Seen here shitting the bed like me with a belly full of liquor and lamb over rice, the Miami Herald ran an ad for Macy's (Macy's'?) line of Heat Championship gear.
Tim Elfrink of The Miami New Times, already in enough pain it appears, explains that the ad ran on the same page as a story about the series with the headline "Heat just never got the point during Finals loss to more-organized Mavs" and a banner that reads "DALLAS WINS BEST-OF-7 SERIES 4-2."
What is this El Nuevo Herald?
Or is someone just trying to burn my loins? Perhaps it's that man upstairs that told LeBron it wasn't his time yet. I expect this from the rest of the galaxy, Mijammy, but not from you. Not only because this ran the morning after Game 6, but because even if the Heat had won, they would have tied the series and forced Game 7. Of course an ad should have been prepared, but under no circumstances should it have been within 2 days of circulation. Way harsh.
Professor Elfrink went on to say it's alright if they ran the wrong ad because you still have to wake up and go back to the real world tomorrow. So there.
This is about as good as it gets as far as clueless announcers go. From our research department, I believe this comes from the 2nd Inning of Friday's Yankees/Indians game in the Bronx. Cleveland's Carlos Santana is at the plate and hits a ball down the right field line. Luckily, Yankees play by play man John Sterling is there to clearly decipher the action in a way that only Chip Caray could possibly understand...
This "sterling" call (oh God, I'm starting to sound like Sterling now) is worthy of a breakdown...
1) Sterling first says it was lined deep down the right field line 2) Then, he calls a base hit (as the Yankee crowd audibly cheers in the background) 3) Nope, on second thought, Sterling sees a foul ball 4) Sterling comments that Santana is mysteriously told by somebody that it is a foul ball 5) Suzyn Waldman informs John that Yankee OF Nick Swisher actually caught the ball 6) Sterling goes on oblivious to the fact that he is announcing a baseball game
That's a lot to digest. I love everything about this botch though - Sterling's several layers of not having a clue what is going on in front of his eyes, making things up on the fly, Waldman's matter of fact correction as if she needs to remind John where he is and what he's doing, and then Sterling's totally oblivious reaction to everything that just happened. Perhaps his mind was preoccupied with his next great home run call... or maybe there's not much that occupies his mind at all.
The Dallas Mavericks won their first championship last night in Miami with a 105-95 victory in Game 6. There were plenty of heroes for Dallas that answered the prayers of millions of fans around the country. Dirk Nowitzki won the Finals MVP and scored 10 in the 4th quarter after a 1-12 1st half and Jason Terry came up clutch with 27 points off the bench. JJ Barea was huge once again and Deshawn Stevenson of all people made big threes in the 1st half. Vets like Kidd, Marion, Stojakovic, and Chandler won their first ring as well. Heck, even Mark Cuban finally made an appearance and came up with a classy gesture of having David Stern hand the trophy to original Mavs owner Don Carter.
Of course, since the Mavs beat the Heat though, the failure of one LeBron James is the story to come out of the 2011 NBA Finals. Unfortunately, the story of the Mavs and their great run through the Playoffs from the #4 seed and Dirk's 13 year quest for a title will largely be overshadowed because of one fact. The NBA Finals came and went and the King is still without a ring. LeBron James went missing for large portions of the game once again last night and will likely face even more criticism, laughter, and venom from fans not just in Cleveland, but around the country. I've never seen schadenfreude referenced more in a 14 hour period.
So, when LeBron went to his postgame presser with bff Dwyane Wade, someone was bound to ask about the sheer glee that his haters experienced with his failing in the Finals. Perhaps all the hate finally got to LeBron as he had this not so measured response...
The more I listen to that quote, the more cringe worthy it is. I understand James' point of view... yes, it's fun to root against LeBron and the Heat for most of us (save a thought for a true Heat fan though, our own Mike Vitiello, don't turn it on ESPN today), but we do all have real lives to live. However, referencing your great life and the personal problems of real people are not going to endear King James to the masses once again. The more you listen to this soundbyte, the more disconnected and arrogant James sounds. LeBron even lost his personal beat reporter, Brian Windhorst of ESPN's Heat Index, who didn't hold back the harsh words:
“They can get a few days or a few months or whatever the case may be on being happy that not only myself, but the Miami Heat not accomplishing their goal,” James said. “But they’ll have to get back to the real world at some point.”
