Last week, Create the Caption starred Justin Bieber awkwardly talking with Craig Sager.  The winner was Rizzmiggizz with "Welcome to my chocolate factory, Charlie."  Thanks for those of you that participated!  This week, our caption comes from the man that is winning the moment - one Charlie Sheen.  I can't think of anyone that has so captivated the nation like the insane drugged out actor has for the past 72 hours.  After opening his Twitter account and gaining hundreds of thousands of followers instantly, Sheen tweeted this picture along with the words, "Winning!... choose your vice."  Can you create a create the caption to describe Charlie's madness?  At least he's still channeling his inner Ricky Vaughn with that Indians cap.  There's a lot to work with here people, I'm hoping for some awesome captions!



#Winning Links

ESPN is threatening suit over rights to... Conference USA?  Really?  [Sports Business Journal]

The first official shot is fired in the NFL Lockout saga - a victory for the players as owners will be denied their massive TV money in the event of football's absence.  [Sports Illustrated]

A journalist got fired for clapping for Trevor Bayne in the Daytona pressbox.  Here's his side of the story.  [Frontstretch]

The Sporting News on AOL has arrived.  Here's what it looks like.  [Sporting News]

Sadly, the Colombian club soccer mascot owl has died.  [Fox Sports]

ESPN's new ombudsman is actually a journalism school.  [ESPN Media Zone]

CM Punk made Shawne Merriman Go 2 Sleep in a cross-sport (or entertainment) Twitter fight.  [Hot Clicks]

Recently, ESPN writer and television contributor Howard Bryant was arrested by police on Saturday in Massachusetts after an alleged domestic dispute with his wife.  Bryant was charged with domestic assault and battery, assault and battery on a police officer, and resisting arrest.  The initial reports claim that witnesses saw Bryant arguing with his wife and he subsequently choked her.  Furthermore, Bryant then struggled with police, allegedly elbowing a policeman in the chest at the scene.

Bryant refutes the arrest, releasing a statement that he is innocent.  From USA Today...

"I am so sad today. I am sad today because this attack on me by the Massachusetts State Police and the Buckland Police has made it necessary for me to defend untrue allegations and repair my reputation when one conversation with either Veronique or with me would have diffused the entire situation. Instead, the police chose aggression first over dialogue, threatened to taser me whenever I tried to speak, and all in front of my 6-year-old son. As a result, I have to defend a charge that I attacked both the woman I love and the police when nothing could be further from the truth."

Bryant's wife also released a similar statement proclaiming that nothing happened.  Furthermore, Bryant's lawyer claims that race was a factor with the arrest.  In that Mass Live interview, Bryant goes on to say that he lost his temper in a public way, but that the police reports are entirely false.  So, on one side there are five witnesses and police reports of domestic violence versus Bryant and his wife's claims of his innocence on the other side.  Clearly, judgment will have to be reserved in this case until all the facts are on the table.  Nevertheless, Howard Bryant was one of the most respected voices in ESPN the Magazine and on ESPN.com.  Seeing his name in this light is nothing but bad news for the leader, even if he's eventually proven innocent.  His name joins Ron Franklin, Steve Phillips, Jay Mariotti, and others representing ESPN who have been in the news for the wrong reasons.  Time will tell whether Bryant's ESPN career withstands these charges.

[USA Today, The Republican]

Here are a couple of slip ups that might make you giggle a little and then me way over-analyzing them.

First, we have Mike Mayock referring to Jahvid Best as a "black" instead of a running "back." Our friends at Cosby Sweaters think it might be a racially charged Freudian slip, but I think it probably has to do with the fact he just finished talking about LaGarrette Blount:

Speaking of LaGarrette Blount and Detroit running backs, we then have Bruce Bowen analyzing the tragic "player protest" involving the Detroit Pistons. Bowen sends his well wishes to Pistons head coach John Kuester, who has to deal with the situation, and adds that it's unfortunate he will likely take the "blunt" of the blame:

So, yeah, while Mayock may have still been thinking of the L in his previously used B-word, Bowen could've been thinking ahead to his next B-word, "blame." Or they could've been some kind of Freudian slips. I dunno, you be the judge:

In Racially Charged Freudian Slip News... [Cosby Sweaters]
Rip Hamilton yelled at John Kuester so hard the youngsters were mortified [Deadspin]

