderson, Ron Darling, John Smoltz
Chicago White Sox @ Detroit Tigers (ESPN2 8PM) Dan Shulman, Orel Hershiser, Bobby Valentine

H/T Sammy! 

I don't watch many Mariners games, especially in late August, but do their announcers just sit up in the booth and predict/wish for home runs all the time because they have to get happy about something? 

Well, Mariners' occassional color commentator Jay Buhner sort of called Mike Carp's game-winning homer last night against the Angels. C'mo'.

Yeah, that was more wishful thinking out loud, but, as Deadspin pointed out, it was perfect timing by Buhner. What the hell were the Yankees thinking trading this guy? C'mo'.

Apparently, Dancing With The Stars is a pretty popular show that has been a hot spot for athletes looking to improve their crossover appeal outside of sports.  Past winners have included athletes such as Emmitt Smith, Apolo Onho, Helio Castroneves, Kristi Yamaguchi, Shawn Johnson, and Hines Ward. To continue this tradition of athletes appearing on the hit ABC show, Hope Solo and Ron Artest join the cast this year alongside B-listers (Kristen Cavallari, JR Martinez, Nancy Grace), C-listers (David Arquette, Chaz Bono), and others scraping the bottom of the celebrity food chain (Rikki Lake, Rob Kardashian).

The cast as a whole shows how important sports figures are on DWTS.  Not only are there two well-known athletes in Solo and Artest, but dancers like Cavallari (former fiancee to Jay Cutler) and Robert Kardashian (a writer for ESPN.com's Page 2?!?) also have their own connections to the sports world.  At first glance, the most interesting sports figure in the cast is Ron Artest.  Will he try to fight Tom Bergeron or that really old judge?  Will he insist on doing the tango with his psychiatrist?  Will it be the only thing close to NBA action we'll see in the next year?  Many sports fans will tune in to watch the zany Artest/Metta World Peace, but the real rising sports star in the new DWTS cast is U.S. Women's Soccer Goalkeeper Hope Solo.

After the success of the Women's World Cup and a 2nd-place finish, Solo has immediately become the most well-known women's soccer player in the country.  And with the Williams sisters past the heights of their tennis careers and the lack of star power in the WNBA, one could easily argue Solo is becoming the most popular and recognizable female athlete in the country.  A long run on DWTS would not only help her profile among mainstream America, it could also help the growing popularity of women's soccer and soccer as a whole.  Of course, if rumors are true that Solo is posing nude in ESPN The Magazine, I think the U.S. goalkeeper already has the male 18-35 demo committed to stuffing the ballot box.

[Business Insider]

I just stumbled upon this year old video for the first time, but I gotta say it's one of my favorites. Gus Johnson looking swanky as hell in his black-on-black Detroit Tigers hat tilted to an almost dangerous degree recapping his call of our #3 Gus Johnson moment. Gus even brings up his controversial "get away from the cops speed" comment in describing Stokley. Finally, if breaking down what was already a year old play in front of an audience at a videogame convention wasn't awkward enough, the interviewer pesters Gus into reenacting the call. At first, Gus plays coy but then delivers a hilarious over the top call of the play complete with a band playing behind his call that recieves a standing ovation. Sure, that call and the actual Stokley call really weren't that similar, but that's bonus Gus, so I am appreciative.

Anyways, Madden '12 is out today. For many, Madden's release date serves as their personal opening day of the NFL season when they can lock themselves in with their pal Darren SHAHWPAH and lead the Bills to a 10-peat. I haven't picked up a Madden in years so I have no idea if Gus screams for 85% of the game or not, but it has to be more complex than when John Madden would just randomly yell "BOOM" or "POW" a couple times a game.

And, for no reason at all, please enjoy this ambulance montage from an earlier version of Madden football.

F YOU GUMBY.

Last week, we learned that one of our favorites, Brian Kenny, will be leaving ESPN. A personal favorite of mine, I mentioned to a friend how I watched his infamous interview with Floyd Mayweather live when it happened and have probably re-watched it ten times since. That says a lot as the clip is 13 minutes. 