And there’s the rub. So, too, will James. Eight years in, James is walking away from another season with no ring. In the past he could -- and did -- with his head high while quietly blame others. Last year, he got away with a series in which he failed to deliver.
Now, in the real world, there’s nowhere to hide.
If anything, LeBron is more cemented in the villain role than ever. So with that, some of those real people had to welcome James back to the real world today. Here's a mini Real Tweets from Real People with some of their tweets @KingJames...
MazzESPN ouch: BREAKING NEWS City of Dallas just announced tomorrow is @Kingjames ( Lebron James ) Day. Everyone gets to leave work 12 minutes early
Now that the NBA season is over, here's your national MLB TV schedule for the week. The New York Yankees taking a trip to Wrigley Field is the featured series of the weekend as we'll see Buck & McCarver and Sunday Night Baseball travel to Wrigleyville.
Monday June 13
Cleveland Indians @ New York Yankees (ESPN 7PM) Sean McDonough, Aaron Boone,Rick Sutcliffe
Tuesday June 14
Boston Red Sox @ Tampa Bay Rays (MLBN 7PM) Local Broadcast [Alt: Texas @ NY Yankees] Cincinnati Reds @ Los Angeles Dodgers (MLBN 10PM) Local Broadcast [Alt: Kansas City @ Oakland]
Wednesday June 15
Texas Rangers @ New York Yankees (ESPN 7PM) Dave O'Brien, Nomar Garciaparra
Thursday June 16
Baltimore Orioles @ Toronto Blue Jays (MLBN 12:30) Local Broadcast [Alt: Texas @ NY Yankees 1PM] Milwaukee Brewers @ Chicago Cubs (WGNA 2PM) Len Kasper, Bob Brenly Boston Red Sox @ Tampa Bay Rays (MLBN 7:00) Local Broadcast [Alt: NY Mets @ Atlanta]
Friday June 17
New York Yankees @ Chicago Cubs (MLBN 2:15) TBA Texas Rangers @ Atlanta Braves (MLBN 7PM) Local Broadcast [Alt: Milwaukee @ Boston]
Saturday, June 18
New York Yankees @ Chicago Cubs (FOX 4PM) Joe Buck, Tim McCarver Texas Rangers @ Atlanta Braves (FOX 4PM) Kenny Albert, Mark Grace Detroit Tigers @ Colorado Rockies (MLBN 8PM) Local Broadcast [Alt: Chi White Sox @ Arizona] Chicago White Sox @ Arizona Diamondbacks (WGNA 8PM) Ken Harrelson, Steve Stone
Sunday June 19
Milwaukee Brewers @ Boston Red Sox (TBS 1:30PM) Ernie Johnson, Ron Darling, John Smoltz New York Yankees @ Chicago Cubs (ESPN 8PM) Dan Shulman, Orel Hershiser, Bobby Valentine
This is your night Mark Cuban (and Maverick fans, people in Ohio, and 90% of NBA fans). The owner and entrepreneur who has always had a chip on his shoulder seemed to fall back on that mentality as he boasted not once, but twice on television that Maverick fans "punked the sh*t out of Miami fans."
Below is the Sportscenter video:
The funny thing is, after that quote, I immediately went to write this article and noticed that there already seemed to be a post up about this. Sportsgrid.com had already posted and tweeted this story. Really? It took you under 30 seconds to write up this event and tweet it? That's crazy.
Sportsgrid was actually posting a different video in which Cuban essentially said the exact same sound bite earlier while in the locker room:
I think the best part of the whole "incident" was Hannah Storm's reaction immediately after. She was frozen in this type of face for about 12 seconds.
Cuban has never had issues with crossing the line or pushing boundaries. Given his euphoric state, I don't think he'll have any regrets, even if the NBA punks the shi*t out of his bank account.