Monday February 28
Boston Celtics @ Utah Jazz (NBA TV 9PM) Local Broadcast - EnergySolutions Arena, Salt Lake City, Utah

Tuesday March 1

New York Knicks @ Orlando Magic (NBA TV 7PM) Ernie Johnson, Kevin McHale, Chris Webber - Amway Center, Orlando, FL

Wednesday March 2

Phoenix Suns @ Boston Celtics (NBA TV 7:39PM) Local Broadcast - TD Garden, Boston, MA
Houston Rockets @ Los Angeles Clippers (NBA TV 10:30PM) Local Broadcast - Staples Center, Los Angeles, CA

Thursday March 3

Orlando Magic @ Miami Heat (TNT 8PM) Kevin Harlan, Reggie Miller - American Airlines Arena, Miami, FL
Denver Nuggets @ Utah Jazz (TNT 10:30PM) Dick Stockton, Kevin McHale - EnergySolutions Arena, Salt Lake City, Utah

Friday March 4 

Chicago Bulls @Orlando Magic (ESPN 7PM) Michael Tirico, Hubie Brown - Amway Center, Orlando, FL
Miami Heat @ San Antonio Spurs (ESPN 9:30PM) Mike Breen, Mark Jackson - AT&T Center, San Antonio, TX

Saturday March 5

Toronto Raptors @ New Jersey Nets (NBA TV 3PM) Local Broadcast - Prudential Center, Newark, NJ

Sunday March 6

Chicago Bulls @ Miami Heat (ABC 1PM) Michael Tirico, Hubie Brown - American Airlines Arena, Miami, FL
Los Angeles Lakers @ San Antonio Spurs (ABC 3:30PM) Mike Breen, Mark Jackson, Jeff Van Gundy - AT&T Center, San Antonio, TX
New York Knicks @ Atlanta Hawks (ESPN 6:30PM) Dan Shulman, Doris Burke - Philips Arena, Atlanta, GA
Boston Celtics @ Milwaukee Bucks (ESPN 9PM) Terry Gannon, Tim Legler - Bradley Center, Milwaukee, WI

H/T Sammy!

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There may be nothing in the universe that is funnier than a man getting hit in the groin... unless it happens to you of course.  But, when that unique and momentary pain and misery is unleashed on another human being, it is hilarious.  When that man is CBS golf announcer David Feherty, wearing a ridiculous target suit, being hit by a little kid, we reach the stratosphere of guys getting hit in the groin videos...



This video is definitely near the top of the list for all-time groin shots, but it still can't touch #1 - the legendary Hans Moleman.  I think the following clip may be one of the defining moments of my childhood.  And, who better to summarize why it's so funny than Homer Simpson himself...

"But, the ball, his groin, aha, it works on so many levels!"



Wise words my friend, wise words.

As a part of her new deal with ESPN signed last summer, Erin Andrews was given additional opportunities and TV time.  These included hosting an extra hour of College Gameday and becoming an ABC crossover personality by appearing on Good Morning America.  Well, now EA is going Hollywood by covering the Oscars with former ESPNer Robin Roberts.  From USA Today...

The Mouse House is making good on its promise to Andrews to allow to her to cover both sports for ESPN and entertainment for sister network ABC.

Andrews bashers won't like it but she's working with Robin Roberts on Good Morning America's coverage of the 83rd Annual Academy Awards on Sunday night. There she was in Hollywood Friday morning providing a behind-the-scenes hit for GMA viewers on the logistics for the Governor's Ball.

Andrews bashers?  Are there actually people out there that don't like Erin Andrews?  I suppose I haven't met one yet.  Good for her to continue to expand her reporting and TV work by breaking into Hollywood.  The red carpet experience must beat being creeped out by thousands of drunk college dudes on a regular basis.  Erin should do us all a favor while she's there and take out Joan Rivers' scary robot corpse once and for all.  Seriously, that thing could be the star of the next Saw franchise.  Here's a behind the scenes video with EA from Good Morning America...



In terms of Best Picture, I've got to go with The King's Speech. By far the best movie I've seen this year and maybe one of my favorite of all-time.  Honestly, I thought it was going to be boring too but it ended up being a terrific movie.  There's just something about a stuttering English monarch that speaks to me in a profound way.