My friend hadn't seen the clip in question so we fired it up and once again I reveled in the back and forth and Kenny's ownage of Mayweather. After 13 minutes, my friend uttered the words "I want to see it again, replay it." 

This got me thinking, what are the sports media clips with the most entertainment longevity? I'm sure I am missing some classics but here are ten that often help me to procrastinate the day away in no particular order.

1) Jim Everett Attacks Jim Rome

Do you respect Rome more or less because of this incident? 

   

2) The Joe Buck Show Unravels Thanks To Artie Lange

There really hasn't been this much drawn out awkward carnage on live television maybe ever. So memorable that this is only half of the fun with part two here. Seriously this is is just amazing.  

This weekend, Arian Foster pulled his hamstring in a preseason game, re-aggrivating an injury from earlier in training camp.  While the injury didn't look too serious, there's obviously concern for not only the Texans... but fantasy owners of Foster as well.  In analyzing NFL injuries, the first direction news goes these days is the "fantasy impact."  Go ahead and Google "Arian Foster injury."  Nearly all of the articles have to deal with fantasy football.  I get fantasy football, I've played it before, but it just doesn't hold anywhere near the same interest level for me as, ya know, real football.

Well, evidently all those stories and people asking about Foster's injury from the virtual perspective got to the Texans running back.  He took to Twitter to hit out about those people worried about their fantasy teams.  Actually, he referred to those people as "sick."  While that may be a bit harsh, I can understand Arian Foster's frustration - fantasy football has turned NFL players into numbers and fantasy points, as if the people behind the athletes weren't distant enough to begin with.  But one certain sports media personality felt the need to call out Arian Foster and engage in a mini-Twitter feud.  You'll never guess who it was...




First off, I'm offended because I must have been the only person on planet earth Cowherd didn't ask to co-sign his Tweet.  Even when Cowherd tries to make a joke, he comes off as a jerk.  Foster's "did your dreams die with your humility" line is an instant classic - one of the best Tweets I've ever seen in a Twitter feud.  

My favorite part of this Twitter sequence though is Cowherd's lame second response.  What does that Tweet about Wikipedia and poetry even mean?  Let me use a halfway sensical, random cultural analogy to analyze this as Cowherd would...

You know those annoying friends of yours that have to have the last word all the time.  No matter what you may say or how great a point you make, they always have to butt in at the end to get the last word.  Ha!  I mean come on!  These people will never let you win an argument.  You can just destroy this person, make all the sense in the world, and yet they'll keep coming at you with stupid persistence.  (laughs obnoxiously)  Really!  These people are on the same rung of humanity as the serial one-upper - you know that guy?  Just disgusitng people.  Ahh... Trent Dilfer joins us next in The Herd...  

Arian Foster 1, Colin Cowherd 0.  I'm scoring this mini-Twitter feud as a 2nd Round knockout in favor of the Texans running back.  Now that's a guy I want on my fantasy team.  
 

I pride myself on being an international sports fan and having an appreciation for sports like Aussie Rules Football.  There's something satisfying about being one of the few American sports fans that knows what exactly happens in this sport.  You've probably seen highlights somewhere of Aussie Rules and the Championship game (Grand Final) last year was televised on ESPN2 and ended in an epic draw (Collingwood beat St. Kilda in the replay a week later).  ESPN3.com broadcasts games every week as well.

That leads us to the weirdest man you'll ever see on a sports show.  The picture and video below come from Australia and The Footy Show.  The best way to describe The Footy Show is like a more risque version of Inside the NBA.  In fact, it's probably more entertaining than 95% of the same ol' studio shows we're used to.  The star of the show is ex-Geelong player and Hall of Famer Sam Newman.  Sam constantly pushes the boundaries and segments like Sam's Mailbag and Street Talk are hilarious... if you're willing to learn some Aussie lingo along the way and get used to the accents.