There's something about soccer announcing that can bring so much to the table. Whether it's the rhythm and accent of someone like Martin Tyler or the breathless excitement and linguistics of some of the game's best moments, soccer can provide outstanding moments in the broadcast booth. There's also the other end of the spectrum, like those CONCACAF bozos from last week, Dave O'Brien, or whatever this is. I'm not sure how to categorize this one though, except for EXTREMELY laid back. It's not too often you see a goalie score a goal from a free kick over the halfway line in injury time to amazingly tie the game... but when you live in Antigua, it's just not that big of a deal. The video comes from Deadspin...
The 2011 NBA Finals has had some classic matchups. We've been treated to Dirk vs. Wade, Lebron vs. twitter, and Juwan Howard vs. Brian Cardinal. These are just some of the matchups that have made this an ESPN Classic filled series through 5 games. Surprisingly, one of the most exciting matchups has taken place off the court in Charles Barkley vs. Dan Le Batard. Charles Barkley has been not so shy in repeatedly calling out Miami and their fans this postseason. Even though approximately 49 states agree with Barkley, the things he says no other analyst would even come close to touching on TV or radio. On the other side, the bombastic Miami Herald writer/radio host Dan Le Batard has been hilarious with his over the top rants. It really has been Barkley at his best and given Le Batard some great exposure before his own show on ESPN 2 starts up in a couple of months.
Unfortunately, it looks like their hotstreak will be coming to a cataclysmic end. According to Yahoo, Dan Le Batard and Charles Barkley have made a bet on the NBA Finals with seriously awful stakes. How bad are they? If Miami wins, Barkley will take his talents to South Beach and parade around in a speedo. If Dallas closes out the series, Le Batard will be the one in a speedo. Pictures will be taken. No matter what, everyone with eyeballs is the big loser in this one. It really is a shame that Barkley and his problematic gambling habits will negatively effect us all in the coming days.
Surprise A pleasent cameo on tonight's coverage of Game 5 of the Stanley Cup Finals as Dan Patrick took the reigns of the broadcast, much to the delight of the Twitterverse. Patrick was a staple of ESPN's meteoric rise over the years but has focused elsewhere after his very public departure from ESPN. He's mostly been relegated to print and radio although his radio show also graces DirectTV's 101 channel which has been branded "The Audience Network".
Patrick has had roles with NBC in the past, doing some coverage for the Olympics and prior to that some pre game work for Sunday Night Football. He also played a part in last year's Stanley Cup Finals, so his surprise appearance wasn't all that shocking this wasn't really a surprise given his appearance was announced on a press release a month ago (one that this author didn't read/ or get). There were some rumors of a return to ESPN a couple years back, but unfortunately nothing ever came to fruition.
Patrick's popularity and relevance still makes him an elite entity despite the lack of work on television. Many have commented that Patrick may be past his prime or for a lack of words "aging too fast" but the reality is he's still smooth, sharp as a whip, and a great voice who covers sports with the best of them.
Having retained the Olympics and the NHL, Comcast Versus has essentially played defense of their programming although they were bested in the end for Pac 12 rights by a Fox/ESPN coalition. Should NBC/Comcast begin to acquire additional sports media rights on top of their current portfolio, I think it's safe to assume that Patrick may find himself a big part of those plans. Unfortunately though, no major rights come up for bid in the short term, so for now the Stanley Cup and Sunday Night Football seems to be all you'll get of Patrick on a major broadcast/cable network in a non Olympic year.
For some reason, my television landed on The Herd today a little after 12:30. I was enjoying lunch and thought that a few minutes of Cowherd would be good for a laugh or two, especially considering the fallout of Game 5 of the NBA Finals and the criticism of LeBron James. I know, I know, nothing good can come from listening to Cowherd, but I was in a rather gracious mood. AA readers will know how we feel about Cowherd (he should be taken off the air) and the laundry list of his offenses over the last few years is too long to count. Well, wouldn't you know that in five minutes of listening to The Herd today, I was able to be "enlightened" by Colin's thoughts on unemployment.