No, it's not that Dick Vitale has come down with "basketball fever," that is to be expected come this time of the year. It's also not that Nurse Ashleigh goes over the doctors head in diagnosing Dick's illness. Nor is it that onion rings will cure this mysterious "basketball fever." To me, it is most certainly is the appearance of the Schwab as an extra pumping his fist in delight at Hooters with Dickie V. It's nice to know that ESPN lets him out of their dungeon every once in a while for purposes other than reciting ABA all-star game MVP winners.

What is it about hockey announcers that are so bizarre?  Earlier this year there was Howie Rose and his dissing of the Islanders and incredibly awkward on-air apology, there's Don Cherry (just re-signed by CBC in Canada) and his crazy suits and crazier opinions, Randy Moller and his incredible pop culture references, and then there's the craziness of guys like Jack Edwards.  However, this may be the creme de la creme of bizarre hockey announcer stories.

From Puck Daddy comes the story of Mike Hickey, announcer for the Springfield Junior Blues of the NAHL.  Who knew they even existed, right?  As the PD article explains, things got a little chippy in a game between the Jr. Blues and the Topeka Roadrunners.  That's where things only begin to get interesting.  Hickey became enraged with some of the tactics of the Roadrunners and unleashed these gems during his broadcast (unfortunately no video/audio)...

"In the middle! With the long hair! Jerk! Greasy little punk!"

"Oh, c'mon, you can't hold! [Silence] Oh, boy. That's one way to get around him: Hold your opponent until your teammate can get by. This game is deteriorating into a love-fest. Typical Topeka game. Let's go Blues."

"We got another period of this. And with Topeka's history, it's only going to get worse.

"They're disgusting. You heard it here first. They're disgusting. But the Junior Blues will take care of business, I gar-run-tee."

Even at the Junior Hockey level, crimes against blatant announcing homerism are noticed quickly.  Apparently, Hickey and the Jr. Blues got plenty of complaints from Topeka fans about being referred to as disgusting.  Hickey then took the remarkable step of suspending himself from broadcasting for his comments during the game!  Maybe that's how things work in minor league hockey, can't say that I'm an expert.  I don't recall a broadcaster at any level suspending himself for homeristic comments made during a broadcast (yes, I might have made up a word), but hopefully this sets a trend throughout sports broadcasting.  When watching your team play in a road/neutral game, there can be nothing more annoying than an announcer who is an insufferable homer.  Sure, Hickey's comments were probably out of line, but it's a noble action to suspend yourself and realize when your homerism goes too far.  Then again, maybe at 67, Hickey should have known where the line was drawn in the first place.  

What do you think, do you like your home team's announcers to play the aggressive homer card?  Or, do you prefer the straight down the middle perspective with a tiny slant towards the home team?  Let us know in the discussion below and the poll on the main page.  At least this story gives me an excuse to the most entertaining bit of homerism I have ever seen!



[Puck Daddy]

Michigan and Wisconsin just played one of the least beautiful offensive games of the Big Ten Season. It ended like you'd expected it to, a banked in three pointer at the buzzer for a Wisconsin win, 53-52. The shot was hurled up by Josh Gasser, probably Wisconsin's 4th option on the play. Tom Hart provides the call in this clip. Still, it's hard to not feel somewhat cheated that a game on the Big Ten Network that came down to a three at the buzzer didn't have Gus Johnson calling the action.

CSN Chicago announced today that former Bulls legend Scottie Pippen will join their broadcast team for this Friday's game and for all playoff games televised on CSN.  It will be interesting to see how good Pippen is as a broadcaster, considering a lot of great all-time players have tried and failed as analysts.  From CSN Chicago...

“Scottie Pippen is most certainly one of the greatest players in NBA history whose knowledge and passion of the game is second to none,” said James J. Corno, President of Comcast SportsNet Chicago.  “We’re thrilled Scottie will be on our team with Neil and Stacey for the March 4th telecast at Orlando, along with every Bulls playoff telecast on Comcast SportsNet this spring.”

Pip has had limited analyst work (I think I remember seeing him in ESPN's studio a couple times), but it will be interesting to see how he does this time around.  He does have high standards to live up to in the current CSN booth with some of fellow analyst Stacey King recent work.  This continues a great week for Pippen.  Last seen he was laying the smack down on Celebrity All Star Game MVP Justin Bieber.  Shouldn't that get a medal of some kind?