So as I was watching The Footy Show uploads on Youtube to get ready for the upcoming playoffs this week, I came across this man in white who was being hyped for a Street Talk appearance.  What could be so weird about this minature Aussie version of Tank Abbott?  Well, the multiple choice certainly peaked my interest...

By the way, "agates" are evidently slang for testicles.  Nice to know.  Needless to say, the video didn't disappoint.  Pay attention because the relative clip is only about ten seconds long.  Then jump ahead to the 7:55 mark for the really weird part.  This is one of the most bizarre things I've ever seen on a sports show anywhere around the world...


 

I'm going to try to stay positive with this next clip.  I can imagine it being very difiicult to be a sports anchor.  There's all sorts of obligations and pressure associated with being on television and probably a million things happening during a telecast.  Having a little experience with this kind of thing, I also know it's very easy to get tongue tied or make a Freudian slip during a telecast.  (I once referred to a defensive tackle as "Taylor Swift" instead of "Taylor Smith," d'oh!)  

So, I can't be too hard on Cindy Brunson for the following clip.  Besides, I used all of my sexual innuendo jokes for the month on this post.  The SportsCenter anchor had one of those hilarious moments when her brain and mouth weren't on the same page when she recapped Caroline Wozniacki's win in New Haven this weekend.  Wozniacki has been in the news for forming sports' newest power couple with golf's rising star, Rory McIlroy.  (We just need a terrible and forced one word nickname for them now - "WozMac?"  "RoWo?"  "Macnack?")  As the highlight ends, I think Cindy is trying to say Rory is "digging it" while watching in the stands.  What actually came out was something entirely different.  It's here I would insert more crude humor, but it's a Sunday after all.



A huge H/T to Jeff Lowe for sending us the clip.

 

The month of August is one of the worst, if not the single most brutal month on the sports television calendar.  The baseball season is finally winding down the dog days of summer, college and pro football haven't kicked off yet (no, I'm not counting preseason), and other sports like golf and soccer aren't in their peak months.  And yet, every year like a rite of late summer, what does ESPN force down our throats... the Little League World Series.

Yes, every August, ESPN has committed to broadcasting the Little League World Series like it was the most important sporting event in the world, at least in the category of pre-teens grabbing at their junk on national television.  In years past, the omnipresence of the LLWS has been extremely annoying for the silent majority of sports fans.  However, ESPN decided to take their devotion to the LLWS to new heights this year, televising not only all 32 games of the LLWS in Williamsport across the family of networks, but also branching out into regional coverage this August to the tune of an additional 22 games, that's over 50 IN TOTAL!

You practically haven't been able to turn on ESPN without seeing children playing baseball this month. Of course, ESPN's commitment to stay with a Regional LLWS game over a USA/Mexico friendly caught the ire of many sports fans earlier this month when soccer fans were forced to miss the beginning of Jurgen Klinnsmen's debut and the first goal of the match.  But now, amid mounting criticism of ESPN's saturation of coverage, and possible exploitation of the kids playing the game, the WWL's attack dog has sprung to their defense... ESPN's supposedly independent Ombudsman, The Poynter Institute...

So much for that survey the Dodgers were sending around to their season ticket holders. Legendary Dodgers' announcer Vin Scully decided to take it upon himself to quash that silly thing and announce he's returning for a 63rd season. He made the announcement with a cookie in-hand before the top half of an inning during the Dodgers/Rockies game Friday night.

Here's video of his announcement via MLB.tv:

      
No, we don't want Scully to ever be quiet and eat his cookie ... 

Scully was inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1982 and Radio Hall of Fame in 1995, has called three perfect games, 19 no-hitters, 25 World Series (hopefully one more?) and 12 All-Star games in his career. He has a Life Achievement Emmy Award for sportscasting, ranks 2nd on my personal all-time favorite announcers list behind Ernie Harwell, and I'm confident recordings of his voice will one day help cure cancer. 

Yeah, he's a rock star announcer, so we should be quiet (and eat those leftover cookies) and just be grateful we're able to listen to him for one more year.