Cowherd has often targeted the Midwest before for whatever reason. Whether his target is Ohio State, their fans, the Bears, the Reds, Aaron Rodgers, Cleveland fans, and basically anyone that isn't an intellectual elite from the Northeast or Los Angeles, he always has something negative to say about this part of the country. He continues to befuddle listeners with his sweeping doctrinal, cultural declarations that are often inaccurate, offensive, and just plain insane. Cowherd sees himself as such a knowledgeable beacon of reason and truth, but in reality he couldn't be further from either. Most of the time, in trying to make an inspiringly brilliant point, Cowherd says something so neanderthalic that it defies description. He did it again today. In talking about the sympathy he has for LeBron James (surprise), Cowherd actually made a very good point that the venom and hate towards James is unnecessary. But, he just couldn't resist saying something jaw-dropping. Have a listen...
Never has someone continually insulted so many of his listeners and get away with it time and time again from his employer. Cowherd can't stop at the point of having sympathy for LeBron, which I would disagree with, but whatever, it's his opinion. No, Cowherd has to include these bizarre statements:
"I could argue that if you still live in Cleveland at this point, you're bringing unemployment on, couldn't I?"
"If you live in Youngstown, Ohio should I have no sympathy that you're unemployed? You're kinda bringing it on yourself."
"If you live in Ohio or Indiana rurally, you're kinda bringing unemployment on yourself."
Seriously. Three times he says this about unemployment and "bringing it on yourself!" I'm sure that Cowherd's listeners in Cleveland, Youngstown, and rural areas across the Midwest really understand and appreciate the idiotic point he is trying to make here. Don't worry though, you poor people have his sympathy regardless. And it's not like these statements are taken out of context either. It's another example of Cowherd trying to make a ridiculous point and totally losing the plot in the process. How in the world could someone justify this?!?! As Ken Fang pointed out on Twitter, you can apply this crappy logic to anything.
Does Cowherd not know the strife of people that live in Youngstown and Cleveland and some of these other areas? I'd like to see Cowherd go door to door in Youngstown (whose unemployment rate fell to 9.1% by the way) and tell the people there that they are bringing unemployment on themselves. I'd like for him to go to rural Indiana and tell the people there how much their life sucks. Maybe he can send a damn sympathy bouquet too. Don't worry though, Colin has "sympathy" for these people, even though they bring their wretched lives upon themselves. As a Buckeye state resident, I can tell you that these Cowherd comments may be the most infuriating of them all. I know too many fine people that are struggling for their livelihoods with unemployment in these parts and doing everything but bringing it upon themselves. It makes me sick.
From the announcing police blotter, former Cubs first basemen and current Diamondbacks analyst Mark Grace was arrested on Memorial Day weekend for suspicion of a DUI. From the looks of the mugshot, he was quite pleased with himself. What a creepy looking dude. Perhaps he was out partying with Miguel Cabrera. Here's the report from TMZ:
According to the police report, obtained by TMZ, cops observed Grace in his 2009 Jaguar weaving in and out of his lane around 1 AM on May 30. Once officers pulled him over, cops say Grace -- who had a female passenger in the car -- admitted to "having a few drinks."
According to the report, Grace said he had consumed two glasses of Macallan scotch earlier that evening -- one of which he finished "5 minutes before the stop."
Cops say 46-year-old Grace -- who's now an announcer for the Arizona Diamondbacks -- also had "bloodshot and watery eyes" ... and he did not have his wallet or license with him at the time of the arrest.
When the officer asked, "How do you think you did on the field tests" ... Grace replied, "Not well enough."
I wouldn't call Grace an "MLB legend" like TMZ does, but I do wonder if there are slumpbusters following DUI arrests? Seriously though, how stupid do you have to be to drink and drive... especially a public figure like Mark Grace? You aren't only risking your own life, but others as well. While Grace is a retired player, his arrest comes on the heels of a handful of current MLB players being arrested for DUI the last few months. It's a serious problem that must be dealt with, it seems, even for the announcers.
